


Hideaway

by Rachelskarstensboobs



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, F/F, Fluff, Growing Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-27 01:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 85,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15014174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachelskarstensboobs/pseuds/Rachelskarstensboobs
Summary: AU where Camila and Lauren meet in kindergarten before Laurens family is forced to move away. What happens if they finally meet in High School again after years of being apart, can they still be friends or could there maybe be more.





	1. When I first met her

It was my first day in kindergarten and my mama had just dropped me off. She had looked as nervous as I had felt when she had left me with that blond woman. The woman had said something to me but I was to busy taking it all in. Everything was new and overwhelming and I felt like my mama had just abandoned me here in this place.

I remember my mama telling me that I will like it here, that I will make lots of friends and that I just have to give it a little time. I didn’t believe her. I already didn’t like this place but I also remembered that I had promised her that I would try.

The night before I had sat with her talking about today and picking out what to wear. I had spent a great deal of time picking out the prettiest of my dresses and I had become exceedingly excited to show everyone the white bow my mama had bought me for my first day.

The blond woman lead me outside to the playground, towards a group of children that were already engaged in their activity and I was shoehorned into their group. When I saw all their eyes curiously on me, I instantly felt uncomfortable and looked down, clutching my teddy tighter to my chest, squeezing the womans hand, who in return looked at me and gave me another bright reassuring smile, making me feel less terrified.

I took a deep breath and let go of her hand, only to have her squeeze my shoulder as she left me with the group to play. I wasn’t made very clear on what the guidelines of the activity were and within about five minutes I had violated the rules so badly that each member of the group complained and started to ignore me.

I walked away from the group, feeling unwanted as I looked at the ground, already feeling tears stinging and forming in my eyes. I clutched my teddy harder to my chest, hoping that my mama was going to be back soon.

I took a quick look around, but I felt more terrified by the second. I fearfully watched as some kids were chasing each other, smiling and screaming. My eyes widened slightly as I saw a tall girl pushing another girl of the swing before sticking out her tongue at the girl laughing loudly.

I suddenly felt like I was being watched and looked around. My dark brown eyes locked onto green ones.

The boy who was watching me got up and walked out of the sandbox, coming towards me, as he eyed my teddy curiously. I slowly tried to back away, but suddenly there was a cold stone wall behind me.

“I want to play with that.” the boy stated pointing at my teddy.

My eyes suddenly grew wide, as I looked at him and then at my teddy.

“But he’s mine.” I said, as my voice slightly began to shake. 

I watched as his smile only grew wider. He walked closer towards me and then tried to yank teddy out of my grasp. I started to yell, to tell him off, but the boy pushed me and I fell to the ground, with a loud thud.

I immediately started crying as I saw him running away with my teddy. I didn’t like him. I didn’t like the other children and I didn’t like this place. I wanted to go home and I wanted my teddy back!

Once my sobs calmed down, I pushed myself up on my feet again, wiping at my eyes, when I felt someone poke my shoulder. I turned my head and looked into bright green eyes, who were watching me with concern.

“Why are you crying?” the girl asked me.

“He… st… .“ I began as another sob racked through me and fresh tears started to spill out of my eyes again.

The girl stayed quiet, watching me worriedly, waiting for me to finish my sentence. I took a deep breath as I started to point at the mean boy and tried to stifle my sobs.

“He.. st… stole… m… my teddy… .”

The girls eyes followed my finger and then she just turned around and walked towards the boy. I wiped the tears from my eyes again, watching the girl. She poked his arm, like she had done to me just a minute ago and then she said something to him.

I watched as he furiously shook his head, but then the girl pointed at the teddy and back to me. I quickly looked at the ground, but then I heard the boy scream and my head snapped up again.

The girl had punched his arm and yanked my teddy out of his hands and when he started to protest I watched as she pushed him to the ground, like he had done to me. He began to cry furiously but the girl ignored him and walked back towards me, holding out my teddy with a bright smile.

I looked at her in awe and then jumped excitedly as I grabbed my teddy and hugged him tightly to my chest.

“Thank you!” I said happily, looking up into her green eyes. 

The girl nodded, before reaching out and readjusted the bow on my head.

“There… .” she said with another smile. 

“Whats your name?”

“Camila.”

“I’m Lauren.” she said, before taking my right hand in her own. I watched her shyly as I led her lead me towards our destination. I felt my cheeks turn red and a warmth in my chest that I had never felt before.

She lead us towards another group of girls. They were standing around in a circle socializing. I already felt overwhelmed, but then I felt her hand squeeze mine and it wasn’t so bad anymore.

Once we joined both of the other girls, I could see them welcome Lauren with a smile, but then their eyes fell on our hands and inevitably on me. I shyly looked at the ground.

“This is Camila, my new friend.” Lauren announced, making me quickly look up at her. Friend? Did Lauren really call me her new friend? I felt excited as a smile crept onto my lips and I forgot my misery for the fist time since I got here.

“Hello Camila.” both of the girls giggled. I shyly looked at them, recognizing the taller girl as the girl that had pushed another girl off the swing and quickly felt scared again, but then she walked up to me giving me a huge smile and punched my shoulder so hard that I stumbled slightly as she announced that her name is Dinah Jane.

I could see Lauren glare at her roughness with me but Dinah was still smiling brightly at me and didn’t even seemed to have noticed that she had used to much force. So I happily smiled back at her.

“I like your bow! I’m Normani.” the other girl said, also smiling at me as she reached out for my white bow, letting her fingers glide over the fabric before pulling back again giggling.

Lauren was about to say something but another group of boys and girls were running towards us and started throwing sand at us. I blinked and Normani and Dinah were already taking off after the other group yelling angrily and excitedly at the same time.

I started giggling at Dinah and Normani, as I looked at Lauren who was smiling at me.

Maybe kindergarten wasn’t going to be as bad as I had thought.


	2. The Sleepover

Camila's POV

I could hear the key turn in the lock of the front door and quickly got up, to run down the rest of the stairs that I had been waiting on for hours.

"Papá!"

"Ouuuuhh... Hey mi cariño." he laughed, lifting me onto his hips.

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. I had waited for him on those stairs for hours, to finally tell him about the new friends that I had made.

"So I'm guessing you have had a great time in kindergarten then?"

I leaned back and nodded at him enthusiastically, before burring my face back inside his neck. He let out a laugh and started to slowly rub my back. He walked us into the kitchen and greeted my mother with a quick peck to her lips.

"She has been waiting for you on those stairs for hours." I could hear mama say to him, as I could feel her leaving a quick kiss on the back of my head.

"Is that true?"

"Yes... she made new friends... ."

I suddenly felt embarrassed and tried to hide further in my Papá's neck, but nodded none the less.

"Why so shy now mija? You haven't stopped talking about Dinah, Normani and especially Lauren... all day."

When I heard my Mama talking about my friends I couldn't help but feel all warm and giddy inside. I felt my cheeks flush with warmth and started to giggle against my Papá's neck.

"All day its been Lauren said.. and Dinah did... ." My mama said dramatically, finally making me look at her red faced.

Both my parents started laughing loudly and I turned my attention back towards my Papá.

"Lauren taught me how to throw and aim a ball." I blurted out.

He looked at me expectantly and when he opened his mouth to say something I couldn't stop myself and started to ramble.

"... And then we decided to play ball, but Austin made fun of me, he is so mean! He kept laughing at the way I was running, but then Dinah punched his arm and he started to cry... and... and Lauren then made fun of him and.... and Lauren is really good at throwing, she threw the ball so far, that even Normani was impressed and Normani said she really liked my bow... And Lauren said that she wants to join the softball team... maybe I should join the softball team... ."

Once I had started, I couldn't stop anymore. Only talking about my new friends made me really happy and all tingly inside my tummy. I kept retelling my stories and even when I could tell that my Mama and Papá were barely paying attention anymore I still couldn't help myself.

At some point my Mama told me that it was bedtime, but for the first time I really wasn't upset at the prospect of having to go to bed so early. It only meant that I could see Lauren and the rest of my friends even sooner.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It had been 3 weeks since I had first started kindergarten and met my friends. I really had to admit that my Mama had been right. I really loved kindergarten. I even had no trouble with having to go to bed earlier because it only meant that I would get to see them quicker again. What I didn't like so much anymore were the weekends. That were 2 full days of me not seeing any of them. Even though I got to spent more time with my family, I couldn't deny how much I missed them only between those 2 days.

It was Friday and we were already waiting for our parents in the main hall. I watched as most of the other children were already leaving with one of their parents as I waited for my own Mama. Dinah's mother had already arrived and picked her up, Normani was sitting on the bench next to me waiting aswell. I watched as Laurens mother was sitting her down on another bench next to us and helped her get changed. I could feel a knot forming in my stomach, as I realized that I wasn't going to see them for another 2 days again.

"I'm sorry mija, I got held up." I could hear my mama say out of breath.

I was pulled out of my thoughts and looked up, only to see that I had completely missed that my Mama had already arrived. I quickly gave her a hug which she immediately reciprocated.

She pulled away to look into my eyes and opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by another voice behind us.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but you're Camila's mother?" the woman asked hesitantly.

"Thats right. You can call me Sinu."

"I'm Clara Jauregui, I'm Laurens mother." the woman replied, pointing at her daughter, who was sitting on the bench with her tongue sticking out, as she concentrated on tying her shoes.

"The girls are having a sleepover at our house today and I was wondering if Camila would like to join them. I know its quite late to ask this but Lauren had insisted." Clara finished off laughing slightly.

A sleepover? I never been to a sleepover before. I felt excitement take over my body, but when I looked up at my Mama, she was fidgeting with her jacket unsure. I quickly tugged on her arm, excitedly jumping up and down, to let her know that I really wanted to go. I felt so happy at the prospect at staying at Laurens with the other girls over the weekend.

"Uhm...I don't know... I ... have to... ."

I felt my hopes being crushed and tried to find Laurens eyes to show my disappointment only to see her having finished tying her shoelaces and making her way towards her mother. I watched as Lauren shyly looked up at mine.

"Can Camzi pleeeeaaasseeee come? We will behave and be really quiet and we'll go to bed when my Mommy tells us... ."Lauren began to plead as I watched her with adoring eyes.

My Mama exhaled loudly, looking at me. I was still smiling brightly at Lauren but quickly looked up trying to convince her with pleading eyes to let me go.

"Alright... ." she said defeated.

"Thank you Camz's Mom!" Lauren yelled as she looked at me, jumping up and down from excitement with a bright smile that I couldn't help but reciprocate immediately.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Since my mother had agreed to the sleepover I barely had been able to keep in my excitement. I never been to Laurens or the other girls house before, less than ever had a real sleepover.

I was sitting on my bed, swinging my legs back and forth and watched my Mama pack up all my stuff for the sleepover.

"When is Papà coming home?" I found myself asking impatiently.

"Sweety... he will be home when he is home."

"Buuuuut.... ."

"Camila!"

I let out a long annoyed breath, jumping of my bed. It was getting late and I didn't want to be late.

"Can you get me your toothbrush from the bathroom?" My Mother asked, caressing my cheek, to let me know that she was sorry, but there was nothing she could do. I nodded and hurried into the bathroom.

I wonder if the rest of the girls were already at Laurens or if they were late as well. I didn't want them to have to wait for me, but I had to wait until my Papà came back from work and I was getting more anxious by the minute.

At some point I had sat myself down on the foot of the stairs next to my rucksack to wait for him but it was already past 5.

I was close to tears now, thinking that I wasn't going to get to go at all, but then I heard a car pull into the driveway and waisted no more time. I grabbed my rucksack and swung it on my back and rushed for the door.

"Maaammmmaaaa, vamonos!" I yelled, making my way out of the door and towards the car.

It had turned out that Laurens home wasn't even that far away and when we arrived, the car had barely come to a stop and I had already unbuckled my seat and tried to open the door, which to my dismay had a child-lock installed.

"Camila!" my Mama scolded me for the second time today.

"We're late Mama... ." I tried, but my Mama had already exited the car and was opening the door for me. I didn't wait up for her but quickly ran to Laurens front door and rang the bell.

I looked behind me to see my Mama shaking her head at me, pulling my rucksack on her back. Then I heard the door being opened and Laurens Mother was smiling down at me.

„Hey Camila, we weren't sure if you would still show up."

I wanted to apologize, but I felt my Mama come up next to me, lightly squeezing my shoulder.

"I'm sorry we're late Clara. I had to wait for my husband, he had the car."

"Its alright." Clara laughed, waving her off.

"You be nice okay." My mama said, leaning down to me and wrapping me up in a tight hug.

She quickly kissed my cheek and then let me go, handing Clara my bag.

"Just go ahead, they are in the garden."

I quickly nodded, saying goodbye to my Mama and walked inside the house. Laurens home was so pretty and big, it almost took my breath away. I wanted to look around but decided to check it out later, my first priority was the get to the girls.

When I had made it into the garden I could see the girls playing soccer with who I assumed was Laurens dad. I could see that they had made makeshift goals with water bottles. Dinah was standing in between one, while Lauren was hanging of from the mans neck and Normani tried to get the ball around the big man to shoot a goal.

They were all laughing loudly and having fun. I stopped and watched not sure how to interrupt them but then I heard Dinah yell.

"Mila! Come help us!"

Suddenly all heads turned to me and my face turned red.

"Oh nooo! You're already winning. Thats unfair. I get Camila on my team." I heard the man laugh, as he lifted Lauren from his neck and put her down.

I suddenly stopped in my tracks. I wanted to be on the girls team, but then the man came up to me and smiled brightly.

"Do you want to be on my team? With you, we can totally win against those losers. What do you think?"

I looked at the girls unsure, but then I saw Lauren nodding encouragingly and Dinah shaking her had yelling loudly that there was no way we could win and I could hear Normani laughing somewhere behind him.

"Oookay." I answered him and he gave me a high five.

"Oh Im Mike by the way." he said, walking back and putting the ball in the middle of the field.

I walked towards him and positioned myself in front of the ball like Mike was telling me to and watched as Normani took the stand opposite me.

"We're totally gonna crush you." Dinah yelled from the goal she was protecting.

I heard Mike yell something and suddenly Normani side stepped me with the ball and ran. I was left shocked as she was running towards our goal and I quickly tried to run after her, but Mike had managed to get the ball and passed it to me.

It rolled against my foot and I started to struggle to simultaneously kick the ball and run with it.

"Gooo Camila! Its only Dinah, she couldn't hold that goal if her life depended on it." Mike yelled behind me laughing.

"Thats only your jealously talking." Dinah fired back.

I was making my way closer towards the goal but then I felt a body collide with mine and I lost my footing trying to stay up, I quickly held onto the body, but we both went down.

Lauren was laughing on top of me, as she tried to squirm out of my arms to get to the ball. I quickly sat up and grabbed her legs causing her to fall forward again, chuckling.

"Heeey... Dinah! Heeeelp." Lauren laughed, while I tried to hold her down and get to the ball first.

When I had finally pushed myself up and tried to kick the ball Dinah was already in front of me, but before I could do anything Laurens arms engulfed me from behind, restricting me from further movement.

"Looo your a cheater!" I yelled laughing, as we were falling back to the ground.

"Gooo Dinah!" Lauren laughed as Dinah was making her way towards the goal and I watched as she scored another point for their team.

"You're such cheaters... ." I heard Mike say as he helped me and Lauren up again.

"Noo, you're just a sore loser." Lauren said, sticking out her tongue at him.

"What did you say?" Mike said dramatically and made a run for her and Lauren started screaming and ran away from him laughing.

Within 2 seconds Mike had Normani clinging to his right and Dinah clinging to his left leg, as he still tried to go after Lauren who had stopped running and started taunting him.

"Camila! I'm your teammate you need to back me up."

I laughed but complied as I started to run at Lauren, who looked at me shocked but quickly took off again.

"I thought you were on my side." Lauren yelled giggling at me.

I ran as fast as I could, but Lauren was faster. I suddenly tripped over my own feet and fell forward onto the grass scraping my knees.

"Ouch." I yelled and Lauren quickly looked back at me. I checked my shin for the injury, feeling it burn on my skin.

"Are you okay?" I suddenly heard Laurens concerned voice next to me. I quickly darted forward and held onto her legs laughing.

"I got her."

I saw Laurens eyes go wider. "You tricked me."

I wanted to shake my head, but Mike was next to me now and leaned down towards his daughter.

"Told you we would win." he said laughing. Lauren laughed too and quickly tried to free herself from my embrace, but Mike held her and tickled her and she started to laugh uncontrollably, making me and the other girls laugh aswell.

"Mike... girls? Dinner is ready." I could hear a womans voice yell.

Within seconds Normani and Dinah ran towards where the voice was coming from and Lauren was still lying on the floor trying to control her breathing.

Mike laughed at her and quickly got up, giving my shoulder a light squeeze, before making his way inside as well.

I waited for Lauren to get up, her face was still red from all the laughing. She dusted off her cloths and when she finally looked at me, I waisted no more time and quickly took a step forward giving her a tight hug.

Lauren laughed again, reciprocating my hug instantly.

"I thought you weren't going to come." Lauren suddenly confessed when I let her go.

"I had to wait for my Papá to drive me." I said, looking down at the ground, but then I felt her hand grasp mine and I quickly looked up at her again.

"I'm hungry lets go eat." She said, leading me towards her home.

The other girl were already sitting around the table with Mike who began to cut the pizza into peaces.

My eyes grew even wider, I love pizza. I could feel Lauren let go of my hand and watched as she quickly ran to the seat next to her father.

I looked around to see that the only free space was next to Dinah and Laurens mother and sat down.

"Are you having fun?" Clara asked me, placing a piece of pizza on the plate in front of me.

I quickly nodded my head and smiled back at her.

"I'm next." Dinah yelled pushing her plate in front my face, indicating for Clara that she wanted the next piece of pizza.

"Dinah." I chuckled as I pushed her hand away from my face.

"Hey you should have been served last, since you lost and I won the game." DJ exclaimed proudly.

"We won the game." Normani interjected.

"Whatever."

"Yea only because you cheated." Mike said, biting into his own pizza.

"You cheated first."

"Did not." I said in between bites.

"Did!"

"Girls!" Clara interjected warningly and silencing all of us at once.

After all of the pizza was gone we all went to wash our hands and proceeded to go into the TV room. Mike turned on the TV and put on some cartoons that I had never seen before. I quickly snuggled up to Dinah who was sitting next to me, while Normani and Lauren were sitting only inches in front of the TV with their faces practically glued to the screen.

I don't know for how long we were watching TV, but at some point I must have drifted off. I was startled when I heard Claras voice cut loudly through the room.

"Okay girls... I think its time for bed. Go brush your teeth."

Dinah started groaning and pushing me off of her. I fell down on the ground with a loud thud and everybody started to giggle at me.

"Heeey."

"Sorry chancho." she laughed and quickly helped me up again.

I followed the girls into the bathroom and after we were done brushing our teeth we all walked upstairs to Laurens room. Dinah quickly started running and jumped into Laurens bed, quickly spreading her arms and legs out.

"Mine losers."

"Scoot DJ." Lauren said annoyed also climbing onto her bed.

I was left standing in the door frame and watched Normani getting into the makeshift bed on the floor next to Laurens bed.

"You can lay down next to Normani, Im going to get another set of pillows and blankets, Ill be right back." Clara said smiling at me and pointing to the mattress.

I quickly thanked her and made my way into my "bed".

We kept talking, until Clara came back with the blankets and handed them to me.

"Its time to sleep girls." Clara said, as she made her way towards the bed and kissed Lauren goodnight. She reached out for Dinah and then she ruffled Normani and my hair.

"Night girls."

"Night Mrs Jauregui." Normani said already sleepily and began to crawl under her blankets.

"Night Mom."

"Night Laurens Mom."

"Goodnight." I said, watching her turn of the last source of light and closing the door behind her, drowning the room in complete darkness. The room that had been warm and lit up moments ago, now felt dark and scary. I could only see the moonlight shining in from the window, as it was creating moving shapes on the ceiling above. It was like monsters were free to roam Laurens room and I suddenly felt scared.

Usually when I got scared I would crawl into my parents bed and cuddle up to them and the monsters would go away, but that wasn't an option. Everything seemed unfamiliar and scary now.

I moved slowly to look around. Normani was laying next to me and seemed to have entered her own land of dreams already. When I turned to look up on the bed, all I could see was blankets and two dark figures.

I let out a shaky breath, trying to calm my nerves. I laid down again, pulling up my blankets and curling in into them as a source of protection. The problem was the more I tried to calm down the more anxious I got. I could see the shapes on the ceiling moving faster and more prominently as my eyes got more used to the darkness and I couldn't help the tears that were forming inside my eyes.

I was so scared that I barely even dared to move an inch. I let out another shaky breath as I was unable to hold back the sob that raked through my body. I started to quietly cry, desperately hoping that everybody was already asleep.

"Camz?" I heard a raspy, sleep ridden voice ask.

I began to hold my breath and tried to stop my tears. I didn't want to let Lauren see that I was scared, maybe she wouldn't invite me anymore and I have had so much fun today. I didn't want to risk it, so I pressed my eyes close and held my breath.

"Camila?" I heard her say with more concern now. I could hear her shift in her bed, before I felt a hand touching my shoulder.

"Heey, why are you crying?"

I was wrong. I couldn't fool Lauren into believing that I was okay. I took a deep breath before turning towards her with red eyes and letting out more sobs.

"I'm sorry."

"Whats wrong?"

I quickly shrugged, not wanting to admit that I was scared, but I saw her shuffle in her bed again.

"Come here."

I sniffed, wiping my eyes as I looked up at her. I could only make out her dark silhouette that was holding up her blanket.

"Its okay Camz. Come here." she tried again.

This time I complied and slowly removed my blanket and got up, crawling into bed next to her. There wasn't much space left, since Dinah was already occupying the other half of the bed.

Lauren didn't wait to draw me into her arms. I quickly cuddled up to her and she began to carres my hair. I closed my eyes and only focused on Laurens fingers that were stroking through my hair.

"Are you going to tell me whats wrong?"

"Its stupid."

Lauren leaned back a little to look at me, but I quickly pressed her closer again.

"Its just... I never been to a sleepover before and I don't know... I got scared."

Lauren let out a small laugh, making me feel embarrassed right away.

"Im sorry."

"Its alright Camzi, I get scared sometimes too." she admitted and now it was my turn to lean back to look at her.

"Really?"

"Yes."

I searched her face for a lie, but I couldn't find anything but sincerity.

"Go to sleep now." she said, as she pulled me back in and continued running her fingers through my hair, until I finally fell asleep, feeling nothing but warm and save.


	3. Is this goodbye?

Camila's POV

Normani, Dinah, Lauren and I became inseparable. We would spent all of out time together. I had to admit though, when it came to Lauren and me, I felt like we had something even deeper, something even more special.

Since our first sleepover together at Laurens house, all our parents had agreed to make the sleepovers a regular occurrence. Every second week, all of us would spent the weekend at either one of our houses.

The next sleepover had been at Normani's house. I was having so much fun up until the point we were told to go to bed. I had to sleep on the couch alone and inevitably had gotten scared again.

Dinah and Lauren were in the same room as me and were sharing the guest-bed, like they had done before I had become their friend.

I was laying curled up on the sofa and it hadn't taken long, until I could feel the slow cold, creep of fear settling inside my chest. My body was shivering uncontrollably, as I desperately pressed my eyes close, trying to focus on anything but the scary darkness that was surrounding me.

I tightened the hold on my blanket, hugging it closer to my body, when I felt a hand on my shoulderblade. A thumb was rubbing soothing circles on my shoulder and only now I realized that I was crying. I turned to look up, only to be met by a dark figure standing above me, peering down. I instantly know its Lauren.

"Come on." I heard her whisper, before she turned around and crawled back under her covers of the guest-bed, holding them up for me to slip in next to her. This time I didn't need to be told twice. I quickly got up and made my way to the guest-bed, slipping under the blanket that Lauren was holding up for me. Once I had settled down in the bed, I snuggled into the Cuban's warm, protective arms, burring my head against her chest.

From that point on, I crawled into Laurens bed every night. Only when we would stay at my house, it was her who would crawl into mine. We had gotten so routined in it, that neither one of us could go to sleep without the other, when we stayed at someone else's home.

All the girls had become a huge part of my life, especially Lauren and I kept growing impossibly closer to one another.

Lauren helped me with my English and drawing skills and I took the blame when she wrote "Fart!" with permanent marker all over the walls. She talked excitedly abouts sports and books that her mother was reading to her, as I listened and encouraged her to keep going. She always laughed at my jokes, even if nobody else did. She always had my back and I had hers.

I felt like our connection was on a deeper level than the one I had with everyone else around me. For me, Lauren was the apple to my pie, the peanut to my jelly, the banana to my spaghettis.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Halloween - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The streets were bustling with kids and parents all dressed up for Trick-or-Treating. It was my first real Halloween and needless to say I was overly enthusiastic. There was something about putting on costumes and pretending to be someone else that excited me.

In the beginning the three of us had decided that we'd go as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but when we told Normani about our plan, she had been outraged at the idea and refused because she wanted to go as a princess and nothing was going to stop her from doing so.

In the end we decided that three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with a princess wasn't going to work out and decided against it. Dinah ended up dressing as a witch, Lauren and I had decided to still go as something together, but the best thing we could come up with at such short notice, was me as a ghost and Lauren as the skeleton, that I had left behind.

The next few hours had passed quickly and our bags were filled up to the prim with candy. My feet hurt from all the walking and I decided that I needed a break and sat down on a curb. I took off one of my shoes and massaged my hurting foot. The girls noticed that I had sat down and started to gather around me also looking more than a little worn out.

"Lets go home." Normani groaned.

"Yeah! I'm hungry."

"DJ you literally ate half of your bag of sweets already... how are you still hungry?"

Dinah shrugged her shoulders indifferently, throwing one of her candy-bars at Lauren.

"Whatever."

"My feet hurt." I huffed out, pouting up at Lauren.

"Then leets gooo... I'm soooo hungry... ." Dinah whined.

"And I'm tired... ." Normani added, jumping up and down impatiently.

I groaned annoyed at the tall Polynesian and Normani, slipping my shoe back on and pushing myself up from the curb. Lauren appeared right by my side, squadding down.

"Hop on!"

"What?" I laughed, looking at Laurens backside.

"Hop on." Lauren repeated, turning her head slightly to look back at me; "I'll carry you."

I lifted an eyebrow at her, unable to keep the smile off my face as I hopped up onto Laurens back, lifting my legs around her waist and wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

"Are you okay?" I asked giggling, but concerned that I was to heavy for her.

"Yea... I'm fine, just let your bones carry your spirit." Lauren said cheerfully, as she bounced and adjusted her grip on my tights. I smiled down at her even though I knew she couldn't see me and rested my chin on top of her head.

"Lets go losers!"

Normani groaned annoyed at Dinah, shoving her by her shoulders, as we began to make our way back. On our way to Normani's house, Dinah decided to start a 'who can eat more' challenge and neither one of us wanted to back out. I opened some of my chocolate-bars and fed them to Lauren, as she was busy carrying me and couldnt take part. Once we arrived, we all felt sick to out stomachs.

We all went right for the TV-room. Lauren and I dropped down on the couch, holding our stomachs, while Normani dropped on one of the other free chairs and Dinah just laid down on the floor, rolling around dramatically holding her tummy as well.

Once we heard Normani's father enter the house, we heard her mother scolding him for not stopping us eating so much candy, but to his defense he had been busy the whole night with an important phone-call only staying in eyesight to make sure we were save.

"Lets watch the Halloween special!" Normani said, reaching out for the remote and started to skip through the channels on the TV.

"Uuuuuugh! I think I'm gonna to die!" Dinah groaned, still holding her stomach and rolling around on the floor.

"I told you the whole challenge thing was stupid... ." Lauren laughed, stretching out next to me, patting her own stomach.

"Yea well... That isn't helping me now is it?"

We all laughed at her and Dinah continued to frown at us. Normani finally stopped her skipping through channels settled on something.

"Halloween special it is."

I groaned annoyed, as we started watching Goof Troop's Halloween episode. I never before had watched a scary cartoon, much less a scary movie. I didn't know what I was expecting from it, but only after 10 minutes into the episode I was already scared to my core. They really were driving home with the scary music and the dark theme of the episode.

I was shivering from fear and I was glad that I had a blanket that I could hide my face behind.

"Are you scared?" I heard Lauren whisper, smirking knowingly at me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head no, slowly lowering the blanket and looking back at the screen, only to immediately draw the blanket over my face again, covering it effectively from the scary image on screen.

I felt Lauren let out an inaudible laugh next to me, before I felt her hand reach out over towards mine and intertwining our fingers. I slowly looked up at her, but she was looking at the screen again, with her smirk still in place. I contemplated for a second, but then I slid closer and snuggled up to her, hiding my face inside her shoulder while she brought an protective arm around me, pulling me closer.

The rest of the episode was still scary but now that I had Lauren protecting me, it wasn't as bad as it had been before. We had finished Goof Troop and continued with the Ducky Horror Picture Show followed by Doug's Halloween Adventure.

"I can't believe Patti has no idea that Doug has a crush on her... I mean, he is so obvious." Normani said reaching out for another candy-bar.

"Patti likes him too, thats why she doesn't realize it. Its like you and Arin... ." Dinah stated, as she turned on her back to face all of us; "Oh my god, how can you still eat that stuff? ...Haven't you learned anything?"

Normani only laughed at her, biting into her snickers bar dramatically and chewing open mouthed, making Dinah quickly look away and imitate gagging noises.

"Arin is alright, but I don't like him like that... and he doesn't like like me either."

"What? See. Thats what I mean. You both are blind because you both like each other. He even lets you wear his snapback... thats... thats... like... ." Dinah thought for a moment, trying to think of a good comparison; "... that would be like Mila over here, sharing her bananas with someone.. it just doesn't happen."

"Uhm... DJ? Mila shared her bananas with Lauren all the time... ."

"Yea but Lauren is like Mila's white knight, plus she is a girl... so she doesn't count."

"True, but that destroys your theory though."

"No it doesn't!" Dinah protested crossing her arms defyingly.

Normani rolled her eyes at the Polynesian, before looking back at Lauren and me.

"Anyway.. Speaking of Mila and Lauren... Do you have any crushes on anyone, I know Dinah likes Jarryed, but thats like no secret." Normani said, shuffling on the sofa and letting her head hang over the edge, looking at us with interest.

I could feel Lauren looking at me, Dinah uncrossed her arms interestedly as my whole face turned bright red.

"Do you?" I heard Lauren asking next to me.

"Oh my god she does!" Dinah exclaimed excitedly from the floor.

"Uhhm, no... No I don't." I stammered out, leaning away from Lauren and pulling my legs towards me, hugging them uncomfortably.

"What about you Laur?" Normani asked, and I was relived to have the attention shifted away from me.

"I don't know." Lauren said, shrugging her shoulders.

"What? Lo I totally thought you like Logan." Normani exhaled shocked.

"I mean, he is kind of cute I guess, but I do... ."

"You would make a really cute couple though." Dinah cut her off.

"I don't know." Lauren answered shrugging, before glancing back at me. "Lets talk about something else."

I didn't know why, but my chest felt tight and I could barely breathe. Did Lo have a crush on this Logan? Why didn't she tell me? Weren't we best friends? Shouldn't best friends share this sort of information? I felt like all air was pilled out of my lungs. An incredibly heavy sadness was taking me over. I brought a shaking hand up, to brush a strand of hair behind my ear, when I spotted Dinah's curious eyes boring into me.

"I'm tired." I quickly exclaimed, pushing myself up from my position the couch. I heard Normani agreeing with me in the background but I didn't care, I just needed to get away from Dinah's penetrating stare, as I quickly made my way towards the bathroom. I quickly steadied myself on the sink, turning on the water and splashing some on my face. What was going on with me? Why was I suddenly feeling like this? I don't understand. I splashed my face again, but heard the girls making their way towards the bathroom and I quickly grabbed my toothbrush and began brushing.

I was laying on the couch, curled up in my blanket as Dinah and Lauren shared the bed opposite me. I was wide awake and for the first time I wasn't scared in the darkness that surrounded me. I actually found a sort of comfort in it. I couldn't understand what was going on with me and why I felt like there was a heavy weight resting on my chest, suffocating me. Millions of thoughts were clouding my mind and I didn't know how to stop them from coming in. I shifted around on the sofa a couple of times, never finding any sort of comfort.

After a moment I took a deep breath and turned on my back, trying to listen to the silence around me. I listened to Dinah's breathing even out and I knew she was asleep. That usually was my cue to skip from the couch into Laurens bed, but today I wasn't sure if I wanted to. No, I definitely wanted to, but I wasn't sure if she would want me there, but before I knew what I was doing my body acted on complete autopilot and I slipped into the bed next to her.

Usually I would curl up into her right away and she would put her arm around me and we would fall asleep almost immediately. Today I couldn't. I was laying on my side, facing her and I felt her shuffle a little closer, but not close enough for us to be touching. She hadn't said anything, but I could feel her eyes studying me in the darkness.

We lay like that for a while and no one said anything. I began to wonder if she maybe had fallen asleep, but then I felt her move again and suddenly I felt Laurens breaths ghost over my face and I took a sharp breath in, holding it. My chest constricted again and I wondered why my body was reacting like this, but my thoughts were interrupted.

"Camz?"

I stared at the girl opposite me wide eyed, still holding my breath, I nodded slowly. I took me a moment to realize that she couldn't actually see me because of the darkness of the room.

"Hmm?"

I listened to Lauren taking in a deep breaths, before releasing it again. She started fidgeting with something but then let out another deep sigh. I wondered what was on her mind, did she maybe not want me here, in her bed, next to her? What if she...

"Have I done something wrong?" Laurens raspy voice interrupted my train of thoughts again and this time she caught me completely of guard. Why would she even think she had done anything wrong?

"What do you mean Lo?" I whispered back confused.

It took her longer to respond this time and it made me feel even more anxious. What was going on? Why would she think she had done anything?

"You didn... you... its.. nothing... . Its nothing. Forget it." Lauren started to mumble, but then turned around. I was starring holes into the back of her head, wondering what Lauren tried to tell me, but then, when I was about to ask, I watched her dark figure turning towards me again, releasing another breath.

"Camz?"

"Yes Lo?"

"You know I don't like Logan like that right? I don't have a crush on him." Lauren clarified in a whisper.

A smile started to spread on my lips as I took her words in. I released a breath that I didn't know I was still holding and a weight seemed to lift off of my chest at her words. I didn't respond for a moment as I felt that strange feeling slowly vanish and being replaced by the familiar warmth that was always there when I was with the green eyed girl.

"Okay."

Suddenly the barrier that I seemed to have built between us was gone and immediately I closed the distance between us and snuggled up to Lauren, tugging my head under her chin and resting my arm around her stomach, digging my cold feet under Laurens legs, like I always did.

Lauren winced, tensing for a second but then she relaxed again.

"Why do you always have such cold feet?" she asked in a accusatory tone, but I could sense that she was smiling. I shrugged and giggled into her chest.

I felt Laurens hand slowly making its way to my waist, as she brought her other arm around me, her thumb rubbing circles on my back. She released another sigh, burring her face inside my hair and we fell asleep almost instantly.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 17 Months later - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In only 1 month, we are going to enter primary school. We were beyond excited to experience that together. We already made plans to share every class and Lauren and I made a pact to partner up for every projects the teachers would throw at us. Another good thing was that I didn't need to worry about not fitting in. I would have my friends by my side and thats all I would need.

It was Thursday and we were currently hanging out at Laurens. Lauren was laying on her bed, looking through a magazine, with Normani sitting by her side, commenting on some things she liked, while painting her nails. Dinah was playing music on her Walkman and was loudly singing along with it. I had decided to go downstairs and find some food.

I was making my way down the stairs to the kitchen and looked around. The Jauregui's house was huge and so fancy, every time I was walking through it, it felt like the first time all over again. Just before I rounded the corner to the kitchen, I came to an unexpected halt, as I heard Laurens parents talking to one another.

"...arrived today. I really hope Lauren will like it in California.... ." I could hear Clara trail of.

"Don't worry honey. Everything is just going to work out just fine. She will fit right in."

What did they mean California? Were they going on a vacation? Why hadn't Lauren said anything? I shrugged it off and made my way inside the kitchen. Once inside, I watched Mike and Clara exchanged quick looks after their eyes fell on me.

"Hey Camila, you hungry?" Mike asked knowingly and I answered him with a nod.

He chuckled and Clara handed me a banana from the shelve. "Thanks." I smiled at her and made my way back upstairs, meeting Normani and Dinah on my way up.

"See you tomorrow Mila." Dinah yelled, as she pushed past me, before yelling a quick 'bye' to Laurens parents, rushing out of the door.

I raised my eyebrows at her and Normani came down and stopped next to me.

"Her Mom is here to pick us up. We are getting McDonald's." Normani said chuckling as she said her goodbye's' as well and followed Dinah out of the door.

I smiled and shook my head, walking up the rest of the stairs, back into Laurens room.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, bursting through the door excited for Lauren. She was still laying on her bed, reading the magazine. Her head shot up confused and she gave me a questioning look.

"You know... that your going on vacation to California."

Suddenly Laurens face was drained of all color, she gulped and put her magazine to the side, shuffling to the edge of the bed to sit down.

"How do you know about that?" She asked slowly, not meeting my eyes.

"I heard your parents talk about it in the kitchen."

"I'm not going on vacation Camz." the green eyed girl mumbled, getting seemingly more interested in her carpet.

Now I was the one who was confused. I walked a little closer towards her, sensing that something was wrong.

"But I just heard your parents talk about it."

Lauren cleared her throat, looking anywhere but at me, when she slowly spoke up again.

"Yes, I'm going to California... ." Lauren took a deep breath in before shaking her head and saying; "But not for vacation."

"What does that mean?" I asked furrowing my brow, feeling my stomach twisting into knots, having a pretty good idea what it meant.

I needed Lauren to confirm my suspicion, but she stayed silent, only looking down and fidgeting with her fingers. I never in all the time we had spent together seen her like that.

"Well, when do you leave?" I tried to ask, feeling a familiar sting in my eyes.

"In 2 weeks."

"But... but thats like only one week before school starts. When are you coming back?"

Lauren took a long moment to respond, but eventually she inhaled deeply, looking at me with red eyes.

"I'm not."

"What?" I asked, taking a step back, as I felt my world crushing in on me.

"I'm not coming back."

"That's not funny Laur... ."I said, feeling a tear run down my cheek, desperately hoping this was all some sort of joke.

"Camz... My dad is being transferred and we're leaving in two weeks, so I can start school with everyone else and wont be the "new girl". " Lauren explained, looking back at the ground.

"But... What about us? We had a pact Lo! We have been talking about school and how we wanted to share classes and you ... did you know? How long have you known?" I yelled angrily, tears now freely falling from my eyes. I couldn't believe that Lauren would betray me like that.

"Only a week. They didn't know how to tell me and... well I didn't know how to tell you, but I guess that doesn't matter anymore, since you already know. I don't want any of this Camz." Lauren explained, taking a step towards me, reaching out for my hands, as her red eyes met mine. I could see tears forming inside her beautiful green eyes and her face turned red with embarrassment.

I shook my head, taking another step back, feeling slightly dizzy, I brought up a hand to my head and rubbed my temples. Lauren was going to leave me. We had so many plans together. She couldn't leave! She was my best friend! My vision was tunneling and every muscle in my body was strung like a bow.

"Then don't." I choked out, tears still streaming down my red face.

"Camz... ."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how to." Lauren started sobbing, waking towards me again. "Believe me when I tell you that I don't want to go!"

For a second I wondered when she would have told me if I hadn't found out on accident. Would she even have told me? Realizing what I was thinking, I locked the thought up far, far away.

I started full on sobbing now, my body was shaking and I felt Laurens arms engulfing me and pulling me into a tight embrace. I needed a second to reciprocate the hug, but then I held onto her, like my life depended on it.

"Please, stay with me." I desperately whispered into her shoulder.

"I wish I could Camz. But I don't have a choice." I heard her mumble, but her arms started to hold me tighter.

\- - - - - - - - - - 2 Weeks later - - - - - - - - - - The Airport - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Since I had found out that Lauren was leaving, the last two weeks had been the hardest of my life.

My Mama had offered to drive Dinah, Normani and me to the airport to say our goodbye's and watch Lauren boarding her flight to another life. The whole drive to the airport, I had felt miserable. Knowing exactly what was going to happen, once I would get out of the car. Knowing that I probably will never see my best friend again.

The Jauregui's were already expecting us and started waving to get our attention. We were already a little later than expected, because we had gotten stuck in traffic.

"Oh thank god... I wasn't sure if we had made it in time." My mama laughed, pushing us towards the Jauregui's.

Clara just laughed and waved her off, embracing her in a hug.

"You're just on time. We have 10 minutes until they will let us board."

"Sooo... I guess this is goodbye Lauser?" Dinah said uncomfortably, failing horribly at her attempt to smile at the other girl.

"I guess so." Lauren just said, looking at the ground.

"We will miss you so much!" Normani bursted out crying and throwing her arms around Lauren, embracing her in a crushing hug, sobbing into the green eyed girls shirt.

After a moment Lauren pulled away and took Normani and Dinah's hands, leading them a little further off. She left me standing with my Mama and her parents. I gulped, what about me? Was she not saying goodbye to me? Wasn't I her best friend? I watched as Lauren spoke to everyone alone after that, leaving me at last. Once she finished hugging Dinah goodbye, she looked up at me.

Already I was anxious and for a moment I wondered if she will not say goodbye to me at all, but then she walked towards me and took a hold of my wrist, pulling me to the side a little away from everyone else.

"I'm really gonna miss you Camz." She said, and I noticed there were already tears in her eyes.

I couldn't seem to find my voice, so I took a hold of her hand and nodded my head.

"I cant loose you Camz! You're my best friend! I don't even know what I'm going to do without you... ." she chocked and a sob raked through her and I immediately wanted to hug her, but she held out her free hand and signaled me to wait.

"I don't want to loose you Camz so... so I ... ." Lauren started and with her free hand she reached into her jacket pocket and retrieved a small rectangular wrapped box with a thin white bow. It was a present. I swallowed hard, I didn't get her anything.

"Lauren... hurry up we need to go." Mike yelled at us, gathering their luggage. Lauren looked back at him, before nodding and giving me all her attention again.

"I want to be friends with you forever, even if we're not in the same state. I want you to have something that reminds you of that."

She held out the package towards me, but I shook my head at her, ignoring the present.

"I don't have anything for you."

"That doesn't matter Camila! I want you to have it, its a reminder."

"I don't need this to remember you." I said stubbornly.

She gave me a small smile, but then let go of my hand and pressed the package into it. "Just take it already. And only open it once I'm on the plain.

"But I don't have anything for you." I repeated ashamed.

"Thats okay." Lauren laughed slightly at my stubbornness, wiping at the tears in her eyes.

"No." I said, looking around, trying to come up with something. It took me a second but then I had the perfect idea. I handed the present back to her and reached up to undo my Bow. Once it was out of my hair, I took the present back and held out my Bow for her.

"Camz... I can't take that." She breathed out softly, looking at the Bow in my hands.

"Of course you can!"

"But... Its your favorite."

I rolled my eyes, shoving it into her hands. "This is your reminder of me. So you'll never forget me." I said, smiling through my tears.

"Wait! I almost forgot."

Lauren stared back at me confused, as I went through my pockets, looking for the paper slip that had my phone number written on it.

"Aah! There it is." I handed her the slip and she took it, looking down, she needed a moment to understand.

"Its my phone number... so you can call me once you arrived and you know... when you want to talk."

Lauren smiled brightly at me, taking a step forward and throwing her arms around my shoulders and burring her face inside my neck. I brought my arms around her waist, pressing her closer to me, as she cried into my shoulder.

"Wh...y... di... didn't... I ... th.. ii...nk oo...ff that?" she choked out, hugging me even tighter, holding onto me like I was her lifeline.

"Laaaaauren! We. need. to. Go... NOW." Clara yelled, coming up to us, but we didn't stop hugging.

"I don't want to go." I heard Lauren sobbing into my shoulder.

"Camila! Its time... ." I heard my Mama say softly, but I ignored her.

"Lauren!"

"Okay.. come on Lauren." Mike said, taking a hold if his daughter trying to force us apart, but we only held onto each other tighter. I closed my eyes, hoping this was just some sort of nightmare that we would wake up from any second from now.

"I'm sorry." I heard my Mama say and suddenly there was a pair of arms wrapping around me from behind, pulling me away from Laurens embrace. I felt Lauren being pulled into the other direction and once I opened my eyes, I saw Mike in the same position around Lauren, like my Mama was behind me.

"No please! Pleeeeease .... I don't want to .. please... ." I heard Lauren yell through her sobs.

I starred at her wide eyed, still trying to reach out to her. I watched as Laurens cries intensified and I realized that I never saw Lauren cry before.

I was on the verge of breaking down, as I watched Mike literally dragging Lauren into the check-in hall, but then I felt my Mama's arms around me holding me even tighter.

"Mija... you need to be strong for Lauren now. Don't make this harder on both of you, its not going to change anything."

I let her words sink in for a moment and tried to swallow my own misery. I tried to ignore the tight knot that had formed inside my stomach, as I plastered a hurting smile on my red face and waved my hand 'goodbye' at Lauren. Her green eyes stayed pleadingly on mine, until Mike dragged her around the corner to the boarding gate and I couldn't see her anymore.

In that moment the sobs finally took over and I collapsed in my mothers arms crying. She lifted me up and said something to the girls as they started to walk back to the car.

Once we were back inside the car, I was reminded of the present Lauren had gifted to me and reached inside my pocket to pull it out. I looked at the rectangular box and removed the strap with the thin white bow. I took a deep breath and opened it.

It was a black bracelet. I took it out and looked at it. At first glance you would think it was just a hair tie, but it wasnt. It was a little stiffer and fell more loosely. I turned it around in my fingers and saw that it had an inscription on it. "Forever." I smiled looking down at it and all I could think was that this was so Lauren.

I quickly put it on and looked at it again, before sadness overtook my emotions and I began to cry uncontrollably. Dinah pulled me into her right away stiffling her own cries as she slowly rubbed my back. 

"Why didn't we get any presents?" I heard Dinah say a little annoyed, but once I looked up at her, she was smiling down at me and then looked back at the bracelet.

I turned my face back into her shoulder and continued to sob, until my body was slowly calming down. I wondered if I would ever get to see those beautiful green eyes ever again.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


	4. The hurting

Camila's POV 

The next days dragged along slowly as I waited for Lauren's phone call. I hadn't heard anything from her yet and with each passing day I grew more concerned.

When I wasn't eating or sleeping, I was sitting on the stairs next to the phone, anxiously waiting for her to call. I stared at the clock several times and at one point it seemed like the time had stopped altogether. I was left wondering if she maybe had already forgotten about me. I was brought out of my pondering by a knock on the doorframe.

"Mija, how long have you been sitting here for?"

"Mama?" I asked, ignoring her question altogether, "Why hasn't Lauren called yet?"

I watched her as her eyes got softer and she walked over towards me and sat down.

"There could be all kinds of reasons why she hasn't called yet. Maybe the phones in her house haven't been activated yet... Don't worry my sweet girl, she will call." She said with determination and ran a hand through my hair. "Now, lets eat dinner."

I nodded sadly, looking up at her as she planted a kiss on top of my head and gave me a warm smile. I hoped that she was right and that Lauren just couldn't, rather than wouldn't want to call me.

The rest of the week I tried to distract myself, not wanting to worry more than I already had. I spent most of my time over at Dinah's but as much as I had tried to keep my mind off a certain someone, I just couldn't.

On Monday Preschool started and it served as an all-to-painful reminder of what I had lost. The only thing that I was glad about, was that I had Dinah and Normani by my side.

I hadn't expected it, but my first day had been really exciting and for a while I was able to keep my mind off of a certain Cuban girl. I had met new people and even made a new friend. His name was Shawn and even though he talked a lot, he seemed like a really nice boy.

When the school day finally came to an end, I quickly hurried home. I knew that Lauren had her first day as well today and I wanted to know what it was like for her. She still hadn't called yet, but I had a feeling that it would finally happen today.

My enthusiasm was boundless, I couldn't wait to tell Lauren about my first day and about the picture I had drawn for her. It looked awful but I knew she would pretend to like it nonetheless. I was hoping that she was as eager as I was to share my first experiences of Preschool with her. Once I arrived at home I quickly hurried into the kitchen, hopefully looking up at my mother, but when she looked back at me, she only shook her head.

"I'm sorry Mija."

And with those three little words my world was being crushed again. I looked at the floor in despair. I couldn't understand why she just wouldn't call. I nodded in acknowledgment, before I turned around and walked upstairs to lay down in my bed.

Hours had passed, when there was a knock on my door. "Karla? Can I come in?"

"Sure." I said, turning around in my bed to look at my father, who was making his way inside my room.

"How was your first day?" He asked with a bright smile as he sat down next to me.

I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it. It somehow felt wrong to tell him or anyone before I had shared everything with Lauren, but somehow I knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

I could feel his eyes studying me and after a moment he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a side hug.

"You miss her don't you?"

I buried my head in his chest and nodded, trying to stifle the impending sobs. Of course I missed her, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't.

He ran a hand through my hair, before leaning back and asking, "Do you want to play ball outside?"

I knew what he was doing and even though I really didn't want to, I nodded. Lauren and I used to play ball all the time and she always told me that I was getting good enough to try out for softball with her. I never told her that I really didn't care about the sport, I just participated so I could spent more time with her.

 

After 15 minutes of throwing the ball back and forth, my father finally gave up.

"I think I have never seen someone throw a ball with this much disinterest." he laughed.

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay. I guess its just not the same huh?"

I shrugged my shoulders, looking at the green grass, kicking it slightly. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, because I appreciated what he was doing. He laughed after a moment, putting a hand on my shoulder, as he lead me back inside.

"Thank you for playing with me." I said, before I made my way back upstairs. I didn't feel like eating, so I skipped dinner and went right to bed.

All these bad thoughts were buzzing through my mind like a nest of angry wasps. I unsuccessfully tried to drown them out, but the music quickly faded into the background and the thoughts took over. They had began to haunt me for a while and it seemed they were finally catching up.

I was left questioning if mine and Laurens friendship was dissolved. Did she ever really care about me or our friendship? I remembered the look on her face, when I had found out that she was leaving and wondered not for the first time, if she would have told me, when I hadn't overheard her parents talk about it. But there was also the bracelet. Why had she gotten it for me if she didn't care? Why the inscription, if she didn't mean it?

I sighed heavily, threatening the next day of school, or more specific the moment I would come home and my mother would confirm, that another day had passed without a call from the green eyed girl that I missed so much.

 

The next days went by mostly in a blur. Shawn had followed us around and asked millions of questions and at one point Dinah had finally snapped and told him off for asking to many darn questions and being to loud, which was kind of ironic coming from her, but I had appreciated it nonetheless.

I wondered not for the first time how different everything would be if Lauren was still with us. I wished that all those new memories and experiences I had made were with her and not with people I barely knew. Each day I got more upset, did Lauren really replace me this quickly? Had I become obsolete?

Maybe Normani was right and I was just overthinking things. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that Lauren had a as hard of a time as we did. That being new in school and on top of it, in a different state with new people, not knowing anyone was overwhelming and exhausting, but was that a good enough reason for not even phoning in an telling me she was still alive?

With the third week of Preschool, Shawn had officially become to noisy. After he found out about our friend that had moved to California, he just couldn't stop asking questions about Lauren. Unbeknown to him, he was slowly fueling the fire.

I had been nice to him and overall he was a nice boy, but he just didn't seem to get the hints that I and the girls were giving him. It was none of his business and at some point in class Dinah ended up snapping at him again, earning a week of detention for it.

With each passing day I got more frustrated. Lauren had yet to call and Shawn was starting to really get on my nerves too.  
Every time I speculated about why Lauren just wouldn't call, I tried to keep the bad thoughts away, focusing on my bracelet. She had given it to me for a reason, it meant something, I knew it. I had to believe it.

When the week finally came to an end and Lauren still hadn't called, I felt more lost and angry than ever. I was angry at Lauren for forgetting about me, angry at myself for overthinking, angry at my parents for not acknowledging my pain, angry at Shawn for his constant vexing and angry at my friends for acting like Lauren had never existed at all.

I was sitting on a wooden bench outside alone, watching as Dinah, Normani and Shawn were playing 'catch' with a couple of other kids. I was just finishing my sandwich when a boy came running up to me. He was a stocky boy with buzzed hair, bushy dark eyebrows and quite brawny arms. I didn't recognize him and gathered that he must be a little older.

"Heeey! You're Camila right?" the boy asked a little out of breath.

"Uhm, yes. Why are you asking?"

"We're playing catch and we were wondering if you want to play with us?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

I frowned at him, I had already told the others that I didn't want to play, so I politely shook my head.

"Not really, but thank you for offering. I just want to be alone." I answered truthfully, even giving him a small painful smile.  
Running around and trying to 'catch' people was really the last thing that I wanted to do.

"Oh, come on. Its fun. I swear you will like it." He said smiling brightly at me, taking a hold of my wrist.

"No. I really don... ."

He forcefully pulled me up from the bench, trying to drag me towards his friends. I struggled against him, trying to yank my wrist out of his grasp when I heard the sound of something being torn. I watched as my black bracelet slipped from my wrist and fell on the ground.

"Ugh! Whatever.. you're no fun. No wonder your friends didn't want you to play with us." he said angrily, finally letting go of my wrist and rolling his eyes at me annoyed.

I looked at the angry red mark he had left on my wrist and then at Lauren's bracelet on the floor. Suddenly the anger that I had been holding in for weeks bubbled to the surface and I felt my hands clench into fists.

"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed at him, unaware that people started watching our interaction. I shoved him forcefully away from me and watched as his eyes widened. I didn't know what was happening, but it felt good so I shoved him again, watching as he stumbled slightly.

"Shut up! You don't know shit! I fu... ." I began, but was interrupted when he roughly pushed me back.

"You're fucking crazy." he spat back, shoving me again, this time with more force. I fell to the ground, scraping my elbows in the process. I quickly got up again, ignoring the pain and closing the distance, his face only inches from mine as I continued in my rage filled haze to push him back.

My left hand was still clenched into a fist, while I pointed with my right hand at him, repeatedly pushing it into his chest. "If I tell you no, it means 'no' understood? And don't you dare to ever touch me again you sli... ."

"CAMILA?" Dinah and Normani yelled at the same time, running up to me and the boy.

When I heard their voices, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. I tried to get back control of the situation, but then I felt Normani pull me to the side and Dinah shoving the boy roughly away from me.

"What the hell happened?" Normani asked me concerned, looking me over.

I was still breathing heavily, feeling the anger and the adrenaline cursing through my veins and I wanted to punch something. I wanted to feel something other than that pain that I had been carrying around for weeks but when I didn't answer, Normani just pulled me into her and hugged me, resolving my anger in mere seconds.

"Mila?" I heard Dinah say, suddenly breaking the tense atmosphere around us.

I entangled myself from Normani's arms and looked at Dinah, realizing that she was holding out her hand to me. I looked down and saw that she was holding out my bracelet. I stared at it for a moment, noting that the boy really had torn it. I took it from her, without a word, trying to stifle the impending sob as I quickly walked away.

I knew that they wanted an explanation as to what had just happened, but I couldn't, not right now. I hurried into the closest bathroom and entered a stall, sitting down on the toilet.

I couldn't believe this had happened. I looked down at the broken bracelet in my hand. It was kind of funny I thought, now the only thing that still had given me some sort of hope represented the state of my heart. When I heard the school bell ring, I dropped my head into my hands, as tears began to freely streamed down my face.

I didn't know how much time had passed, when I finally stopped crying. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and decided to head back to class before I would get into even more trouble than I already was.

I entered the room to English Class and quickly every eye was turned towards me.

"Camila the headmaster wants to see you. You can go right now." the teacher said and got right back into teaching, not sparing me another glance.

I sighed and quickly ducked my head, afraid of what Dinah and Normani must think of me now. I numbly made my way to the headmasters office, holding the bracelet tightly in my hand, afraid to lose it again.

"Ah, you're Ms. Cabello right?" the headmaster asked me right when I had walked into his office. I nodded my head and he quickly gestured me to take a seat.

"Sooo." he sighed, "Do you know why I called you into my office?" he asked, carefully studying me for some sort of reaction.

I shrugged, holding tightly onto the bracelet in my hand. I watched him nodding his head and reading something on the peace of paper in front of him. The silence that suddenly fell between us was uncomfortable, making me shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"Well, Ms Cabello, a teacher told me that you got into a fight with another student, is that correct?"

I gulped, threatening what my parents would think if they found out what I had done. But I had done it, there was no denying it, so I nodded my head, staying silent.

"Care to explain why? Did he do something to provoke you?"

I didn't feel like discussing what had happened and It was none of his business anyway. I decided not to say anything. I didn't care what he would do to me, it didn't matter anyway. I looked around the room disinterested and noticed the big American flag in the corner of his office. I scanned the shelve behind him and could tell he had served some years in the military.

"Ms Cabello?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at me, waiting for some sort of response.

"Hmmh?"

He leaned back in his chair, his eyes carefully studying me again, but this time it was a little different. "Are you okay? You seem troubled." he asked tentatively after a moment, leaning over the desk towards me, carefully looking me into the eyes.

I shrugged and quickly looked away, trying to avoid his intense eye contact. He let out a sigh again and scribbled something down on the paper in front of him.

"Okay, look. This isn't the first time that I had trouble with Erik, but since you are not defending yourself and actively took part in the altercation, there needs to be some sort of punishment. You seem like a nice girl, and thats why I will write it up to you having a bad day."

I quickly looked up at him in confusion. Was he letting me go? Was I not being punished?

"... I will send you home for the rest of the day to think about what you did okay."

I nodded slowly, not really believing my ears. "Your mother has already been informed and she is on her way to pick you up. You can wait outside." he said, getting up from his chair and walking over to open the door for me.

"Oh, and if Erik or anybody is giving you trouble you come to me or one of our councilors thats what they are here for okay?"

I was slightly taken aback about what he was implying, but nodded my head and quickly lowered my gaze to the floor.

 

The drive home was more than uncomfortable. There was so much tension in the small space of the car that it could have easily been cut with a knife. My mother hadn't said a word since she had picked me up and I felt like I was suffocating. I knew she was more than a little angry with me. I held tightly onto the bracelet in my hand, finding a source of comfort in it. When we finally arrived at home, I followed her closely into the kitchen, the question burning on my lips that I had been asking her every day for the past 5 weeks.

"I can't believe you did this." She suddenly exclaimed, turning around to face me.

"I can explain." I began weakly, but was instantly cut off.

"No. I don't want to hear it. You cant just go around and start fights Karla! I raised you better than that... I couldn't believe when Mrs Marx called and told me what you did." she said, shaking her head in disappointment.

"But it... ."

"Don't. Just go to your room."

I sighed, I knew there there was no a point in arguing with her in that state, so I just lowered my gaze to the floor.

"Did... uhm did she call?" I mumbled after a moment, when I had thought that she had calmed down somewhat, but she snapped her head back towards me so fast that I feared she had given herself a whiplash.

"No Karla, she hasn't called! What makes you think after a month she finally called? She probably just lost the slip." she answered angrily throwing her arms up in the air, before she walked out of the room. I was left standing in the middle of the kitchen, the words sinking in, like a punch to the face. Wondering when I didn't feel the familiar sting in my eyes if there weren't any tears left to cry.

I wasn't surprised that she hadn't called. The rejection felt like the only constant in my life at this point. I hadn't expected anything else, but for the first time a new possibility crossed my mind. Was it possible that she had just lost the paper slip? But this was Lauren, if it would have been important to her, she would never have been careless enough to lose it.

I shook my head and made my way upstairs into my room. I skipped dinner, pretending to be asleep, already threatening the next school day. I didn't want to talk about Lauren anymore. I didn't want to think about her anymore, but I seemed to have no choice on that matter. Lauren didn't want me anymore and apparently I was quick to be replaced and with each passing thought that went through my mind, it made more sense. I felt low. It didn't matter anymore. I needed to accept that it was over. I needed to accept that she forgot about our 'forever'.

The next day my Mama had trouble waking me up. She had pulled the curtains open, followed by my blanket that was taken rather unceremoniously away from me and after all that, when I still refused to rise I got doused in cold water.

When I looked up at her shocked and angry, there was no smile on her face, she looked serious and angry.

"Get up now, Karla! Its bad enough that you were sent home yesterday. You're lucky that you didn't get detention. "

I watched stunned as she left my room without another word. I frowned as I felt a shiver go through me from the cold air that blew through my room and my very wet clothes. If she had just let me explain myself. Everything started to turn to shit and it seemed impossible to stop it. I accepted my fate and crawled out of my bed and making my way into the bathroom.

The girls and I would usually meet up before school and talk before we would make our way to class together, but today I didn't feel like talking to anybody. I decided that I wasn't going to our spot and headed straight to class. I sat down in my assigned seat and dropped my head on the cold wood of the table. I sighed deeply. I knew DJ and Mani would be mad at me for ignoring them, but right now I didn't care. I wasn't ready for their questions and if Shawn was going to show up, I wasn't sure if he wouldn't drive me up the walls with his questioning.

I couldn't deal with any of this at the moment. I already felt bad about yesterday. I knew that Dinah had called me several times after school to check in, but I had ignored her. There was an emptiness in me, that made me feel like doing nothing. I just wanted to go and curl up into a ball in my bed and be alone.

When Lauren had left she had taken a part of me with her that was now replaced by a deep darkness, that left me feeling empty.

The classroom started to fill and I tried to drown everything around me out. Like I had expected when Dinah and Normani entered, they came straight to me, all kinds of questions already swirling around in their heads. I ignored all of them, I shut my eyes, effectively blocking them out.

The day went by in a blur. The girls had still asked me a couple of times what had happened yesterday, but I mostly stayed silent. The whole world was moving, but I felt stuck. Like those poor animals in the zoo. It was like I kept sinking a little deeper everyday and nobody even cared enough to look.

The rest of the week passed pretty similar to that day. I ignored everyone, only occasionally asking if Dinah or Normani had heard anything from Lauren, but their response always was the same. They would look at the floor and say 'no', and with each passing day the word would have more annoyance swinging with it.

This weekend it would be our sleepover weekend and since I was barely even talking to the girls I skipped it. I didn't even feel the need to tell them, considering that I barely acknowledged their existence. I really should feel bad, but since the girls barely made an effort, I guessed they didn't really care either way, only confirming my suspicions.

I felt like this place around me got more miserable with each passing day. The numbness drawing me further inside and I welcomed it. It was better to feel nothing then the pain that I had been carrying around for a month. There was no more anger, no more sadness, just nothing. I didn't care when my Mama screamed at me for not doing my homework, or when Dinah flipped on my for ignoring them. I even didnt care as my teacher was yelling at me in front of everyone for not taking part and being late for class again. I even just took it when my Papá was yelling at me, telling me that I needed to get myself together and that I couldn't keep going like this. He even tried to make sure that I was eating again, but it mostly ended up being unsuccessful. He couldn't force me and he knew that. I only had lost a couple of kilos, it really wasn't that bad.

This was supposed to be the most exciting time in my life, but it turned out to be the worst. I should be happy and careless. I should be in class with Lauren and we should be doing our homework together and partner up for projects and maybe even join one of those sport teams Lauren always went on about. Yet, here I was. Not only had I lost Lauren, I now also had lost Dinah and Normani. I had effectively shut them out. We weren't even talking at all anymore. We stopped meeting before school and I even had moved to another desk during lunch. They had let me shut them out. Shawn was still there though. He would still follow me around like a lost puppy. He still talked to me without actually realizing that I wasn't listening or ever answering any of his questions.

I was sitting at the lunch table, picking around in my food, wondering why I had even bothered to get a plate in the first place, when Shawn sat down next to me.

"Ugh, did you do the art assignment? I totally forgot about it. I hope Ms. Clarke will let us... ."

I usually always drowned Shawn out, but I was telling him off all week and it was aggravating that he couldn't take a hint. I didn't want his company and he blatantly ignored my wishes.

"Uhm, hey?" Shawn began again, making me look up at him for a second. "Hey can I ask a dumb question?"

"Like no one else." I muttered under my breath, my eyes never leaving the plate in front of me, where I was still playing with my food.

"What?" he asked incredulously. "You know what? For weeks I have been trying to be a good friend but you're nothing but rude... frankly I'm sick of it... ."

Was he being serious right now? I rolled my eyes at him, deciding to ignore him, hoping he would get up and finally leave me alone.

I wasn't that lucky.

"... You know, it actually shouldn't be a surprise that Dinah and Normani don't want anything to do with you anymore... ." he began angrily, getting up from his seat. "You're just rude and boring and honestly a really crappy friend!"

When he realized that he wasn't getting a reaction out of me, he stood up straighter, puffing out his chest. "No wonder that Lauren girl left and ditched you. She obviously never cared about you, I mean considering that she doesn't even care enough to make a pho... ."

My head snapped up to him. How dare he? What was wrong with him? My numb state was now being shaken and for the first time in a week, I felt something. I felt the pain of Laurens rejection. The hurt of seeing the helplessness in my fathers and mothers eyes and just pure unfiltered rage. My hands turned into fists and my anger was engulfing me like a warm blanket. I shot up from my seat and rushed forward. I took a hold of Shawn's collar, my fingers leaving angry red marks in their wake as I pulled him towards me with anger burning in my eyes.

"How dare you... ." I spat, when suddenly there was a pair of arms engulfing me from behind and lifting me off the floor and away from Shawn.

I didn't know who was dragging me away from him, but I wasn't having any of it. I trashed around, trying to get back at him, but the other person was stronger. "You fucking dimwit, I'm not your friend! I never was and if you had a functioning brain cell up in that thick head of yours you'd know that." I screamed at him, not noticing that every pair of eyes were directed at us.

"You.. you ... you rude person!" Shawn stammered out, looking at me with glassy, red eyes.

"Gee, go easy on her Shawn." I heard Dinah chuckle amused at his comeback, regardless of the seriousness of the situation.

I continued trying to get out of Dinah's hold but to no avail. She dragged me out of the lunch hall and into the hallway, leaving us alone and far from prying eyes.

"Okay Chancho, who fed you after midnight again?"

Dinah and her damn Gremlin references. I was just about to give her a piece of my mind when a security guard ran up to us and angrily took a hold of my arm.

"You're coming with me!" he stated with such finality in his voice that I knew there was no way to get out of it. Dinah suddenly took a step towards him and took a hold of his arm.

"Come on... she didn't do anything ... ."

"Back off Ms Hansen, or you will see the headmaster as well."

"Its okay Cheechee." I said shrugging, not really caring anyway about what the headmaster had to say.

The Polynesian gave ma an apologetic look, but stepped back, as the security guard lead me towards the office.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Normani's POV

A couple of days ago we had finished moving into our new house, just further down the street. Dinah had come home with me after school, as we had decided to celebrate with a movie night.

Dinah was already getting comfortable in my bed, as I made my way from the bathroom back to my room, when I heard a familiar voice that made me stop in my tracks.

"... don't know what to do anymore Andrea." Sinu sighed.

I quietly moved down the stairs to confirm my suspicion. When I spotted Camila's mother sitting on the couch next to my mother, I sat myself down in the middle of the stairs, eavesdropping on their conversation.

"... I think I just lost all control over her. I scream, I yell and she just stands there and stares at me with such an emptiness in her eyes. I tried everything but she just wont talk to me. She comes home from school and walks straight to her room and goes to bed, she lays there all day just listening to music. We can barely get her to eat or get her to wake up in the morning... ." Sinu trailed off and I listened to her sobs for a while, as my mother ran her hand up and down Sinu's back.

"Sinu, I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but... I think this is just all to much for Camila. Maybe she should talk to someone more qualified, like a therapist. She did just lose a friend."

"... I just want my little girl back. I cant stand seeing her like that. I'd do whatever it takes... "

"I know. But you also have to acknowledge what she is going through. This isn't something that you forget so quickly. From what Normani told me, Lauren hasn't called any of the girls and its been over a month. I don't even want to imagine how Camila or the girls are feeling about that..." Andrea said, still rubbing Sinus back in a comforting manner.

"Normani, where the hel... ."

"Psssst!" I quickly shut Dinah up, pressing my index finger against my lips, indicating her to be quiet.

Dinah looked slightly confused, but I pointed at the women sitting on the couch. Dinah quietly walked down the stairs and once she spotted them, she sat down next to me, raising an eyebrow at me in question.

"..You know I always had the feeling Camila and Lauren were the closest of the girls. They relied on each other so much. I remember the first night they all stayed over. Usually I would check on them at night, to make sure they weren't doing anything they weren't supposed to, like sneaking out." she began, chuckling slightly to herself, "When I looked into the guest-room I saw Camila curled up into Laurens arms and looking back, I don't think there was even one night I didn't catch them not cuddled up together. I think we cant even imagine what kind of hole Lauren left in Camila when she went to California and didn't call. But Sinu time heals and Camila will be okay. I think time is exactly what she needs."

"But she still holds onto the past, she doesn't want to be healed, she doesn't want to let go and that's the whole problem." Sinu said, loudly blowing her nose with a handkerchief.

"Thats why you should maybe get her to see a therapist ... ."

"No you don't understand, she wont go there, she is so angry." Sinu interrupted, now straightening her back slightly.

"There was such a sadness in her eyes in the beginning and it hurt me to look at her, but now, there is only this emptiness in her eyes and it scares me. There is no regret in the things she did, no sadness, no anger, just nothing. I haven't seen her smile or heard her laugh in weeks and I cant seem to reach her no matter how hard I try. She wont listen to me, she definitely wont listen to some woman or man she doesn't know, let alone talk to them."

"Shit! Normani, I think we shouldn't have let her push us away, I think we made it worse."

I starred worryingly back at Dinah, thinking the exact same thing. "We need to fix this, or I think we actually are gonna lose her for real."

"Yea, the way she has been acting since in the last weeks, she ain't gonna go see no therapist."

Sinu loudly blew her nose again and out attention was shifted back to the women on the sofa. "Have you tried to contact Clara?"

"No, she wanted to reach out to us, but since we began moving a couple weeks ago, our phone was turned off and our number changed. I'm hoping she will call Milika, Camila is not the only one wondering whats going on."

"Hey Mani." Dinah whispered, trying to get my attention. "I don't know why Lauren hasn't called yet, but you know whether she has a good reason or not, we did make a promise and I intent to keep that."

I narrowed my eyes at her frowning. "What do you mean whether or not? D, you know Lauren... I refuse to believe that she just forgot about us. I don't know whats going on but I bet my ass that she has a good reason for it."

"Well Mani, lets hope for you and all our sakes that you're right... ." Dinah was cut off, as we heard the two women get up from the sofa and we quickly hurried back upstairs into my room.

"I cant help but think that maybe the intention of her promise, you know, that we watch out for Camila has something to do with her not calling... I don't know." Dinah finished, shacking her head, and letting herself drop down on my bed exasperatedly.

"What? Are you being serious?"

Dinah only shrugged in response, not catching my eyes. I knew that she was having a tougher time each time Camila would shut us out. "She left us Mani and she didn't even call us up to say that she arrived safely. I mean... whats up with that?"

I studied her for a moment and suddenly I realized that we had been so focused on watching out for Mila that we had completely forgotten to look after our own feelings. I slowly sat down next to her and padded her thigh before she turned and engulfed me in a hug.

"Mufasa, I think I have an idea."

Dinah slowly looked up at me, "What do you mean?"

"Do you remember your Mom's friend, Heidi?"

Dinah's brows furrowed for a moment in thought. "The old lady, whose husband ran away? Yea, how could I forget her? That woman could snore. I had to turn her away from the window so she wouldn't inhale the drapes!"

"Yes, thats her!" I chuckled, "Do you remember what she told us? You know about getting over her husband?"

"Yes, I remember because she burned down everything that reminded her of him and thats how her house caught fire and was the reason she stayed with us in the first place... What's your point?"

"My point is." I drawled out, getting up from the bed and began pacing. "I mean Lauren wasn't Mila's husband or anything, but you know she still kind of lost her. Maybe its a way of distracting her."

"Yeah, we're not going to burn shit Mani!" Dinah clarified.

I rolled my eyes at her, stopping my pacing to look at the Polynesian. "Thats not my point Dinah. I mean look at what happened. We thought Mila needed her space and we allowed her to push us away, but instead of it bringing her closer to us, she only drifted further away. We never talked about Lauren because we didn't want to upset her even more, but while doing that, we didn't acknowledge her and our own pain. Cuz regardless of what we promised Lauren, we lost her too. And it sucks, but... we are not alone. We don't have to go through this alone and neither does Mila. I think its time we finally make good on that promise, because I for one am not ready to lose another friend!"

I sighed deeply, walking over towards my nightstand and took the framed picture of the 4 of us. "DJ we are going to do something drastic."

Dinah shuffled forward, also taking a look at the picture, before looking back at me, not understanding what I was implying.

"We are going to put Mila through a detox, We will make her go full cold turkey."


	5. After all these years

Dinah's POV

"Fasten your seatbelt, Walz, this ain't gonna be no cakewalk!" I yelled, as I rushed into Camila's room without knocking. 

The girl was laying on her side, facing the wall, while sad music was blasting from the speakers. I watched her jump at the sudden intrusion and when she turned around, she was startled to see us standing in the middle of her room. 

"Uhmm.. What are you guys doing here?" Camila asked confused, not even trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"We're done with whatever this is... ." I said, pointing vaguely at the her, "Its time to move on."

She sighed, taking a deep breath in, "I just want to be alone. Can you guys please leave?"

Camila didn't wait for a response and laid back down. She turned around, so her back was facing us again, indicating that she was done with this conversation. 

"Sorry cant do." I stated, walking over to her wall which was covered with pictures and began taking down every picture that included Lauren.

Camila lifted her head and watched us for a moment, trying to figure out what we were doing. When she saw me handing another picture to Normani, she quickly sat up on her bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked curiously, but her voice sounded small and unsteady and when both of us stayed silent she got up to find out for herself.

She immediately realized what we were taking off her wall and rushed between us, trying to get her stuff back.

"Don't touch that!" Camila hissed, "I swear, if you don't put them back right now, I will ...- ."

"You will what Walz? Hold your breath?" I quickly interrupted her, but Camila wasn't listening. She shoved Normani away to stop her from taking more of her stuff and I realized that we weren't getting anywhere with Camila meddling in between us. I tightly wrapped my arms around her, holding her to my chest, preventing her from further movement. 

"Let me go Dinah! I ... put that back! I want you both to leave! Just... ugh! LET. ME. GO!" Camila began yelling and squirming in my hold. 

"Please, put that back Mani. Come on... Let me go! Just... leave me be... "

Normani completely ignored her, carefully stuffing the pictures in her bag, before moving over to her desk. She opened one of the drawers, gathering all the drawing Camila and Lauren had done together. "Nooooo! You cant do that! Please... don't take that!" Camila was still yelling helplessly trying to free herself, as she watched on in horror.

Once Normani had everything packed up, I gestured to the black t-shirt that was laying next to Camila's bed. "Don't forget that! It's Laurens too." 

"What? This?" Normani asked confused, holding up the large black T-shirt.

Camila had gone completely still in my hold. I could feel how tense she was as her eyes widened in realization that I knew about the shirt.

"Yes. Lauren forgot it here after a sleepover and never bothered to look for it." 

Normani just shrugged it off and stuffed it also in her bag. "And now, the last item." Normani said, walking up to us, her focus on Camila's bracelet. 

"No!" Camila began shaking her head, tears now forming in her eyes as she pleadingly looked at the other girl. "Please Normani don't. Take all that, whatever... That's fine! Just please don't take the bracelet! I'm begging you Normani, please don't... ."

"I'm sorry Mila." Normani said, not looking at the Cuban girl as she pulled the torn bracelet, that Camila had tried to fix with a some tape- from her wrist. 

I could feel Mila's whole body shaking in my embrace as sobs were winning her over and she finally collapsed in my arms. I slowly lowered us onto the ground never loosening my hold on her. 

"I'm sorry Mila, but you cant keep going like this." Normani said softly, crouching down next to us. "You're not the only one who lost Lauren and we will not allow you to walk away from us too. You can hate us, you can ignore us as much as you want, but we will look out for you and be there for you, because I refuse to lose you too." 

"I... I just miss her so much." Camila sniffed as the tears continued to run down her cheeks. It almost broke my hearth seeing her this distraught. 

"I know Chancho. We know. We miss her too, but Mila please don't forget that she left us too. We thought that you just needed a little space and we tried to keep her out of our conversations because it hurt to talk about her and we could only imagine what it was like for you. But please... don't ever shut us out like that again. I know what we are doing is pretty drastic and I get if you're angry with us, but please understand that we have to do this." I whispered, not trusting my voice not to crack. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

We knew our actions had been drastic, but gladly for us they had worked out. Camila had stopped shutting us out and began to acknowledge us again. She still wasn't back to her old self, but she was slowly getting there. 

We could tell that she was still carrying that anger around inside of her and tried to lessen the pain as best as we could. To both Normani and my surprise she had quickly made up with Shawn and they moved passed the whole 'lunch' incident, actually becoming close friends.

After a while Camila began to smile again and at times our conversations felt like nothing had ever happened at all. The only thing that had stayed the same were the sleepovers. She would come over but never stay the night. We never questioned her about it, if she wanted to tell us why, we knew she would do it on her own terms. 

Of course Normani and I knew what was going on, neither of us had forgotten the conversation Sinu and Andrea had had. We both weren't exactly sure what it meant, but it had something to do with Lauren not being here. 

In the long run Laurens departure had actually brought the three of us closer together. We shared everything, even when it was hard sometimes to talk about certain things. We always could count on each other. We were more than friends. We were a family. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 2 Years later - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"DMac, where does this go?" Normani asked out of breath, dropping one of the heavy boxes in my new room. 

"Just leave it there, I'll look through it later."

For the past two hours we had been relocating my room. We're already tired from moving all the boxes and the furniture and were in need of a well deserved break. 

I was glad that my parents had decided that I could move into a different room. This room was much bigger and I only had to share it with 2 of my siblings. 

Normani dramatically dropped down on my bed, releasing a deep sighed, as Camila went through the boxes on the ground and began arranging some of my stuff on the shelves. 

"I like this new room, its much less... chaotic!" Normani laughed, as she turned slightly to look at us. 

"And here I thought all you owned were Beyoncé CD's. Seriously, since when do you own so much stuff?" Camila groaned, opening another box.

"Honestly I don't know. I think most of it is actually my sisters." I chuckled, looking around the room, realizing that it was indeed a lot of stuff. "Well, not anymore."

"I'm not carrying anything back!" 

"Whats this?" Camila asked curiously, pulling out a wooden box that had the word 'Camren' carved into it. Normani and I quickly exchanged looks, which to our dismay didn't go unnoticed by the Cuban girl. 

"Uhm, its nothing... ." Normani and I said in unison as we rushed towards her, trying to stop her from looking into the box. Needless to say, we weren't fast enough. Camila instantly knew we were hiding something and quickly opened it. 

We watched Camila's expression blank as she stared into the contains of the box that she was holding in her hands. I instantly could feel Normani's worried eyes on me, but I didn't dare to look away from Camila, who seemed to have frozen up and all color was draining from her face.

"Mila?" I slowly tried, for the first time daring to quickly send Normani a concerned glance. Neither of us was sure how to approach this situation knowing well enough that Lauren was still a very touchy subject for the Cuban girl sitting on the floor. 

Something seemed to snap Camila out of her frozen state, as she lifted her right hand and began looking through the box. After a moment she pulled out various pictures followed by drawings that they had done together.

Normani and I watched her quietly, not moving a muscle, afraid to make a wrong move and push Camila back to her old ways. Camila rummaged around in the box, obviously looking for something. 

I could feel Normani send me another nervous look, shaking me somewhat out of my stupor. "Mila, are you okay?"

She blinked her eyes a couple of times, never looking up from the box in front of her. 

"She never called... She promised." Camila mumbled more to herself than to us, her voice void of any emotions. 

I didn't know how to respond, so I stayed silent, helplessly looking to Normani. 

"I ... I bet there is an explanation as to why she hasn't... ." Normani began but stopped when she saw Camila shaking her head, like she didn't even want to have this conversation.

"She is just a bad memory at this point." Camila breathed out, not believing the own words that were coming out of her mouth. "I cant believe you kept all this."

Normani and I were still at a loss of words, so we both only shrugged our shoulders in reply. It wasn't like we were ever going to throw it out, we had planned on giving it back to her once Lauren had called and things were back to normal. 

Camila seemed to be searching something and then pulled out the black bracelet that we had taken from her. She inspected it for a second and then looked back at me.

"You got it fixed."

I only nodded, swallowing hard. It had been the least thing that I could do after taking everything away from her, even when it came from a good place. 

"I wonder what she is doing. How California is working out for her ... if she is happy." Camila added, as an after thought. 

Her face was still void of any emotion leaving us utterly speechless. I wished she would show anything whether it was anger, hurt or sadness, anything but this blankness she was displaying. 

"I'll keep this." Camila suddenly stated, packing everything back into the box and getting up from the place she had been sitting in. "I'll better get home now, its kinda getting late. See you guys tomorrow?" 

We slowly nodded out heads in unison, watching as the Cuban girl walked out on us without another word. 

To our surprise the next day was like any other day. We all met before school, walked together to class, had comfortable conversations and joked around. 

There was one thing that had changed. When we were at lunch, Camila had rolled up her sleeves, showing of her black bracelet. I immediately saw Normani's eyes snap up to mine, showing me that she had seen it as well. I wanted to ask about it, but didn't know how to best approach it without upsetting her.

Apparently Shawn had taken notice of it too, but like us, he wasn't as reserved.

"Hey Mila." he said after swallowing his bite of toast. Camila looked up at him, raising her eyebrows at him with a smile.

"You're wearing that old thing again?" he asked, nodding his head towards her wrist, unmistakably meaning the black bracelet that she was wearing.

Camila followed his line of sighed and instantly began to frown at him. "Yea, why shouldn't I?"

"I don't know... I thought it was broken."

"It was. Dinah got it fixed for me." Camila answered and began peeling her banana. She looked at me, giving me a bright smile, that honestly surprised me a little. 

"Oh, okay." Shawn said a little confused, but was seemingly not happy with her answer yet.

"Wasn't that thing a present from that Lauren girl?" 

I watched Camila tense instantly, starring at the desk in front of her.

"Shawn don't you have anybody else to annoy?" I quickly interjected, threatening were their conversation was headed, but before Shawn was even able to open his mouth again, Camila seemed to relax.

"Yea so? Do you have a problem with that Shawn?" Camila asked annoyed, putting her banana down to cross her arms in front her chest defiantly.

"Uhm, no... I was just thinking that, you know... Wasn't she kind of a bitch? Why would you want a reminder of her around your wrist? I mean I remember how you acted after we first met. The moment someone would only bring up her name you always got really upset and shut yourself out. Also don't forget how she hurt you when she never even bother to ca... ."

"Stop acting like I'm some tragic little girl who can't handle herself." Camila said angrily, almost stumbling over her own feet as she rose from her chair, grabbing her bag and swinging it over her shoulder before making her way out of the lunch room.

Shawn quickly got up, but Normani pulled him back down shaking her head. 

"You seriously need to learn to take a cue Shawny boy." I said, shaking my head at him.

He dropped his head in his hands, letting out a deep sigh. We both knew that Shawn had a massive crush on Camila and only tried to help, yet he always ended up making it worse for himself. Camila on the other hand stayed blissfully ignorant to his crush and to the meaning of his attempts to 'comfort' her.

"Shit... I better go and apologize."

"Yes you should, but do that after school. Let her just cool down for a bit."

He thankfully nodded his head, giving me a slight smile. "I wish I could be more like you sometimes."

"That goes without saying." I told him smugly.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 8 Years later - - - - (Junior Year) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Camila's POV

I was sitting in my AP Calculus class, not listening to Mrs. Jefferson, going over the same math problem for probably the hundredth time. My chin was resting in the palm of my hand, as I starred out of the window, to deep in thought to even hear the bell ringing. 

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and turned to find Normani packing up her belongings. "You wanna stare some more out of that window or can we go to lunch?" she asked playfully. 

I smirked back at her, grabbing my books and putting the rest of my stuff into my bag.

"Foods the only reason I come here in the first place." I joked and we made our way back to the cafeteria. 

Dinah was already occupying our table, raising an eyebrow at us in question. "What took you guys so long?" 

"Hello to you too." I said hugging her from behind, which only caused her to frown and push me away playfully.

"Aww, did you miss us?" Normani asked jokingly, sitting down opposite us.

Dinah only rolled her eyes and continued chewing her sandwich. 

"Oh shit Mila, I forgot to tell you. I cant give you a ride later, I need to pick up my grandma from the airport." 

"Thats alright, Cheechee can give me a ride, right?" I said, leaning into Dinah and laying my head down on her shoulder. I suddenly felt her tense and looked up at her in question.

"Uhm I got Softball practice later." Dinah said, getting seemingly more interested in her sandwich.

"Thats perfect, Ill just come and watch. Plus when i get bored I can get started on some of my homework." I said shrugging. 

I noticed that Normani and Dinah exchanged quick looks, but before I could say anything Dinah interrupted my train of thought. "I don't know if thats such a good idea."

"Why not?" I asked a little surprised. It wasn't new that I went to their practices after school and waited for them to finish so we could hang out after. I loved watching their teams practice and there wasn't one game that I had missed. 

"Its just... its probably super boring and I was thinking about skipping today anyway."

"... you're a horrible liar, Dinah... .You never skip practice unless you have a good reason. Whats really going on?"

"Just... ." Dinah breathed out, leaning back in her chair, not catching my eyes.

"Mila, there is something we... ." Normani began, before she was abruptly cut off.

"No, seriously Chancho. We are probably only going to do exercises and talk about knew tactics. I doubt there will be anything fun to watch."

I slowly looked from Normani back to Dinah, narrowing my eyes at them. I could tell that something was going on that they didn't want me to know about. "Thats alright... more time for me to focus on my homework then."

"Okay then its a date." Dinah said, looking worriedly over to Normani who was wearing the same worried expression as the Polynesian. I really needed to find out what was going on. 

The rest of the day, I couldn't get my head around about how the two of them had acted. They were definitely hiding something from me. I was determined to find out what it was, but when the last class came to an end, Normani was already waiting for me outside the classroom. 

"Hey Mani... ."

"Come with me." Normani quickly cut me off, taking a hold of my arm and dragging me into an empty locker room. 

"What are we doing here Mani?" I asked confused, as we were walking to the back row. Thats when I spotted Dinah pacing and realized that she was already waiting for us. When Dinah saw us, she stopped her pacing and began to stare at me with a look that I couldn't decipher.

"Camila, we need to talk." 

"Oh my god, are you breaking up with me?" I said jokingly, bringing my hand up to my chest, but when I saw Dinah's and Normani's serious faces, my smile quickly fell.

"Oh my god, you are breaking up with me!"

"What? No... Mila, there is something we need to tell you." Dinah began, taking a hold of my hand and leading me towards the bench, indicating for me to sit me down.

"Yea, you're going to find out in a couple weeks anyway and I think its better if you hear it from us, other than accidentally bumping into her or whatever." Normani chuckled nervously, fiddling with her phone. 

I narrowed my eyes at the girls, frowning. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

".... Wow this was so much easier when we practiced it earlier." Dinah chuckled nervously, scratching her head trying to find the right words.

"You guys are kind of freaking me out, whats going on?" I asked, getting more impatient by the second. 

Dinah looked at Normani for help, but the other girl only shook her head, worryingly starring back at Dinah.

"Oh my god just say it." I said exasperatedly, throwing my arms up in the air.

"Fine... okay. Okay... uhmm." Dinah began, uncomfortably scratching her neck. "You know how I joined the softball team?"

I raised my eyebrows at her, nodding my head, as I waited for Dinah to continue. 

"Well... I don't really know how to say this... ."

I rolled my eyes at her, getting up from the bench to look down at her. "Seriously Dinah? Just say it already. What could you possibly tell me that would freak me out the way you're making it out to be right now? I mean what do you think I'd do?"

Dinah took a deep breath in before looking back up at me. "Okay. Just, you need to promise me that you're not going to freak out and you know... do something rash." 

I squinted suspiciously at Dinah. "I don't know Dinah, I don't know what you're about to tell me so no, I will not promise anything." 

"What?" Dinah said shocked, shacking her head. "No Mila, you need to promise me, or I wont tell you."

"Yea, whatever... just tell me."

"You promise me?"

I closed my eyes, trying not to pull my hair out in frustration. I took a deep breath in, slowly nodding my head. "Okay, yea I promise. Now tell me!" 

Dinah released a breath that I didn't know she was holding. She exchanged a quick glance with Normani before walking closer to me.

"Good. Just remember that you promised me that you won't do anyt.... ."

"Dinah! If you don't tell me right now... "

"Lauren is back!" Normani quickly stated in a rush of courage.

I frowned at both girls, narrowing my eyes at them in confusion. "Lauren?"

"Yes, Lauren... Jauregui."

A lump formed inside my throat and all the air seemed to have been sucked out of my lungs. I must have not heard right.

"Lauren Jauregui?" I stammered out in question. Both girls only nodded their heads, staring at the ground.

"... And I guess she is on the softball team with you?" Dinah nodded in confirmation and suddenly it dawned on me.

"How long has she been back?"

"We haven't really talked to her, but it must have been at least 3 weeks."

"3 weeks? And she didn't say a word?" I asked, feeling the anger inside me resurface as my hands balled into fists. I turned around, wanting to make my way to the softball field, when I felt a hand holding tightly onto my wrist. 

"You promised."

I yanked my wrist out of her grasp and without thinking I stalked out of the locker room and down the hallway. I knew I was to awake for this to be a nightmare. 3 weeks? 3 weeks and nothing? And worst of all Normani and Dinah who were supposed to be my friends both had known and had decided to keep this form me. Neither one of them had bothered to tell me anything and probably hadn't if it weren't for me wanting to go to Dinah's softball practice. And now they expect me to wait? Wait for what? No I waited long enough!

"Mila! Wait! You promised. You ... Just wait, please." I could hear Dinah yell desperately somewhere behind me, but I ignored her. I had a mission and no promise was going to stop me from getting to that damn softball field. 

Suddenly I was pulled back by a hand that had taken a hold of the back of my shirt. I quickly looked around and found Dinah's pleading eyes. "Mila.. just wait... for a second."

"No Dinah! You cant expect me not to go there and give... ."

"I'm just telling you to wait. Think about this first... ."

"Dinah, I waited 10 years. 10 very long years and I'm done waiting. You won't stop me from going over there right now. No one will." I said with a finality in my voice that made Dinah stop in her tracks. 

Regardless of the 10 years, the scars were still there. I felt them reopen and the pain was as apparent as it had been 10 years ago when she had left. I had tried to bury the pain, but I just couldn't get the hole deep enough. No matter how much I dug, it was always there.

Broken shards were stabbing me with every step that I took closer to the softball field. Every breath was cutting me slowly back up inside. There was only one way to make the pain stop and that was to finally confront Lauren. Getting to the truth, whatever that may be. It really was embarrassing, the girl had been back for god knows how long and not even bothered to approach me, while I was still pathetically waiting for her phone-call. 

Angry was the mildest of the emotions I was feeling right now. I was getting closer to the softball field as my eyes were furiously sweeping the place for a familiar stranger. The girl with those piercing green eyes that were hunting me at night and when I thought that maybe she wasn't here, I caught a glimpse of a girl with raven hair in my peripheral vision. I turned and thats when I saw her. 

For a moment I was sure the world had stopped turning. My breath got stuck and I was sure that my heart had stopped beating. Green eyes locked onto brown ones and it was a moment of animated suspense, as I watched her eyes go a little wider in recognition. 

She was actually here. It felt like we were looking at each other for hours, but in reality it was probably only a couple of seconds. She looked all grown up now, but It was unmistakably her. Her beautiful green eyes were just as I remembered. Her shoulder long brunette hair was now darker, longer and seemingly untamable. She had a nose piercing and a soft smile was slowly stretching on her lips. I never prepared for a moment like this, but in a second all the pain, the heartache seemed to have vanished, and I felt like I was back in kindergarten, watching Lauren push that boy into the sand to bring me back my teddy. 

I watched her smile stretched a little further, making her more beautiful, than I thought was possible.

"Camz?"

And suddenly, after all these years, I still felt everything. I wanted to take comfort in her, and I knew it would cost me my soul and a part of me didn't care.


	6. Hello Goodbye

Camila’s POV

“Camz?”

And suddenly, after all these years, I still felt everything. I wanted to take comfort in her and I knew it would cost me my soul and a part of me didn't care.

This must be why Jedi turn to the dark side; I thought, as I sprinted to Lauren, flinging myself across the distance and hurling myself into the Cuban girls arms. I wrapped my legs around her waist and brought my arms around her neck. I held onto her like she was my lifeline, afraid that she might disappear again, if I let go.

I felt Lauren chuckle, as she securely wrapped her arms around my waist, almost holding me as tightly as I was holding her. I buried my face in her soft, dark hair and inhaled her scent. There was such a strong sense of familiarity coming with it that I felt like I was finally coming home.

I didn't know how long we were hugging for, when I heard Dinah clearing her throat, finally bringing me back to my senses. I unwrapped my arms from around her neck and let go of her. Immediately Lauren released my waist from her hold as well and once I planted my feet back on the ground, I looked back into those vibrant green eyes.

The moment our eyes met, I was overwhelmed with a rush of emotions. Thoughts of doubt invaded my senses and at that moment my mind decided to go to war against my heart. I stared at the girl in front of me speechless and unmoving. My mind and heart still fighting for dominance as I struggled to breath. Everything was just to much!

I could still feel Lauren’s touch burning on my skin and I knew I needed space. My mind was slowly winning the fight and my heart was beating unhealthily fast. At this point I couldn't hear anything other than the blood pounding in my ears. My head spun and I placed a hand on my forehead, trying to cope with the emotions that were boiling inside of me. Everything seemed to come crushing down on me, the anger, the pain, the suffering Lauren had put me through for 10 years and my walls that I had so carefully built. My head began to feel like it was filling with cotton and I knew I needed to run.

So I ran, I ran from my feelings, from Lauren, from the confrontation and from Dinah who was probably still waiting for me to go off on the green eyed girl. I could hear Dinah yelling something after me, but it was inaudible to me over the sound of my heart hammering relentlessly like drums in my ears.

Once I had arrived at home, I went right into my room, shutting the door and hiding under my blankets, hoping like a child that all my problems would just vanish.

What the hell had I been thinking? Lauren had been back for weeks without bothering to even say ‘Hello’ and what had I done? I jumped her the second I found out she was back, like nothing had ever happened. Like a pathetic little puppy I couldn't stay away from her. I wanted to make sense of this mess I had put myself into, but I wasn't even sure where to begin.

My phone was eliciting a constant vibrating sound, that only ever stopped for a couple of seconds. I knew it was either Dinah or Normani, but I couldn't deal with them right now. I understood why they had done it, why they had kept that information from me, but it didn't keep me from not being angry with them.

I didn't know how much time had passed, when I heard a knocking on my door. I ignored it, hoping they would just leave, but I wasn't that lucky. My door slowly opened, illuminating my room more than it was a second ago.

“Mila? Can we talk?” I heard the Polynesian whisper, as she entered my room.

I rolled my eyes. I really didn't want to talk to anybody right now. I thought it had been obvious; that’s why I hadn't answered their calls. I took a deep breath in, turning around to come face to face with a serious disheveled looking Dinah, making me almost feel sorry for not answering my phone.

“Can we not?”

Dinah shook her head, fully entering my room now, she took in a deep breath. “I know I should have told you that Lauren is back, but I… .” She began trying to explain, but I was quick to interrupt her.

“Can we please not talk about that? I really just want to be alone right now.”

“I get it, Mila. Really. Just listen.”

“Dinah I’m not in the mood to discuss this right now.”

“Just listen okay… .”

“No Dinah! Why do you think I didn't answer my phone… I cant do this right now… so please just leave!” I yelled back, getting angry now. Dinah only stood there, hurt written all over her face as she looked down at the ground. There was an uncomfortable silence that stretched on for what felt like hours when Dinah finally looked at me again, shaking her head.

“Don't do this again Mila.”

“Do what?” I asked annoyed, throwing my arms up in the air, because I was really getting tired of all this.

“Shutting me out again.” Dinah said with so much emotion in her voice that it teared my heart apart. I stared back at her, her face was red, with sadness writing all over it and I realized that I had been wrong. I knew that they had only meant well, with them not telling me about Lauren. They had known it was a stupid idea to keep that from me. They had expected that I would be angry, but they had never counted on me shutting them out again. I had never meant it that way either. I only had wanted my space and some time to come to terms with everything. I instantly felt ashamed for making her feel that way.

“Shit! I'm sorry Cheechee! I never meant to… I won’t! I’m so sorry. It was just all a little to much okay. I wont. I promise. I’m sorry!” I said, quickly getting up and pulling her into my arms.

She reciprocated my hug, shaking her head. “I’m really sorry too, Mila. I know it was wrong, we just never found the right time to tell you and we really didn't have any idea how to bring it up.”

“I know. Its okay.” I said, walking back to my bed with Dinah following behind me. “I know why you didn't tell me, I just… .”

I sat down on the bed, taking in a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. Dinah was laying down on my bed and I quickly snuggled up next to her. ”I just cant get over how it all went wrong ,you know.” I finally sighed, staring at the ceiling above.

We were laying there for a while, neither one of us saying anything. I could feel Dinah’s eyes burning holes into my skull and when I looked up, I saw something in her eyes that I couldn't decipher.

“Look Mila about Lauren… .” Dinah began yet again, but when she felt me shift away from her, she frowned and raised her eyebrows at me in question.

“No. Dinah can we please, pleeease not talk about her? At least not tonight?”

She studied me for a long moment, her eyes quickly dotting between my eyes. When she seemed to not find what she was looking for, she took in a deep breath and began nodding her head slowly.

“Yea, sure.” she said, laying her head back down and pulling me closer towards her again. She securely wrapped her arm around me, as I tried to hold back my tears and hid my face inside her chest, hoping she didn't take notice.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The next day, something happened that I had never anticipated. After 10 years of ignoring me, Lauren seemed to have finally found her ovaries. Unbeknown as to what would happen in a couple of seconds, I was sitting in the lunch room, picking around in my food and waited for Shawn and the girls to arrive, however someone else got to me first.

“Hey Camz.” I heard a raspy voice say. No one ever called me by that name, well… besides Lauren. My eyes widened and I swallowed hard, gathering all the strength I could. I dropped my fork and looked back into those emerald green eyes.

She cleared her throat, scratching her neck. “Can we talk?”

“Oh, now you want to talk?” I said, maybe a bit to accusatory.

“What?”

“Oh, you know.” I shook my head, scoffing at her. “Its not like I have been waiting for, oh let me see… 10 YEARS for a sign of life from you… . But of course now you want to talk.”

“Camz, look I was… .”

I quickly put my hand up, stopping her train of thought and pushed my self up, so we were eye to eye. I scanned her shocked face for a second and then shook my head. I still couldn't make sense of any of this.

“I waited every day for your call. 10 years! 10 years and then I hear you came back… and still nothing! I waited 10 years for you… and you… you don't even care, do you? Apparently you never even waisted a second thought on me or any of your friends that you left behind, huh? Just stay away from me… .” I spat out with so much bitterness that left Lauren almost speechless.

“Camz, I can ex… .”

“No. Don’t Lauren… I get it. You never cared.” I said shrugging, gathering my bag, trying to head into the hallway, but I felt Lauren taking a hold of my wrist.

“Camz, thats not true and you know it. Lets go somewhere and talk about this.”

“I don't think so… .” I said, trying to free my hand from her grasp.

“I thought we were best friends.”

This made me stop in my tracks. I let out a pained laugh, shaking me head at the raven haired girl in front of me. “Best friends?” I scoffed at her again. “Oh, is that what best friends do? I guess I have been the one doing it wrong the entire time.” I said in disbelieve, entangling my wrist out of her grasp.

“You didn’t just leave me Lo. You vanished! You never called, you never even send a damn letter, not even left as much as a sign that you were still alive, for all I knew you were just a memory. There was nothing from you. Nothing and you want to know what the saddest part is?” I asked, staring into her green eyes, swallowing the sob that threatened to escape.

“I’m still waiting for this goddamn call! … You don’t even know how dumb I feel. I trusted you!” I began to yell, feeling my anger turn into sadness.

Lauren swallowed hard, reaching her hand our for me, but I turned away and stumbled against the edge of the desk. “I cant do this right now.”

I quickly lowered my head in embarrassment and disbelieve, almost knocking Shawn over in the process. I muttered a quick ‘sorry’ and made my way into the hallway.

I felt my breath get stuck on its way out of my lungs and quickly tried to calm myself down. I needed air and more importantly I needed to get out of here. I knew I probably should have let her explain herself, maybe finally getting that explanation, that I had been waiting for, but I just couldn't.

Lauren’s POV

“Ugh.” I sighed, sitting down on the bench, dropping my head on the desk in front of me, groaning in frustration.

“Guess that didn't go as planned, huh?” Kehlani chuckled amused next to me. She slightly padded my back, only making it worse.

“Stop.” I said annoyed, brushing her hand off, only causing her chuckle to turn into laughter.

“Care to elaborate on what’s going on?”

“Nothing. Its just… .” I began, looking up at her and running a hand through my hair, sighing heavily. “I told you about Camila right?”

“Yea, the cute girl, your ex-best friend, that didn’t recognize you? Yea you might have mentioned her once.” Kehlani said sarcastically.

I had been going on about Camila for weeks and to be honest I didn’t even know how she was still putting up with me. We had met the first week after I had arrived back here. Apparently she was new as well and we had hit it of right away.

“You know… If I didn't know any better, I would say you’re more interested in that Cuban ass than in your boyfriends.” she chuckled, sipping on her drink.

I rolled my eyes at her. Maybe I talked a little to much about Camila, but never in that way. She loved to tease me nonetheless. So I shrugged it off, knowing she didn't actually mean any of it. The thought alone was just ridiculous.

“Don't be ridiculous. There no other than platonic feelings for Camz, we just have a lot of history.”

“Yea sure Laur... whatever floats your boat girl.” She shrugged, raising an eyebrow at me and sipping on her empty drink again. I frowned at her, pushing her shoulder and shaking my head at her dumb insinuations.

When the bell finally rang, announcing that it was time to head to class, we made our way towards history. That was, until a pair of hands grabbed me by the collar of my jacket and dragged me into the girls bathroom, slamming me not so nicely into the tiled wall.

Not expecting the impact, I pressed my eyes close, trying to get air back into my lungs, before I felt nails scratch donw angrily on my chest, leaving angry red marks in their wake.

“What the hell did you do?” Dinah hissed at me, her eyes showing nothing but rage and anger. She wasn't here to play.

I took me a second to keep up with what she was saying, but then I furrowed my brows, looking into her brown eyes. “Huh?” I intelligently responded, trying to get air back into my lungs, only to be pushed against the wall yet again.

“What. Did. You. Say. To. Camila?”

 

Does anybody actually read this? I swear this is getting better and happier, but should I even continue?


	7. Code Red

Since at least a couple of people seem to enjoy the story, here's the next chapter, I hope you like it.

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Lauren's POV 

"Huh?" I intelligently responded, trying to get some air back into my lungs, only to be pushed against the wall yet again.

"What. Did. You. Say. To. Camila?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused, trying to free myself from Dinah's grasp by pushing her back. I could tell she was furious, but she hadn't exactly caught me at the best time either. 

Dinah darted forward yet again, jabbing her elbow into my throat and causing my knees to almost buckle beneath me at the sudden action. My eyes went wide, as I stared back into Dinah's furious brown ones.

"I'm so sick of having to clean up your messes ,Jauregui! Don't you think you caused her enough pain?" She spat back at me, with her face so close that I could feel her breath ghosting over my cheek.

I blinked a couple of times, not sure what she was referring to. I hadn't seen Camila in 10 years and she wasn't even talking to me. What could I possibly have done? I tried pushing the blond away from me, in hopes of getting some needed oxygen back inside my lungs, but it only caused her to press down harder. 

My back was now pressed even more uncomfortably into the cold, tiled wall behind me, almost cutting off all of my air supply and I realized I had made a mistake.

"Dinah, I... didn't... say... anything." I struggled to say, bringing my hands up in surrender. 

"Bullshit!"

"Dinah, just...- ."I groaned, tapping her arm twice as a request for her to let me go. She carefully watched me through narrowed eyes, but slowly let up on me and began to use less force, finally allowing me to breath properly again. 

"I wanted to talk to her, but she blew me off. I didn't get to say anything."

Dinah still had her eyes narrowed at me, her brown ones were flickering between mine, looking for a lie. "I have a feeling you're lying."

"DJ, be positive!" I joked, knowing this wasn't the right time, but I wasn't having it anymore. Why was she even accusing me? I literally hadn't done anything. I just wanted to talk to her and she had gone off on me, without letting me explain myself, if one was pissed it should be me. 

"Okay, I'm positive you're lying!"

I rolled my eyes at her, letting out a defeated sigh. "Look, it was like I said, I wanted to talk to her, but when I tried, she blew me off. So I insisted that she just gives me a minute to explain myself, but she got angry and ran away. That's all." I explained, squinting my eyes at her; "What did you mean by cleaning up my messes?"

"So, what did you want to tell her?"Dinah asked, completely ignoring my question.

I closed my eyes, resting the back of my head against the wall behind me. I took in a deep breath, before looking back into her brown eyes.

"I know, I really owe you guys an explanation, I just wanted to talk to Camz first." I answered and Dinah finally took a step back and released my throat. She was still watching me carefully, raising her eyebrows and crossing her arms in front of her chest, wanting me to go on.

"I wanted to call. I really did, Dinah!" I pleaded, but Dinah didn't back down, she seemed to get even more angry, if that was even possible.

"The day that we arrived in California I had nothing else on my mind besides that phone-call, Dinah. I couldn't wait to get to the house, I remember that day like it was yesterday. When we arrived at the airport everything was messy and we had to go through so many check ups and there was a massive rain shower outside that drenched us from head to toe when we made our way to the cap. But the first problem I encountered was that our phone needed 24 hours to be activated and the 2nd one was that not only did I get drenched,but also the note Camila had given to me. I mean thankfully I could still sort of make out the numbers , but there were really smudged. The moment the 24 hours were over I tried calling Camila, but I ended up calling at some retirement home. I tried every possible combination of the number, hoping that she had just mixed up one of the numbers but it didn't work." I explained, letting out a deep breath. I leaned back against the wall behind me, looking anywhere but at Dinah.

"I tried everything Dinah! So when I realized I wasn't getting anywhere I tried calling you guys, but Normani had moved and her old number wasn't available anymore and I didn't have yours. I tried asking my Mom for help, but she was to busy with everything else, especially since she found out that she had gotten pregnant with Taylor. I asked my Dad to help me out and he did, but we really didn't get very far. He went through the whole phone book and tried the Internet but none of the Hansen's fit the description. So we gathered that the number was assigned to your Grandma or Grandad and that left us back to square one. Dinah, I didn't know what to do anymore, I annoyed my parents every day because I was fucking helpless. There was nothing I could do to talk to you guys or even let you know that I had arrived. I wanted to talk to all of you so bad! I had no one! At least you guys had each other... ."

"I didn't know." Dinah simply stated, uncrossing her arms from her chest and giving me an apologetic look.

"Dinah, I tried. I really did. And you know what, you all seem to forget that I never wanted to move there. ... but of course I'm the one being made responsible for something that I had no control over...!" I spat out, feeling angry tears stinging in my eyes. I swallowed them, rapidly blinking them away not wanting to get even more emotional in front of the other girl.

"There is one thing I don't get though." Dinah said, scratching her head. "You have been back for weeks, why didn't you say anything?"

"What was I supposed to say?" I said exasperatedly, throwing my arms up in the air. "Oh, hey remember me? We were friends 10 years ago. None of you guys even recognized me! Don't you think that was my first thought when my Dad told me we were moving back here? I was so scared and at the same time so happy and then I get here and what? I see Camila and she walked right passed me. We were sitting in the same class and she didn't even recognize me! I didn't know if she was angry with me, didn't recognize me or didn't want to recognize me!"

I left out the part where I felt like Camila had broken my heart that day. I had thought of them, especially Camila- almost everyday. Hoping Dinah and Normani were sticking to their promise and wondering what they all were doing, wondering if they did the same, but apparently they weren't. I guessed I was just easy to forget. I remembered every second of that short encounter and it was replaying in my head ever since. She had looked so beautiful, her dark brown eyes, her perfect body and that stunning smile that could so easily take my breath away.

"You and I both tried out for softball and you obviously had no idea in the beginning who i was, so I just guessed you guys had already forgotten about me. I was hurt, so I ignored all of you. And don't even deny that you and Normani didn't recognize me at first." I scoffed wiping subtly at my eyes, trying to hide the tear that had threatened to roll down my cheek.

"Shit, I'm sorry Laur." The younger girl said a little shocked at my admission. "I know Normani and I should have handled this better, but I can promise you that Camila had no clue that you were back!"

I nodded my head, not trusting my voice not to crack. I had to admit that I maybe should have approached them earlier, but we all make our own snowballs out of our bad decisions that become massive and chase you down the hill only to crush you in the end. I knew I was probably going to pay for it now.

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Camila's POV

"Camila, you should make us eat dirt, make us grovel, give us the silent treatment, anything." Shawn pleaded.

He had been feeling horrible since the day Lauren had approached me during lunch. That's when Normani had told him, that they had told me, that they all had known that Lauren was back and that he also had been partly involved in keeping that information away from me.

"Shawn, If you give us the silent treatment, I will eat dirt!" Dinah said annoyed, shoving him slightly.

"I already told you it's fine. I get why you all did it." I said, leaning against the back of my chair.

"I don't know. I still think you should mak...-" Shawn began again, but Dinah quickly cut him off. "So, when are you finally going to talk to her?"

I shrugged, not really wanting to think about it. It was really weird. I had waited so long for an explanation, going over every possible possibility as to why she hadn't called, but now when I could just ask her, I didn't want to know. Why? I guessed because I was afraid. Afraid of what? Finding out to much? Too little. Nothing at all. Something I didn't want to know.

Aren't we always making decisions, the constant trying to pick between two options. I chose option 3. Running away from my problems, it sounded like a sensible plan!

The next days, Dinah kept imploring that I go and finally talk to Lauren. But I just couldn't find the courage to do it. Lauren had tried approaching me a couple of times, but I usually made up a quick excuse to get away. Lauren and I were apparently even sharing classes, which confused me to no end, had she always been there? Why had she never caught my eye before? Had Lauren known that we were sharing classes before I ran into her? If she did, it only proved my point further that she didn't want anything to do with me. She had probably made the conscious decision of not approaching me before, I reminded myself.

 

"Did you talk to her?" Dinah asked.

"It's the same answer you have been getting for the past days, so no I haven't talked to her." I answered annoyed, opening the passenger door to her car and climbed inside.

"Okay, Chancho you need to talk to Lauren. I really think you need to hear what she has to say! It's not my place to tell you, but believe me when I tell you that she had a good reason."

I squinted at the girl in the drivers seat, "You talked to her?"

Dinah slammed the door shut, looking back at me with raised eyebrows. "Yes, unlike other people I like to confront my problems head on... Look, I'm just saying that you should listen to what she has to say and then make a decision."

"What did she say?" I asked quietly, not meeting the Polynesians eyes.

"Like I said, that's not my place to tell... Just step up, go to her and you know... talk."

"Fine... Okay, I will." I mumbled, looking at my hands in my lap.

"You should do it after Softball tomorrow!"

"I don't know DMac."

"Oh. My. God, Mila. I will beat you if you don't show up tomorrow and thats a promise!"

"Okay, okay... Gee, you don't have to threaten physical violence." I said, smiling slightly at the Polynesian.

"Obviously I do."

"I think you should stick to beating Mani up out of love. For me, I'd prefer hugs and kisses."

"I'm not gonna kiss you, thats for sure." Dinah laughed next to me.

"Hmm, one day you will. ...I know you want to." I cockily replied, raising my eyebrows suggestively, looking at Dinah who rolled her eyes at me.

"That's kinda gay Mila."

"Way to ruin our moment, Cheechee." I laughed, shoving her slightly, gaining another eye roll from her.

I barely had gotten any sleep. I was anxious to talk to Lauren, especially about what she was going to tell me. But I knew I couldn't keep running from this. If I would do this, I would do it prepared. I wanted to have witty answers and come backs for anything she would throw at me. All day I had anticipated the end of school, more specifically the end of Softball-practice. I had a project to finish so after school, I made my way into the library and got to work.

Once I looked at my watch, I realized that Softball was coming to an end and that it was time to confront my fear. I swung my bag over my shoulder and made my way to the field.

I could see that they had already packed up most of the stuff and Dinah was impatiently waiting for me by the bleachers. She looked at me and was not so subtly tipping on her watch, nodding her head towards were Lauren was standing with another girl. I rolled my eyes at her action and made my way across the field towards the green eyed girl.

She looked really good standing there, with her very well fitting uniform next to the bench, sipping on some water while a very tattooed girl was standing next to her, talking. When I had made my way almost halfway across, a boy came into view, also making his way towards Lauren.

All the preparations I had done, did not prepare me for what happened next. I watched as the boy walked up to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, leaned in and kissed her.

I stopped in my tracks, eyes going wide as I watched Lauren reciprocate the kiss. I could feel the heat rising to my ears, as I felt my chest tighten the slightest bit. Somehow the sight send fury flooding my veins. Was this Laurens boyfriend? Did she have a boyfriend? Well obviously it was. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, nor was I sure why I should feel any way about that, shouldn't I be happy for them? Instead breathing seemed to have become an issue, as I was barely able to get air into my lungs. My head was spinning and my eyes began to water. My hands began to sweat and my legs felt like lead, as an undefined feelings was cursing through my veins. Fear of something unknown. I tried to slowly regain control of my breathing and made a beeline for the bathroom.

Thankfully it was empty. I quickly made my way inside one of the stalls and slammed the door shut. What the hell was happening? I leaned my arms against the door, resting my head in between them, taking in deep breaths.

Lauren was killing me. I couldn't do this. Hearing Lauren out, would mean having to be around her while she was sucking face with whats-his-name'. I don't know why, but watching someone lay hands on Lauren was wrong, I didn't necessarily understood why though,- Well, I did, but that couldn't be right, could it? I wasn't even sure if I liked girls like that, it had to be something else... I was way too young to know for sure, right?

The door to the bathroom opened and I heard a pair of shoes click their way inside.

"Camila?" A voice that I didn't recognize rang through the bathroom. I quickly wiped at my eyes, taking a deep breath in, gathering all my strength and opened the door.

"Yes"

A blond girl was standing in front of me. She was wearing bright pink clothes, that almost blinded me, making me instantly look at the dirty ground.

"Dinah asked me to check if you drowned in the toilet, I'm glad you didn't." She said with an heavy Texan accent, her voice feeling like its traveling through a blanket of cotton to me.

"Oh, Lucky me." I said, ducking my head, making my way around her.

"Hey, are you okay? You look a little shaken up?" the girl asked concerned. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath before turning towards her again.

"Fine, thanks." I said, even managing a small smile. She narrowed her eyes at me, but before she could say anything else I quickly made my way outside and towards Dinah's car.

I watched Dinah for a moment, she was already sitting in her car and taking selfies. I knew what she was about to ask the moment I would enter the vehicle and it almost made me contemplate to walk the 40 minute walk home. What was I even supposed to say? I had a slight panic attack because I saw Lauren making out with her boyfriend? I don't think so.

I sighed and opened the door, taking a seat, already feeling brown eyes starring holes into my skull.

"Soo?" Dinah began, drawing out the word. "How did it go?"

"It didn't." I said, turning my face towards the window, so she couldn't see it. To my dismay thats when Lauren and her boy walked passed hand in hand, almost making me want to vomit. I looked down, deciding that my jeans had a really pretty color.

"What do you mean it di..-" Dinah began, but suddenly stopped. There was a long pause and I decided to look up at her. She was looking right passed me and confused I followed her gaze to the couple a few yards from the car.

"Shit! I thought he'd be at Cross Country. Shit, sorry Mila. I didn't know he would be here today."

I quickly frowned at her implications, feeling a blush creep on my cheeks. What did Dinah know? Did she know? Oh my god! I swallowed hard, trying to play dumb. "Why do you think I care if some boy is here, Dinah Jane?" I asked, feeling my heartbeat pick up.

"I... I just, well I thought it be better if you two talked without someone lurking over your shoulders" Dinah said, not catching my eyes.

I still watched her carefully, but she turned towards the steering-wheel, turning the keys in the ignition. There was an uncommon heavy silence lingering in between us.

I looked out of the side-window trying to forget what I had just seen, or what Dinah might be thinking about.

I almost jumped, when I felt a warm hand on my thigh, but then Dinah reached out for my hand and rubbed comforting circles with her thumb. I looked at her confused, but she kept staring ahead.

If I hadn't been avoiding Lauren before, I sure as hell was now. The weird thing was, the more I tried to avoid her, the more I ran into her. It was like a cruel joke the world was playing on me. I tried to dodge her in the classes we shared, I would come to class right with the bell and was the first to leave once the bell rang. If I saw her in the hallway I kept my head down or plugged my headphone in my ears, the universal sign of 'please leave me alone'.

I was doing pretty good at dodging her,- at dodging Dinah's questioning not so much. I usually stuck to Normani and Shawn, knowing they would push the issue.

I was currently sitting at lunch, watching Lauren and her boyfriend. According to Normani his name was Keaton and apparently they have been dating for 2 weeks. I watched annoyed as Keaton casually leaned towards Lauren, probably looking cooler than I ever could. He said something and they both laughed.

"Earth to Mila!" Shawn said, waving his hand in front of my face, finally succeeding in getting my attention.

"Huh?"

"You haven't heard anything what I just said, have you?" he asked a little upset.

"I'm sorry Shawn. I was just thinking about our history test." I lied weekly, my eyes flickering back to Lauren and to my horror our eyes met. My cheeks turned red and my throat suddenly felt tight. I begrudgingly watched as Keaton reached out with his grimy hands on Laurens chin, pulling her attention back to him.

"Sure. History." Shawn chuckled, apparently having followed my line of sighed. "So, are you going?"

I cleared my throat, feeling a little embarrassed at being caught, before turning my gaze back to him. "Going? Going where?"

He rolled his eyes at me, but began to chuckle again. "To the party, duh!"

I was still confused and apparently it was obvious as he took in another deep breath and laughed again. "Zayn's throwing a party on Friday, everyone is going."

"Are you going?"

"Absolutely!"

The statement slightly shocked me. Shawn hated parties almost as much as I did. I usually would make something up to get out of those situations. I just never knew what to do with myself and would end up somewhere in the kitchen looking for food until Normani or Dinah would decide that they had enough and wanted to go home. Yeah, I definitely preferred staying at home and watching Harry Potter over some party.

"I cant. My parents are going out Friday and I have to look after Sofi."

"Oh!" Shawn answered rather sadly. "Maybe they can get a babysitter or something."

"No its fine. I like looking after her." I said chuckling and began peeling my banana.

"Yea I know." He said, looking deep in thought for a moment. "Hey, what if I just come over friday and we can do something fun together."

"Sorry, you know that I'm not allowed to have boys over when my parents aren't home."

My parents and sister actually really loved Shawn. We had spent almost all summer together either at his or my place, trying to make up songs and planing out a fictional music career. To my dismay tough, my mother liked him so much that she had even begun trying to set us up any chance she got. I was sure they would make an exception for him, but maybe some time alone would do me some good.

"Oh, right. I forgot." he chuckled slightly, scratching his neck obviously uncomfortable.

"Have you talked to her yet?" He suddenly asked out of nowhere, almost making me choke on my banana.

"To Lauren? No, not yet. I just don't know how to approach her, you know?" I lied and quickly finished my banana.

"Right... Well maybe its better if you stay at home Friday anyway. I heard Keaton is coming and Lauren will most likely be there with him too." He said nonchalantly.

"Well that settles it then." I said, getting up from my chair. "Definitely not going to that party." I chuckled uncomfortably, making my way to the next class.

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The night had gone pretty smoothly. Sofi and I had been snuggled up all night, eating pizza and watching Harry Potter. I knew that this was definitely better than any party I could've gone to yet, I couldn't stop thinking about a certain green eyed girl and what she was doing at that party right now. 

Sofi had fallen asleep half way through Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets, leaving me to my thoughts, wondering why I couldn't just focus on the damn movie. I sighed deeply accepting the fact that I was just unable to focus on anything other than Lauren. I slowly got up and lifted Sofi into my arms, carefully carrying her upstairs into her room. I laid her down in her bed and tugged her under the blankets, leaving a quick kiss to her forehead and made my way back inside my room, leaving her door only ajar. 

I remembered that I still had some Maths homework to do and decided to finish it and then go to bed. I was almost done with it, when I started hearing a tapping coming from outside. It sounded almost like a rapping on a drum without any distinct rhythm. 

My eyes drifted towards my bedroom window, feeling slightly anxious, I swallowed hard, trying to concentrate back on my maths homework again. I figured if I ignored the noise my paranoia and the disruption would just go away. 

The house began creaking and groaning, telling me my assumption was not entirely so however. I stopped breathing for a second and slowly got up from my chair, walking into the hallway to switch on the lights to hopefully scare away any possible intruders. 

The floor in the hallway felt cold against my bare feet, as I made my way back inside my room. The room was mostly dark, apart from the night lamp on my desk and the moonlight that was steaming in from my window, making the atmosphere more ominous. I made my way back to my desk almost stealthily, but movement outside my window captured my attention. My eyes quickly widened as I tried to make sense of the dark figure standing in front of my window.

A screamed ripped through my throat and out of my mouth. I quickly walked backwards, wanting to run and get to my phone, but instead I ended up tripping backwards over my chair and fell to the ground with a loud thud. 

My body started freezing up as I stared back up at the dark figure outside my window in terror and my heart was beating erratically from the stress and danger that I was possibly in.

I watched as they leaned down, tapping with something against my window, scarring me to my bones. Leave it up to me to trip and fall in font of my killer.

Suddenly green amused eyes caught my attention and I realized that the killer wasn't a killer, but it was Lauren. I quickly brought my hand up to my mouth to cover up my shrieks.

Relieve was flooding my system as I exhaled the longest breath I had ever taken. My muscles began to uncoil again and I slowly brought my hand from my mouth to my chest. 

Lauren was still smirking at me from outside the window, motioning for me to let her in. I released another deep breath before getting back on my shaking feet and making my way to the window. I glared intensely at the other girl, before i opened the window for the raven haired girl outside. 

"What the hell Lauren?" I whisper-yelled at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you too." She smirked, drawling out the words, was she drunk?


	8. After Midnight

"What the hell Lauren?" I whisper-yelled at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you too." She smirked, drawling out the words, was she drunk?

I must have hallucinated because there was no way Lauren Jauregui had just climbed up onto my roof and was standing- well more like swaying- in front me right now. 

"What are you doing here?" I repeated in shock, blinking incredulously at her.

A warm buzz radiated off of her and a huge smirk graced her lips, leaving me frozen in my place. "I wanted to see you." Lauren slurred happily, shrugging her shoulders like it was the most obvious thing in the world and for some reason butterflies began their course through my stomach. 

"So, you couldn't wait till Monday?" I asked still in slight shock, but Lauren only proceeded to chuckle at me.  
She then reached out for the window sill, pulled herself up on it, not caring to wait for an invitation inside any longer.

She tried lifting her foot onto the window sill, but failed miserably, her foot slipped up from the edge and she began stumbling backwards, her arms flailing in front of her in an hopeless attempt to get a hold on something, anything. 

I held my breath and for a second I thought that was it. I could already see Lauren laying on the hard pavement in front of my house, with her limbs twisted grotesquely, but somehow my body acted on autopilot. I darted forward, arms reaching out for her and I manged to grab the collar of her leather jacket just in time and held on tightly.

Her fingers quickly engulfed my wrist with a death grip that was so tight, that I was sure it was going to leave a bruise. I stared at her wide eyed, wondering how the heck she had manged to climb up here without breaking her neck in the first place.

She also stared back at me, with wide shocked eyes, seemingly having realized that she had almost faced death himself, but then a smile began to stretch on her lips again and she proceeded to chuckle at me in amusement, like she hadn't just given me a heart attack and a lifetime of nightmares. I quickly helped her inside, afraid that she might have another brilliant idea that would probably leave her with a twisted neck.

Once she was safely inside my room and away from potential danger, I quickly let go of her again, taking a step back to actually look her over. She was wearing a dark leather jacket with a white crop top underneath. Her perfectly-curled wall of long, raven hair framed her face and her jeans were fitting her so well, that I almost wanted to scream at how good she looked. I swallowed hard, burring all those thoughts as deep as I could. 

I watched Lauren strolling through my room, occasionally bumping against furniture, as I was still trying to catch my breath from the near death experience I had just experienced for Lauren. Ay Dios how should I even have explained that to my parents? I shook my head trying not to think about it.

"I love what you neglected to do with the place." she chuckled, words strung together a little to close as she looked around my room.

Red tainted my cheeks and I became instantly self conscious about how messy my room was. I should probably have listened to my Mama when she had told me to clean up this morning. To my defense though, I hadn't expected for anyone to show up today, or to climb up my house and show up in front of my window in the middle of the night. 

"Lauren what are you doing here?" I repeated for the third time tonight, getting more aware of the fact that Lauren didn't leave me a way to run -showing up to my house like this and I almost wondered if she had done it on purpose.

I watched as she turned around and looked at me, almost scrutinizing me with her unsteady, emerald green eyes. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, as her eyes drifted over my minion pajamas.  
Lauren smiled delirously, looking like she was chasing some far away thought in her mind, when she slowly began moving towards me, almost like a predator would move towards their prey. She came to a stop inches in front of me and reached out for my wrist.

I gulped, feeling like I had lost the ability to breath and speak.  
I watched the raven haired girl almost completely paralyzed as she ran her fingers over the bracelet that she had given to me along with the promise of forever.

"You're still wearing it." Lauren stated a little astonished, taking my hand in her own to look at the bracelet more closely.

I could feel her slim fingers run along my hand and to my wrist.  
I swallowed hard, as I felt an electric current shooting through my fingertips, surging along the veins of my arm and electrifying my heart. It started beating faster as the volts gave it a racing charge. I cleared my throat, taking a step back, quickly retrieving my hand from her grasp.

"D-don't you ever do that again." I stuttered, pointing vaguely at my window, hoping to shift the conversation somewhere else. "You almost died!"

Her amused eyes found mine again and she even had the audacity to smirk all innocently back at me, before taking a step back as well and letting herself drop down backwards onto my bed.

"You know being dead really changed my life!" Lauren said cheerfully.

"It does that for a lot of people, Lo."

She lifted her head from the bed, looking at me almost dazed and then out of nowhere she began to laugh. It was the sweetest sound I had ever heard and I was incapable of not smiling back at her. I shook my head and sat down next to her. "You're drunk!"

"Well, no shit Sherlock." Lauren laughed again and all I wanted was to record the sound, bottle it up and get the image of the sound waves inked into my skin. I felt Lauren poke my arm, begging to get my attention, but I couldn't look at her right now, afraid of what my heart might make me do. 

"Why didn't you go to the party?... Was it... Was it because of me?" I heard Lauren ask almost cautiously behind me.

I quickly turned to look at her, but she looked away. There were a lot of things Lauren and I still needed to talk about, but I never meant for her to think that I actively disliked her, actually the complete opposite was the case. Lauren turned her head towards me again, looking curiously and almost afraid at the same time when our eyes met and I knew she was afraid to read the truth in my eyes. I blinked, quickly shaking my head, it wasn't true, well it wasn't all true.

"No, my parents are out and I'm babysitting my little sister." I explained and I could instantly read the obvious relieve in her face. 

"You have a sister?"

"Yes, her name's Sofi." I nodded, smiling back at her, almost having trouble not to laugh at the trouble Lauren seemed to have holding my eye contact in her drunken state. 

"Where is she?" the green eyed girl asked excitedly, pushing herself back up from my bed and onto her very unsteady feet. 

"In bed. Where you should probably be as well." I stated, giggling at her eagerness.

"Well... That, I can change." she slurred again and this time I couldn't help but laugh as she quickly dropped back onto my bed, letting out a loud groan of satisfaction, pulling my pillow towards her and snuggling up into it.

The mention of my sister suddenly made me realize that my parents would probably come home any second and I could feel the panic settling in my bones. They would be more than a little disappointed with me if they found out I have company without asking them first. Well, at least it couldn't be that bad since Lauren was a girl, but the fact that its Lauren, -the Lauren who had broken my heart wasn't really helping the situation. I hadn't even told my parents that she was back yet. Of course it hadn't been Laurens fault that she had left, but I knew that my father definitely made her responsible for the fact that she had never called me, not once. 

The name 'Lauren' was banned as long as he was around, because he couldn't bear the thought of how lost and broken I had been when she had left and never called back. It had been a hard time for him as well and I wondered what he would do once he found out. Maybe I could explain the situation to him, but then it hit me hard, I didn't even now Laurens reasons, nor the situation.

"Lauren, what are you doing?" I asked, yanking the pillow out from under her head, gaining an unpleasant groan in response. "I think it's time for you to leave!"

"Nope! I don't agree." Lauren mumbled, pulling the covers over her head, apparently trying to hide from me.

"Lauren!"

When she wouldn't react to me, I tried pulling the blanket away from her, but ended up unsuccessfully, letting out an annoyed huff.

"I'm serious Lo. You have to go."

Lauren slowly pulled the blanket off of her, lifting her head to look up at me, her raven waves in a wild tangle now, as she narrowed her eyes at me in question, "Why?"

"Because my parents will come home any minute." I answered calmly, throwing the pillow back onto my bed. I reached out for her, trying to pull Lauren up from my bed, but It was useless, as her drunken self mostly kept slumping over again.

"So? Its-not like we're-doing-anything." she slurred back at me, looking slightly euphoric and sleepy at the same time.

I felt the redness instantly running up my neck and into my cheeks at her implications and quickly coughed to cover up my furious blushing, that Lauren thankfully would never in a million years notice in her drunken state.

I began to realize that this was of no use and walked to my door, opened it and pointed towards the hallway. For the first time Laurens smile seemed to falter, her eyes flickered between mine and then she sighed deeply, finally giving up. She slid to the edge of the bed and pushed herself back up on her very unsteady feet, swaying from side to side as she barely was able to walk a straight line towards me.

I watched with raised eyebrows as she fumbled around in her jacket pockets and pulled out the keys to her car, almost stumbling over her own feet in the process.

"Uhm, ..." I pointed at the keys in her hands. "Yea, you're not driving anywhere in that state." I said, taking the keys away from her, as she gave me the 'Are you serious' look.

"Then how-am-I-supposed-to-get-home?" she asked frowning, slurring the words so badly that I was barely able to decipher them.

I couldn't help but smile fondly at her, as she was looking at me with heavy litted eyes and pouted with her bottom lip sticking out like a little kid.

"I don't know, not with your car, thats for sure." I stated, as she blinked at me with raised eyebrows.

"I really hope you didn't actually drive here."

There was a long silence and I wondered if she had even heard what I had said, but then she looked at me again and to my relieve shook her head 'no'. She was still swaying a lot, but when she tried pulling something out of her jacket, I was almost sure she would collapse.

"Fine... I'll call-Ke...-" she slurred again, but this time I wasn't able to catch the rest of it. She pulled her phone out and began fumbling with it, dropping it a couple of times and taking at least 7 tries until she finally got the password right.

I watched amused as she desperately tried to pull herself together, blinking her eyes repeatedly in an attempt to focus on what she was reading, until I really had enough and took the phone out of her hand and looked for Ke... myself.

She stumbled towards me, coming up to my side, almost leaning on me for support as I looked through her contacts. Her perfume was invading my senses and I could feel her breath ghosting over my cheek, causing my heart to beat harder against my ribcage.  
I shook my head from the sensation, trying to focus back on the task at hand, letting out a deep breath of relieve when Lauren pointed vaguely at the name 'Kehlani'.

I pressed the call button and let it ring until it went to mailbox. I tried once again unsuccessfully and let out a long exasperated groan. I could feel Laurens green eyes studying me intensely, but before I had time to question her, Laurens phone began to ring, showing the caller ID for Kehlani.

I quickly picked it up, holding the phone to my ear and heard music blasting through the speaker, causing me to quickly jerk away from it. I rubbed my ear with my free hand and listened to a girl screaming on the other end. I slowly brought the phone back to my ears, opening my mouth to say something, but then the call just dropped. I quickly pulled away, looking at the screen only to see that 'Kehlani' had ended the call and let out anther angry sighed.

I turned off the phone and held it out for Lauren to take, but I realized that she was watching me intently. I lifted an eyebrow at her in question. "What?"

Lauren only responded with a shrug, before giving me a quick once over. "You-just-look-so-be... " She stopped, swallowed hard and began to blink furiously, "... grown up." she finally managed to say and then tried to reach out for her phone, missing by a landslide.

I couldn't help but laugh at her pathetic attempt, but the second time she was more coordinated and snatched it right out of my hand, probably more encouraged this time to succeed. She was still eying me curiously, and I tried to suppress the urge to squirm under her intense gaze.

"What?" I asked again, scratching my neck self consciously.

"Nothing." she shrugged, before stumbling her way towards the door. I realized she was just about to leave, complying with my wishes, but I felt horrible. I really couldn't make her walk all the way home like this, only because I didn't want to talk about our past. I sighed deeply, quickly side stepping her and cutting her way to the door off. Without thinking, I quickly slammed the door shut and immediately winced at the loud noise, hoping that I hadn't woken Sofi up. 

"Fine. You can stay the night... but no funny business." I said, pointing a threatening finger at her. 

A huge smirk stretched almost evilly on the raven haired girls lips and I realized what I had said. My eyes went wide, like an owl, as my thoughts raced trying to come up with an explanation. 

"Are you sure?" Lauren asked skeptically, thankfully shifting the conversation and interrupting my train of thought, giving me a way out of this awkward situation.

"Yes... but only because you're drunk of your ass and I cant leave Sofi alone, neither can I let you walk home alone like that." I explained, gestured up and down her body.

"Are you saying I don't look good? Cuz-I-think-I-look-good." Lauren gasped, faking offense and I just rolled my eyes at her, slapping her arm.

"Autsch!" Lauren feigned hurt and pouted as she rubbed her arm dramatically. 

With Lauren here there were to many unknown variables and I couldn't even begin to predict the weight of the decision that I had just made. I knew I was playing with fire, but somehow I couldn't help myself. The fire was dangerous but also enticing and I just couldn't help it. I wanted, -almost needed to enjoy the flames of her presents, now that I had her back. I was hooked the moment our eyes had met, inevitably addicted like she wasn't from this earth. She always had this unexplainable hold on me and I began to slowly understand why even if I wasn't quite ready to admit it just yet. 

Lauren let out a loud groan, shaking me out of my thoughts as she struggled with her leather jacket. She stumbled, managing to trip over her own feet, as she tried to pull her arm out of her sleeve and half trying to pull the jacket over her head, stumbling unsteadily around on her feet and repeatedly bumping against my dresser. 

I grinned, shacking my head and took a hold of her arm. 

"Here, let me help you."

I had no idea how Sofi could sleep through all the racket Lauren was causing, but was very thankful for it. 

I helped Lauren pull her arm out of her sleeve and once she was completely free of it, I pressed the jacket to my chest, smelling a heavy scent of cigarette smoke coming off of it. I didn't think much of it, until I placed it needly on my chair and a cigarette-packet fell out of one of the pockets and landed on my floor. I frowned, picking it up and gave Lauren a puzzled look, who only sat down in front of my bed again, not acknowledging me.

"You smoke?"

"Don't tell my Mom." she said secretly, winking at me and holding her index finger in front of her lips.

I rolled my eyes for the 100th time and put the packet back inside her jacket pocket, zipping it up before they would fall out again and my Mama could suspect they were mine. She would probably make me eat one and then literally strangle me to death.

"Let's talk." Lauren said out of nowhere, patting the space next to her, indicating for me to sit down. 

I chuckled at her again. She was barely able to hold my gaze, I had a feeling this was going to be a very one sided conversation. I made my way over towards her and sat down, leaning my head against my edge of my bed. 

Lauren leaned over, bringing her face unnecessarily close to mine, a strong smell of tequila and cigarette smoke tickling my nose as she spoke. 

"I suck, Camz. I really hope you-can-forgive-me." She began to slur, barely able to coherently form the words. I could see the frustration in her eyes. She wanted to explain herself, but found herself unable to in her intoxicated state. I watched as she began to nervously fumble with her phone, smashing it against the floor multiple times, until I reached over and took it away from her, afraid that she might break it in her alcohol induced haze. 

"I'm glad I drank." She suddenly admitted, causing me to scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion.

"And why is that?"

"Well, first off you would have thrown-me-out if I wasn't." Lauren chuckled, holding up her index finger. "And because you cant avoid-me-like-you have done for the-past-weeks."

Even though Lauren was more than a little drunk I could hear the sadness in her voice and I had to look away feeling ashamed of myself, knowing it was the truth. Part of my was still not ready to actually confront Lauren, but I also knew I couldn't run from this forever.

"Does Keaton know you're here?" I asked, clearing my throat.

For a second Lauren looked confused and then she frowned at me, not understanding what I was trying to ask. 

"Keaton? Your boyfriend?" I clarified and apparently it took a moment to sink in. I could pinpoint the moment realization hit her and watched as her frowned deepened even more and her eyes went a little wider.

"Oh shit!" she slurred even worse this time. "I forgot-to-tell-him... crap! ...oh-well, he'll get over it."

"Are you sure? I don't want you guys to fight because you're with me."

"Don't worry about it." she said, waving her hand absentmindedly, before leaning her head on my shoulder. She turned her head so she was looking up at me and I could feel her breath ghosting over my neck as she breathed, causing a shiver to run down my back and I instantly tensed at the sensation, it made me beyond nervous. My breathing became shallow and I began to fidget, feeling my heart skip a beat.

"I really missed you Camz." I barely heard her say through the pounding in my ears and quickly closed my eyes, feeling her hot breath tickling my neck. I didn't know how to respond to that, or if I was even capable of responding at all. I could swear my head was going to implode with what Lauren was doing, so I jumped up on my feet, almost stumbling over my own feet as I quickly scrambled for much needed air. 

"I should probably get you something you can sleep in." I said in such a high pitched voice that instantly made me wince. I turned my back towards Lauren and made my way to my drawer, pulling out a pair of sweat-pants and a black shirt that I hoped would fit her. 

In my still hazy mind I quickly threw the clothes at her, hitting her square in the face, before her arms came up way to late to catch them. It looked so comical that I wasn't able to contain my laughter. "Wow, you have the reflexes of a dead cat."

She glared at me, got up and pulled off her top, exposing her upper body to me. My laughter instantly died in my throat as I starred at her with wide eyes, that was until Lauren reached behind herself to open her bra, when I realizing what I was doing and quickly turned around, closing my eyes and slapping my hands in front of my face.

"What are you doing?" I almost shrieked. I really hadn't thought that through, had I? 

"Uhm, ...planting daisy's? What do you think I'm doing?" She answered sarcastically, obviously oblivious to the effect she had on me. 

"Uh... there... uhm... ." I stumbled over my words, pointing to the door on the other side. "... bathroom, uuuh there is a bathroom. I mean... you can change in there."

I mentally slapped myself, when I heard her chuckle behind me and immediately I could feel my ears go red.

Suddenly something hit me from behind and I turned around, carefully looking through the spaces in between my fingers. Lauren was still standing in the same place as before with her jeans still on, the only difference was the black shirt she was now wearing. I decided to make my way into the bathroom, afraid that she might decide to change into her sweats with me still in the room and I was sure I would most likely end up fainting in front of her.

I made my way around her, but thats when she reached out for me and her warm fingers engulfed my wrist, stopping my movement at once. 

"Camz?"

"Huh" Was all I manged to say, as our eyes locked.

"I really wanted to call you...-"

"Maybe we should talk about that when you're sober." I said, quickly cutting of her train of thought, looking away. Lauren apparently fueled by liquid courage took a step closer towards me, as she let go of my wrist and slowly brought her hand up my arm and to my chin, tilting my head upwards, so she could look into my eyes. My body was completely paralyzed as I stared into her piercing emerald orbs. 

I bit my lip, trying to keep myself from doing something stupid, when Lauren tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and leaned in lowering her voice in a whisper. I could feel my nerve endings fire and I wasn't sure how my legs kept me standing upright. 

"Camila, the number you gave me didn't match your real one. I never forgot you! Actually I thought of you almost every day." She stated calmly, cupping my cheeks with both of her hands, holding my face steady and completely stealing my breath, as she continued to gaze deeply into my eyes. 

Even though I knew Lauren was heavily intoxicated I knew she was telling the truth, maybe especially because of the fact that she was drunk of her ass. But how could it be true? After all these years, it wasn't her but me who had fucked up? 

My guilt and pride were playing Russian roulette, unsure of what to make of it. I felt tears stinging in my eyes and quickly turned my face away from Lauren, wanting to detach myself from her, only for her to restrict my movement, bringing us even closer together. I kept my eyes closed, but I could feel her thumb carefully wiping the tear away that was slowly running down my cheek. My head began spinning at the lightning speed everything was happening and I knew I needed air and maybe some space.

"Maybe we can start again? Forget everything, all the pain, all the accusations that probably went around, all the guilt and the who is responsible for what bullshit. Let us just pick up where we left off. Like the day at the airport." She whispered, almost pleadingly, leaning her forehead against mine, leaving me wondering if she really was as drunk as I had thought.

Lauren was drawing the contours of a door with chalk on the wall, opening it and waited for me to join her. I wanted to and I wanted to believe that she actually meant everything she had just said, but I couldn't be sure if it was only coming from her intoxicated haze. I would pledge allegiance to the world of disbelieve right here and now if that would mean we could pick up on the day at the airport, even though deep down I knew regardless of what we did or chose to do, there were scars that still hadn't healed, regardless of who was at fault. 

I let out a deep sighed, reaching up for her hands and removed them from my face.

"I'll go change now."

Lauren was still holding onto my hands, staring into my eyes, desperately searching for something, but when she realized she wasn't going to get an answer she nodded her head in defeat and took a step back, allowing me to move freely again. 

I quickly hurried into the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it. I leaned my back against the door, slowly letting myself slide down, until I was sitting on the cold bathroom floor.

I shook my head burring my face in my hands as sobs began to rack through my body and tears streamed down my face. 

Had it all been my fault? All these years I had made up excuses for Lauren and why she hadn't called, sure deep down I hadn't really believed them myself, but I needed them. I never even entertained the possibility that I could have been at fault. 

And now Lauren was giving me an out. I was the one that had fucked up and she wanted to share the guilt and forget everything that had happened. I wanted that too, but how could I forget all these years I had spent missing her, suffering and thinking about her and that she didn't care about me when it was the complete opposite. 

I felt ashamed of how I had treated her the last weeks and all I wanted to do was to go to her, wrap my arms around her and apologize. I wanted that new start more than anything, but I was still afraid that this was something that came more out of a drunken haze than anything else. I knew I needed to talk to her when she was sober, but I was still afraid.

Once I had calmed down enough, I came to the realization that I already was in my pajamas. Oh shit! What did Lauren think now? Did she assume that I didn't want to start over? Had she even acknowledged that I was already in my Pj's? Of course she had. There was only one way to make this right. I slowly got up and opened the door to my room again, almost experiencing the third heart attack in one night.

Lauren was laying sprawled out on top of my bed, without pants on and a riled up shirt. At least she was wearing her damn underwear. I gulped and tried to contain my leering to a minimum.

Lauren was breathing heavily and was obviously already fast asleep. I climbed up on the bed, pulled out the blankets from underneath her, but was careful not to disturb her to much even though I was sure she would sleep through anything right now and threw the blanket over her half exposed body. 

With a loud groan I dropped down next to Lauren and snuggled into my blankets. I was laying wide awake and I couldn't help but think that I was in an unknown state of our friendship. I felt like I was Schrödinger's cat, locked in the box, waiting for Lauren to reveal the actual state of our relationship, was it still alive, or was it dead?

I took in a deep breath and glanced over to a peaceful looking Lauren, whose face was mostly hidden behind a curtain of wild dark hair.

"Lauren?" I whispered, even though I knew she was asleep.

"Lo?" I tried again and I could hear her taking in a deeper breath, before she began shifting her weight on the mattress.

"Hmm?"

My breath got caught in my throat again and suddenly I felt unsure. I tried to look at her, but her eyes were still mostly hidden behind that curtain of dark hair, so I took another deep breath in.

"I was serious about 'forever'." I whispered, referring to the bracelet and the promise we had exchanged at the airport 10 years ago.

I heard her let out a relieved sighed, before I felt her shift again and then she wrapped an heavy arm around me and I couldn't help but smile at the gesture, resting my own hand on top of hers. A sense of nostalgia hit me as I ran my hand up her arm.

"Good, so did I." I heard her mumble before she drifted back off into slumber.

 

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I try to keep the chapter at around 5000 Words, so this is divided into 2 parts. The next one will be the morning after. Thanks for reading and I hope you guys liked it so far. (Also I changed the rating to T)


	9. SNAFU

Sofi's POV

I was laying in my bed awake, for what felt like hours staring at my alarm clock, counting down the seconds until it was officially 9:30 a.m. I love Camila, she is caring, loving, determined and always there if I need her, the best sister one could wish for. She very rarely gets mad at me, even if I didn't deserve it, she would always pick my side, but when it comes to Morning-Camila thats a whole different story. Morning-Mila is grumpy and has a very short fuse. I had to learn that the hard way. That was also the reason why I patiently waited, until the clock would finally strike the awaited time.

Last night Camila looked after me and we had a lot of fun together. She had told me, that she was really glad that we finally got to spent some more time together, because lately we hadn't seen much of each other. We had ended up ordering pizza and apparently I had eaten so much, that all I was able to do was curl up next to her and let slumber take me away. I felt incredibly bad that I had fallen asleep on her, especially when my only excuse was that I had felt save and cozy with a full stomach and that it had been impossible to not let sleep take over.

I could tell that everybody was still asleep. I guessed that my parents must have arrived somewhere in the early hours of the morning, or I was sure that the house would already smell deliciously like cooked breakfast with the very distinct smell of coffee lingering in the air.

When I finally heard the beep from my alarm clock, I maneuvered myself out of my bed. My room was still dark, only the dim light from the hallway was shining through the small crack of my door, as I slowly made my way out of my room. My bare feet were the only sound that broke the almost sinister quiet of the house, as I was making my way to Camila's room.

I was hungry and I really wanted some eggs for breakfast. I figured that it was late enough, giving Camila no reason to be mad at me. I reached out for the door handle leading into my sisters room and slowly turned it. I quietly opened the door revealing the slightly dark room ahead. The sunlight was streaming through the curtains, bathing the room in a nice, warm yellow glow.

I smirked, as my eyes roamed over her sprawled out figure on the bed. Usually Camila would sleep curled up into a ball, perched on one side of the bed, hogging the covers, but today it looked almost comical. The blankets were twisted and tangled around her body and her quite pale looking legs were sticking out between the sheets. She was laying on her stomach, with her face buried in her pillow and her dark hair sprawled out around her head. Excitedly I made my way over in a run and hurled myself up into her bed.

"Wakey! Wakey!" I yelled, pushing myself up onto my feet, positioning them between her body and began jumping up and down.

Camila would usually groan for the first 5 minutes and angrily toss and turn around in her bed, until she was awake enough to pull me down and tickle me until I would surrender and give up. Today something felt a little different, but I couldn't exactly put my finger on what it was.

"Wakey, Wakey... I want eggs and bakey!" I continued yelling loudly, when suddenly I stepped on something bony. It felt weird under my foot and it quickly moved away from under me. Afraid that I had stepped on her hand and hurt Camila I quickly dropped down on the bed, careful not to fall down on her.

I let out a loud huff and when there still was no reaction from her, I began drumming my hands against her butt above the blanket.

"Uuuggh! 5 more minutes." She grumbled into her pillow, not even bothering to turn around. I smiled and ignored her, continuing my drumming and singing; "Wakey... Wakey I want eggs and bakey."

I watched her shuffle around for a moment and then her right hand reached behind her to stop my hands from drumming against her backside, but I quickly swatted her uncharacteristically pale hand away, laughing. Her arm kept flailing around, blindly reaching out for my hands. I watched it for a moment, stopping my ministrations at the uneasiness I was suddenly feeling.

My eyebrows screwed together and I shifted to the edge of the bed, only to lay down on something hard, but before I had time to check what that 'something' was, Camila lifted her head and began looking around, seemingly disorientated.

She groaned with a very raspy voice that most definitely did not sound anything like Camila and thats when the strangers green, bloodshot eyes finally locked onto mine.

My body was suddenly frozen, trapped in between fight and flight, as I stared at the stranger in front of me wide eyed. That was not my sister! Where was Kaki? I could feel the fear taking a hold of me and I jumped back in shock, falling backwards out of the bed. I screamed as loud as I could and made my way to my parents bedroom in a run.

"Maaamaaa! Papá! There is a stranger... !" I screamed as I saw my mother sitting upright in her bed, staring at me in confusion.

"Mama! There is a stranger in Kaki's bed!"

My Papá kept snoring contently without a care in the world, as my mother gave me a calculating stare, running a hand through her hair.

"What? Why are you screaming at this ungodly hour?"

Outraged I stared at her, throwing my arms up in the air and pointing into the hallway; "There is a stranger in Kaki's bed!"

"A stranger is in Karla's bed?" she repeated still looking confused.

"Yes." I stated taking in huge breaths, desperately trying to get the message across and to my relieve it seemed to finally sink in, as realization finally seemed to hit her and her eyes went wide in understanding.

She pushed my Papa until he almost fell out of the bed. He looked confused and I quickly repeated myself, still frantically pointing into the hallway.

He seemed to instantly snap into consciousness at my words and jumped out of the bed, grabbing a bat out of seemingly thin air and rushed into the hallway towards Camila's room. I ran after him, our bare feet tipping loudly against the wooden floor in unison.

The door to Camila's room was still wide open as my father rushed inside, the bat already raised and ready to attack.

I hid behind my father's body, but he came to a quick stop as he saw the stranger sitting up on the bed. She stared at both of us, running a hand through her hair, apparently very confused about what was going on.

Camila's POV

I awoke slowly, the fog of unconsciousness still lingered in my vision and my mind. I could feel a heavy arm resting on top of me and a certain warmth radiated from something on my back, that could only be explained as Lauren's body. I could hear someone yelling obnoxiously loud -something about bakey? Ugh! I tightly pressed my eyes shut, trying to drown out the voice that tried to tear me from the safety and coziness of my dreamland.

I felt the mattress dipping lower, before someone began jumping up and down. It was obviously Sofi who so unceremoniously tried to wake me up. I curled further into myself, not ready to wake up just yet, I brought the blanket even higher, almost hiding myself completely under it, pressing my eyes close and successfully drowning out my surroundings.

Sofi proceeded her yelling undeterred, until suddenly everything went quiet, followed by the sound of someone running out of the room. I sighed relieved almost unable to believe my luck and contently snuggled further into my blankets.

Sofi has never given up that quickly, usually she wouldn't stop until she successfully woken me up, but this was definitely a very welcome turn of events. I felt Lauren shift and all of a sudden the weight on top of me began moving and the warmth left with her body, causing me to almost shudder at the sudden loss of warmth that had been radiating from her.

Sadly and unsurprisingly it didn't take long for Sofi to return. I heard people talking in frantic voices, making me groan in frustration. Someone poked my back and I quickly swatted their unwelcome hand away. The racket continued and I really was getting annoyed at this point. Angrily I looked up, wondering why everyone was disturbing my sleep and what the hell was going on, when I looked right into my fathers brown, alert eyes.

I received another shove in my side, almost causing me to fall out of the bed. I tried taking in the scene in front of me with my vision still blurred, I quickly brought a hand up, rubbing the fog out of my eyes.

"Who are you?" I heard my Papá growl and the coldness of his voice instantly cleared the fog of my unconsciousness.

"Huh?"

Finally able to clearly see who was disturbing my slumber, I looked up and took in the scene that felt like something straight out of a horror movie. My father was standing in the middle of my room, with his bat raised in offense and my Mama was standing in the doorway with my sister hiding behind her.

Wondering why they were all standing in my room, my gaze shifted to were all my family members eyes were directed at and came face to face with a sleepy and horrified looking Lauren.

Lauren looked horrible and by the looks of it, she must be having the hangover of a lifetime. Her bloodshot, sleepy, green eyes were staring back at me in confusion and I couldn't help but give her a fond smile, as I took in the huge, dark circles under her eyes and her long, beautiful, dark hair that was wildly disarrayed.

I could feel my stomach doing flips, when I realized that we had spent the whole night snuggled up together.

"Camz?" Lauren whispered agitatedly next to me, shifting uncomfortably and quickly hiding her exposed legs under the covers.

I smiled even brighter at her, wondering why she looked half confused and half anxious, until I was reminded of the little detail that my parents were still standing in the middle of my room.

My mother was taking in the scene in front of her, seeing the warm smile I had directed at Lauren, she loudly began clearing her throat, quickly snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked back at her. She was standing in the doorway with her arms still crossed, raising an eyebrow at me in question, evidently waiting for an explanation. My gaze shifted to my father who seemed to be in a state of undecidedness, as his eyes continuously flickered between me and the girl next to me. He still had his bat raised, ready to attack at any moment Lauren would as much as look at me the wrong way and I began wondering where the hell he had gotten a bat, because I was pretty sure he didn't even know the rules for baseball.

Taking in their faces, I realized that they all had one thing in common, they all looked fairly confused about the sleepy girl next to me. Their minds were desperately trying to come up with an reasonable explanation for the situation we all had found ourselves in. There was a half naked female in their daughters bed and on top of that she was a stranger to them.

"Um, could anyone enlighten me about what is going on?" I questioned, letting my hand run through my messy hair.

"There is a stranger beside you!" My Papá said in a tone that suggested that I hadnt realized that little fact yet.

I stared at him, frowning "Why are you all making so much racket?... and why do you have a bat?"

My father looked about ready to give the bat a test drive, but then began lowering it, making the top of it thud loudly against the ground.

"Explain yourself, Karla!" My Mama said, looking almost funny standing there with her pink PJ's and her messy hair, trying to look intimidating.

"Who is she, what is she doing here?"

I looked over to Lauren, trying to come up with a quick explanation.

"Can you guys just calm down for a second? Laur... uhm, I mean she is no stranger. She is my friend." I said, frantically running a hand through my hair. I couldn't tell them the truth. I couldn't exactly drop the 'Lauren' bomb on them right now, especially when my father was holding a bat that he seemed to be itching to use.

"She came over last night because she had a fight with her boyfriend and needed someone to talk to, so I invited her to stay the night." I lied, hoping my mother wasn't catching on.

"You know you're not supposed to have friends over when we're not around." My mother said, giving Lauren a quick once over.

I furrowed my brows at her, it was never a problem for them if I had someone over unless it was a boy, which technically never even happened aside from Shawn, so I was definitely a little more than confused about her statement.

"I'm not supposed to have boys over when you guys aren't at home and she is neither a boy nor some stranger, she is my friend so I really didn't see an issue with her spending the night."

I watched as my parents exchanged a look that basically said 'friend? She never talked about a new friend!'.

Sure I didn't have tons of friends and usually stuck to my friend group that mostly consisted of Normani, Dinah and Shawn, but that didn't mean that I didn't interact with other people that my parents don't know of.

"Ookay, mija. I'm sorry... We're sorry... we'll just... we'll talk later... uh sorry." My Papá said slightly embarrassed, accepting defeat, as he slowly began backing out of my room, pulling Sofi and my mother with him, closing my door red faced.

I waited until the door was completely shut and turned to Lauren, smirking.

"Wow, that was... interesting." I said almost laughing at the look Lauren was giving me.

"That's not the word I'd use." Lauren said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "So, I'm having trouble with my boyfriend, huh?"

"Well, after last night you might... ." I mumbled, looking away uncomfortably.

"Naah, he'll get over it. He probably thought I went home or something, no biggie." Lauren said shrugging her shoulders and waving her hand absentmindedly.

I allowed my gaze to roam over her features and realized again how tired and groggy she looked. "You look horrible."

"Gee, thanks, Camz... ."

"No... that's not what I meant." I sighed, realizing how that must have sounded. I shook my head at myself. "Do you need something, water or some Aspirin? You look like you're having the worst hangover ever."

"I'm fine, but thank you. I think I'll better go home." She said, throwing the blankets away from herself and shuffling forward, perching herself on the edge of the bed.

"Do you need me to give you a ride? I'm sure my Papá won't deny me anything after what just happened." I said almost giggling at the ridiculousness of the situation we had found ourselves in a few minutes ago.

"No, its fine. Really. I think I just need some fresh air." Lauren mumbled, putting on her jeans from the night before.

"Uh, okay."

"Oh, hey about last night." Lauren began to say, scratching her neck nervously. "I'm sorry if I overstepped a line. I just... I probably shouldn't have drunk so much and I don't know... It was probably a mistake coming here last night while I had no filter, but you should know that I meant what I said last night. I really hope that we can pick up where we left of 10 years ago. You know, be friends again. I really missed this."

"I missed this too." I admitted to her, catching her green eyes, hopefully starring into mine. "And I meant it as well. I really hope we can go back to how things were."

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The rest of the day I couldn't keep my mind off of a certain green eyed girl. She was hunting my every thought, followed my every move and I was getting exhausted from all the running I had to do. I was glad that tonight was movie night with the girls and Shane.

I arrived at the Kordei's household and entered without knocking. The Kordei's house was almost always unlocked.  
I made my way to the living-room, already hearing multiple voices coming from inside.

"Dinah, can you not?" I heard Lauren say annoyed. Wait! Lauren? What the hell was she doing here? I thought we were going to have a lame movie night with some popcorn and crappy movies, why did no one inform me that she was going to be here?

I slowed down, almost peeking into the room in slow motion, when I spotted Lauren and Dinah sitting on the floor next to the coffee table, playing a game of Scrabble.

"What?" Dinah asked way to innocently.

"DJ, 'disdam' is not a word!"

I was unable to contain my laughter, when I saw that typical mischievous Dinah Jane smirk appear on her lips. Oh Lauren was not in for an easy game here. I let my gaze roam over the rest of the room, spotting another couple, it was the girl that I had met in the bathroom after softball practice, she was sitting on the couch with a boy that seemed to be her boyfriend.

Shawn was sitting on the Sofa, watching the girls with an amused look on his face that told me that Dinah had not been cheating for the first time since that game had started. Once he heard my laugh he looked up and gave me a shy wave.

"It certainly is!"

"Really?" Lauren asked exasperatedly, raising both of her eyebrows at the Polynesian, followed by a smirk. "Prove it, use it in a sentence."

The look on Dinah's face told me that she was hoping for Lauren to ask that exact question and I was already anticipating what she was going to say next.

"You're no good at 'disdam' game!" Dinah smirked proudly.

Lauren on the other hand did not look very amused, actually the complete opposite. I could hear her gears already turning and when she was about to open her mouth Normani saved us all from the lecture that surely was about to leave her mouth.

"Hey Mila!" She said waving at me. She walked over to the couple on the couch and sat down, motioning with her hand for me to join them.

"I cant believe you still hang out with these losers, Camz." Lauren sighed, pushing herself up on both feet.

"Hey! We're not done here. You cant just walk away from this game because you're losing! I'm totally wining by the way Mila!" Dinah told me, winking at me and gaining a eye roll from the raven haired girl next to her.

"How is it that I'm loosing when you only use non existing word?" Lauren asked exasperatedly throwing her arms up in the air.

"Guess someone's just a sore loser here." Dinah mocked, pointing her index finger at Lauren.

I smirked at both girls, a heavy sense of nostalgia hitting me, seeing those to bickering.

"I see you still haven't learned to tie your darn shoes, huh?" I laughed, nodding my head at Laurens shoes.

"No, I can. I just don't like doing it. Besides its more comfortable this way."

"So, I heard you and Lauren finally made up last night or should I say this morning?" Normani asked curiously, patting the space next to her on the couch, indicating for me to sit down.

"I cant believe you told everyone that I bedded you." I said smirking at Lauren and made my way over to Normani.

I could see the green eyed girls eyes narrowing at me and there was definite a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

"Technically I bedded myself."

"Ouch. I cant believe you just said that." I scoffed, mocking offense, but continued to smile warmly at her.

"Oh wow, okay. I guess you guys finally made out, huh!"

"Huh?" Lauren asked, turning towards Dinah.

"Wha-What?" I said in unison with Lauren, also staring wide eyed at Dinah, who looked fairly amused by the whole thing. She then cleared her throat amused, "I mean, you really made up. Thats good to know."

I narrowed my eyes at her, but she was already turning away and made her way into the kitchen giggling to herself. I shook my head at her in disbelieve and Lauren almost looked as taken aback as I felt.

"Oh, hey! By the way this is Ally." Normani began, pointing to the blond girl sitting the the sofa and then to the guy next to her. "And that is Troy. Guys this is obviously Camila."

We all greeted each other and then Ally and Troy went back to taking to each other. Shawn was talking about something that happened the other day in school, but I was almost incapable of focusing on him, feeling Laurens green eyes starring at me. I was just about to turn and give her a questioning look, when I heard a males voice coming from the doorway.

"Hey girls! You really should keep the front door locked, any idiot could walk in here." Keaton said, letting his hand run through his short, shaggy hair.

"Any idiot just did." I could hear Dinah yell from the kitchen and then I saw her peering out form the doorway, smirking at him.

He dramatically brought his hand up to his chest, his bottom lip sticking out." You wound me Hanson!"

Dinah winked at him and disappeared into the kitchen again. Confused I stared at the door-frame Dinah had been standing in seconds ago. When did Dinah and Normani become friends with Keaton?

I begrudgingly watched as Keaton walked over to Lauren and pressed a kiss to her lips, causing me to roll my eyes. If this would keep happening over the course of tonight I was sure my eyes were going to find a new home, they'd be stuck up there!

"Hey, you must be Camila, right?" He asked, walking up to me, extending his hand for me to shake. I watched him for a second and came to the conclusion that running away wasn't an option anymore. I sighed inwardly and got up, taking his hand in mine, smiling.

"Yes, I guess you're Keaton then."

"The one and only! Nice to finally meet you." He said, smiling brightly and let go of my hand again. He sat down next to Lauren, putting his arm over her shoulders, making me want to roll my eyes again.

I gave them a quick smile, before quickly making my way inside the kitchen.

"What is he... What are they all doing here?" I asked, catching myself from asking the actual question that was burning on my tongue in the last second.

"Normani invited them. Well, Normani invited Ally and Troy, but they told us that you and Lauren had made up with each other and she thought it would be nice to have her here as well. You know, like old times... Keaton just invited himself." Dinah said, shrugging her shoulders, not catching my eyes.

I leaned back against the kitchen counter, feeling very uncomfortable. I contemplated if I should maybe fake being sick. I didn't think I could spent a whole evening with Lauren and her boy toy, only the thought of me having to watch them made my stomach turn unpleasantly.

"Is there a problem with them being here?"

"What? No, of course not! I was just... I don't know... ."

Dinah looked me up and down. I could feel that she wanted to ask me something, but she bit her tongue and turned away from me.

"Then where is the problem?"

"There's none." I lied, crossing my arms in front of my chest, letting out a deep sigh. I watched Dinah turn around, raising a questioning eyebrow at me. I probably should have known better than to think that DJ would let me get away with this.

"I'm serious, there isn't. By the way what was that earlier anyway? You know the 'Did you guys finally make out' thing?" I asked annoyed, holding her calculating gaze.

"Just a mere slip of the tongue." Dinah blatantly lied to my face, scrutinizing me even further. Afraid to were this conversation might be leading I rolled my eyes and scoffed at her, leaving the room.

Normani had ordered some pizza and we all quickly began migrating to the living room. To my dismay I had somehow ended up on the Sofa with Keaton and Lauren. Dinah and Normani were sharing the second couch. Ally and Troy were content with sharing one of the chairs, while Shawn was sitting crossed legged on the floor, in front of the coffee table.

When most of the pizza was already eaten Dinah, Shawn and I were still eating the leftovers that no one else wanted.

I shoved some bread sticks into my mouth, followed by an almost complete peace of pizza, when I felt Lauren watching me again. I tried to close my lips around my bite in an attempt not to embarrass myself in front of Lauren, but failed, leaving me flushed and horrified by the fact that Lauren was witnessing all this. My cheeks puffed out like a squirrels and after a moment I resigned myself to my fate and gave up. I continued chewing with my mouth still slightly open.

Laughing, Lauren reached out for the napkins on the table near her and passed them over.

"You seriously haven't changed a bit. Why do you do this to yourself? No ones gonna steal your probably cold pizza." she chuckled and I really hoped that that was a good thing.

"Okay, who else wants to watch a horror movie?" Dinah exclaimed excitedly.

Everyone seemed to love the idea, well besides me and Ally.

"Do we have to?"

"No, please Dinah! I hate horror movies! I wont be able to sleep for weeks!" Ally pouted.

"Yes! Lets watch something less scary and more fun!"

"Don't worry, I'll be there to protect you!" Troy stated smirking, pulling Ally closer to himself. Ally on the other hand didn't seem very convinced by his statement.

"Lets just put it to a vote. Everyone who isn't a wimp and wants to watch a horror movie, raise your hand." Dinah said smirking and raised her hand.

I looked around and saw that Keaton, Lauren, Normani, Dinah and Shawn had their hands raised, while Ally pouted at Troy trying to convince him not to raise his hand, but apparently to no avail, we were already beat and Dinah shoved the CD into the DVD-Player, smirking at me.

Great, at least Ally had Troy and I had... a blanket -plus an even scarier happening sitting right next to me. Already hating myself for not just pretending to be sick and driving home, I came face to face with a horrifying picture right at the beginning of the movie.

I pulled up my blankets, ready to hide if I needed to. Everyone else in the room seemed to be snuggled up, while I was trapped with Lauren and Keaton on the couch. This night really couldn't get any worse. I resigned myself to my fate and turned my attention back to the movie.

We were watching 'Don't breath' and it was really intense. Within the first 20 minutes I watched agitatedly, ironically trying not to breath, completely enthralled by the movie. This movie was definitely not something I wanted to watch and I could already feel my body reacting to it. Shivers ran down my spine as fear took a hold of my insides.

I let out a shaky breath, as I watched the old blind man hunt down the poor teenagers who were trying to hide from him. At the sudden jump scare, I jumped and let out a loud squeak, gaining multiple giggles form everyone. I rolled my eyes, wanting to hide behind my blanket, but also I now wanted to know what would happen next. Goosebumps was covering every inch of my body and I almost experienced another heart attack when I felt slim fingers pulling on my blanket, slipped underneath, making their way over to my leg.

My body instantly tensed up when I felt fingers traveling higher, my breath hitching in my throat and I felt a hand taking a hold of mine, intertwining our fingers. But those weren't just any fingers, they were Laurens! I looked over at her, but she wasn't paying attention to me, staring straight ahead.

I turned my gaze downwards again to our covered intertwined hands and wondered why Lauren was doing that, when her boyfriend was sitting right next to her, it didn't make any sense. Apparently aware of my tense state I could feel her thumb slowly rubbing the back of my hand. I figured she just wanted to comfort me, knowing how much I hated scary movies and had no one to cuddle up to.

My body slowly began to relax again and for the rest of the movie Lauren was drawing out comforting circles with her thumb, even squeezing my hand at some very disturbing things displayed on screen. After we finally finished the movie we all fell into a comfortable conversations, until to my surprise Keaton addressed me.

"What about you Mila? Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked, seeming genuinely interested in my answer. Lauren immediately let go of my hand, leaving a tingling sensation in my palm.

"Uhm, no."

"Why not? ... But like, you have someone to hook up with right" He asked, his eyes not so subtly flickering over towards Shawn who instantly went red in the face. It was a dirty trick, because I was sure he knew exactly that Shawn and I were only friends. He pulled Lauren closer, riping me out of my thoughts, making me feel like he was trying to make a point.

"Not really. I'm not really into that sort of stuff." I answered nonchalantly, my eyes subconsciously flickering towards Lauren, who was playing with the blanket that was draped over her and Keaton's body.

"Hey! Maybe I can help you. I could hook you up, I mean if you want to. Tell me what kind of boys do you like?"

I stared at him, contemplating whether he was serious or not, but judging by the smile he was giving me, he tried and actually seemed to mean his words. I shrugged my shoulders, not brave enough to decline his offer.

"Do you like nerdy guys? What about jocks? Bad boys? ... You like bad boys, Camila?" he asked, sitting up straighter when he saw my face go completely red.

"You into the leather jacket thing? Tattoos, piercings... ?" He began questioning, already able to read the answers in my face, well obviously not all of the answers.

"Maybe I can set you up with some of my boys! I have the perfect match already in mind." He began trailing of and listing of boys that I would never be able to develop feelings for, as I only looked at the green eyed girl in his arms.

"Leave the poor girl alone." Lauren finally said. She pushed him away and moved over towards were I was sitting. She engulfed me in a hug and I instantly felt warm inside.

"She is literally the cutest, she could date anyone... I don't think she needs your help."

I was sure my face had never been more red that it was right now. The girls 'aww'ed' in the background as Lauren sported the biggest smirk, while Keaton playfully rolled his eyes at her.

"Hey look, she must be at least crushing on somebody right? I mean everybody is always crushing on someone. So who is your crush? Maybe I can help!"

"Mine is Lauren." I said faster than my mind was able to catch up with the words that were coming out of my mouth, but before I could slap my hand in front of my mouth, Keaton was already laughing, waving me off.

"Fine, then don't tell me. All I wanted to do was help and I get this... ." He said dramatically pushing out his bottom lip, making me and Lauren laugh at him.

"Stop making her feel uncomfortable!" Lauren said laughing and letting go of me again to punch his shoulder. He on the other hand had other plans. He quickly took a hold of her hand an wrestled her down to the ground in front of the couch, quickly pecking her mouth.

"Fine... Whatever M'Lady commands." He said with an British accent, helping her up from the floor.

I still couldn't believe that I had let it slip that Lauren was my crush. This whole thing could have gone completely different if Keaton wouldn't have thought I had joked. I mentally slapped myself for my stupidity. Lauren had a boyfriend. Lauren probably didn't even like me in that way. I needed to remind myself, before I would get even more hurt that I already was.

Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder squeezing it slightly and then Dinah let herself almost completely drop herself down on me.

"Dinah!" I groaned, trying to catch my breath.

She only laughed. I tried wiggling out from under her, but thankfully she quickly gave up and sat down in the already very crammed space on the couch, putting in arm around my shoulders.

"Anything you wanna watch Chancho?" She asked so softly that I was taken a back for a second.

"I don't care, I'll probably fall asleep any minute now, anyway." I laughed, snuggling myself into her arm, glad that she was there to give me some sort of comfort.

Normani was quick to put another movie on, but I couldn't focus on anything this time. I was hyper aware of everything, especially what the couple next to me was doing. Keaton seemed to be a genuinely nice guy and even though I didn't want to like him, I had to admit that he was okay. This was making everything even worse. Why was this happening to me? Why couldn't it have been someone else? Why did it have to be Lauren?

I must have fallen asleep at one point, because the TV was turned off and so were the lights. I could make out a figure that looked like Shawn, sprawled out on the other Sofa, snoring quietly. I suddenly realized that this was the first time since Lauren had left that I had stayed over at Normani's house over night.

I sat up, letting a hand run through my hair, before getting up and making my way into the kitchen.

The light was still on and I was surprised to find Dinah, sitting at the table nursing a cub of tea.

"Whats up Chancho? Couldn't sleep either?"

"No, I was sleeping great, DJ. I just wanted to show off my PJ's." I joked, making a show of turning around for her so she could admire my attire.

Dinah only rolled her eyes and kicked out one of the chairs for me to sit on.

"This is the first time in 10 years, that you stayed over at one of our houses again." she suddenly stated, curiously looking up at me.

I stayed quiet, only nodding my head. So she did notice.

"So, did you and Lauren really make up?" Dinah asked, slowly letting her fingers run over the edge of the cup of tea.

"Yep." I said, popping the p.

She nodded, her eyes flickering between my brown ones. "Did you tell her?"

I furrowed my brows, not sure what Dinah was asking me. "Tell her what?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, but then shook her head annoyed. "Why is it so hard for you to just tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I asked, getting more confused by the minute.

"Mila, we have been friends as long as I can remember. I tell you everything. Literally everything. I even told you about the bathroom incident and I haven't even told Normani about that." She answered and I could hear the sadness and the disappointment in her voice, making me wonder what she was actually referring to.

"I really don't know... ."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Chancho." she said, shaking her head at me. "I see how much it hurts you every time and I just don't get why you wont just tell me... ." She said exasperatedly, getting more upset with every word I dared to speak.

Oh! I gulped, trying to force the blush that was creeping up my back away. I felt my heart beating heavily against my chest and my throat tightened at the realization what she was talking about. I let out a long shaky breath, tightly closing my eyes and lowering my head in shame.

"How long have you known?"

"Seriously? I knew since you were like 3 years old. I just wanted you to realize it first and tell me on your own time."

"I wanted to tell you. I really did... ."

"Then why didn't you? Did you think I would judge you, or that we would treat you differently?

"I don't know ,Dinah. I'm not even ready to accept it myself, how could I expect it from you?"

"You're such a dumb ass sometimes... ." Dinah said, giving me a slight smile as she got up and wrapped her arms around me. I could feel warm tears running down my cheeks as I tightly held onto her. I wasn't even aware that I had been keeping in those tears, but now they were coming and they didn't seem to end. Dinah didn't seem to mind and pressed me closer to her chest, rubbing comforting circles on my back.

"Is this why you asked me literally every week who I liked?" I asked, laughing in between my sobs, already knowing the answer.

She only smirked down at me, nodding her head in confirmation. "That was really exhausting Dinah Jane!" I exclaimed, slapping her arm, but she only laughed at me.

"Good. It was supposed to be."

"So you also know about my... my uhm... crush?" I asked slowly, afraid of what Dinah was about to confirm.

"Chancho, seriously I'm surprised that everyone seems to have no clue... You're about as subtle as a sledgehammer."

"Shit! Do you think she knows?" I asked, feeling anxious at the mere thought.

"No, surprisingly I don't think she does."

"Oh god! Do the others know about, you know... me?"

Dinah chuckled at me, leaning slightly back so she could look me in the eyes. "Seriously I don't think anyone knows... Shawn might have an idea though. Oh and I'm pretty sure Ms. McVey knows. I don't even think the boys stare at her cleavage as much as you do." 

"Oh my god! Do you think she noticed?" I asked embarrassed, blushing profoundly, quickly hiding my face inside my hands. 

"Well... yea! I pretty sure she noticed." Dinah laughed.

"It's not all my fault!" I tried rationalizing, "Why would she wear stuff like that in High School anyway, if she didn't want people to look? I mean its High School!" 

"... Maybe she doesn't like eye contact." Dinah giggled, causing me to roll my eyes again.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do Dinah... how do I get over this damn crush?"

"Mila, let me be honest with you... that thing that you and Lauren have, isn't just an innocent crush anymore."

Confused at her words, I slowly looked up at her, kneading my eyebrows together.

"The thing Lauren and I have?"

"Aww Mila, sometimes your obliviousness is seriously amusing."

I was still left fairly confused about what she was insinuating, but then she looked at me again, smirking looking like she had the whole thing already figured out.

"Maybe Lauren has always been your white knight, but you have always been Lauren's pink princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, I feel like I probably should point out that English is not my first language and neither do I speak Spanish, so in case I really butcher something... just let me know and I'll go fix it. Thanks for reading.


	10. Synecdoche

Camila's POV

The sun was high on the sky and the warmth of the day was tickling my skin as I tried to concentrate on my homework, which was increasingly getting more difficult. Apparently the girls varsity softball coach thought it was a good idea to let the girls run a couple of laps on the track for their stamina practice, much to the chagrin of my homework.

I shuffled in my seat, biting my nails as the team passed by. I immediately caught Dinah waving at me and I reciprocated with a smile, but I couldn't help it, as my eyes began drifting. It was just impossible not to stare at the girls toned calves and arms, as their dirty sneaker pounded by.

Once everyone had passed, I cleared my throat and tried to focus back on my damned homework. Since I had overcome my somewhat new revelation of me probably liking girls more than I probably should, I kept thinking back to some vivid moments that I had seemingly tried to delete from my memory.

Thinking back I had never really been interested in any guys romantically. Sure I talked myself into thinking that I would really love to date some of them, but as soon as they would actually try anything, I had lost interest and quickly tried to paddle back.

But I also now came to realize how much attention I'm actually paying to girls and always have. I had always thought that I wanted to be like them, wanted to look like them, rather than expecting my infatuation going as far as wanting to be with them romantically. It was actually sort of liberating to know that I hadn't been the problem, no that it was just this society that told me what i was supposed to feel and told me how I should behave.

My feelings were valid, no matter what anybody said. I had just taken a little longer to realize the truth, that I had probably always known deep down. I remember watching Disney movies and all those romantic movies I had made Dinah and Mani watch with me and I began realizing that I only ever payed attention to the girl and not the guy. I began realizing more and more things the more I allowed myself to think about it.

I remember one of my old friends, Ari. I always wanted to be near her and touch and hug her whenever I could. I would randomly kiss her on the cheek and she always just laughed it of, not seeing that I had more in mind. That I had wanted more, thinking about it, I had a very serious crush on her. I remember getting really mad at her because she began dating some guy and we began drifting further apart.

Now that I slowly began understanding my feelings towards the girl I felt horrible. I let her friendship die because she liked some boy that she broke up with 3 weeks later anyway, plus she had probably no idea about my crush on her.

I was pulled out of my thoughts, when the softball team ran by again, pausing this time for a break at the water cooler. I couldn't help but swallow thickly, sucking in my bottom lip, when I watched Lauren pull up her shirt to wipe the sweat away from her forehead. Her abdomen shimmered with sweat and her chest was heaving heavily as she lifted the water bottle up to drink from it. Two strands of hair had fallen out of place and framed her face perfectly.

"Heey Mila."

"Huh?" I jumped, instantly going red in the face, hoping that Normani didn't see what or rather who I had been gawking at. "Oh, hey Mani."

"Whatcha doin?"

I blinked and leaned back in my seat, straightening out my skirt. "Just doing some homework. What are you already doing here?"

"Coach had an appointment and let us go early." She answered shrugging, taking a seat next to me. "Uhm, hey Mila, can we talk?"

"Sure, whats up?"

"I'm really sorry for inviting Lauren on Friday, it was a stupid idea i know, I just.. I don't know... I should have talked to you first before inviting her... ."

"Its fine." I said, waving my hand absentmindedly.

"No, it really isn't. I should have made sure you were okay with it first and you looked like you really weren't okay with it."

"I mean It was kind of unexpected to see all of them there, but it was your choice. Its totally okay and I really like Ally and Troy, they are fun to hang with and they didn't lie that I and Lauren made up. So its more than okay Mani."

"So you were upset because of Keaton? I mean next time I can... ."

"What? Of course not. What makes you... it's fine, really. I mean he's alright, plus he is Laurens boyfriend why shouldn't he have been there. I was just a little surprised seeing them there you know."

"Okay. So we're cool?" Normani asked, still sounding a little skeptical.

"Yea, absolutely."

"Thank god!" Normani said, letting out a long breath, "I really thought you were mad at me, because I totally would understand if you were, because that wasn't a cool thing to do."

"Stop, Mani! Really, its more than okay." I laughed.

"... hey is that Mahone who keeps checking you out? He keeps looking over here." Normani said, bumping her shoulder against mine, squinting her eyes at something in the distance.

"Huh? Oh yea. He's been following me all day and I don't really know what thats about, but its kinda getting creepy."

"Aww little Mila has an admirer." Normani hummed humorously.

I rolled my eyes at her and shifted my focus back on my homework. We kept talking comfortably until softball practice finally came to an end. I quickly packed everything up and Normani and I made our way to Dinah's car.

"Hey Camilla!" I heard Austin call out, instantly cringing at the false pronunciation.

"Uh, yes?" I said, turning towards him.

"Hey... I'm a friend of Keaton." He said, his eyes flickering towards Normani, who got the message and smirked leaving the two of us alone.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out some time... with me. You know get to know each other a little better and stuff."

I was slightly taken aback by his question. I had know idea that he was even interested in me, less that he wanted to know anything about me. "Uhm I... You want to get to know me?"

"Sure... well I mean, I already know some things. I mean we share some classes after all." He said laughing, running his hand through his hair. "Like you're a bit younger than me and you're pretty good at maths, you're really pretty and you are from Cuba right?"

Not wanting to blow him off, but also not really wanting to agree to a date with him I shifted on my feet uncomfortably but nodded my head. There was just something about him and the way he came up to me. I couldn't put my finger on it, but if I did I'd probably have to wash it.

"Cool, so how long have you been here? In America I mean?"

"Uhm... Actually we moved here when I was little, I think I was about ... ."

"Oh cool, cool. " He interrupted me, apparently not really interested in what I had to say at all and nodded his head again. "I got to say your English is very good for someone who didn't grow up here."

I squinted my eyes at him. Was he being serious right now?

"It's 'well' you dimwit! ... and are you fucking serious dude? Get the hell outta here... ." Lauren said in disbelieve, coming up behind me and wrapping a possessive arm around my shoulder, pulling me to the side and leading me away from Austin, towards Dinah's car.

"Can you believe that guy?" she said shaking her head annoyed.

I laughed, leaning further into her hold. Feeling the heat of her body so close to mine, causing a chill to travel down my spine. "What the hell did he want from you anyway?"

"Well actually, he was about to ask me out." I smirked at her, but Lauren stopped walking, turned towards me and stared back at me wide eyed.

"Really? That guy? Dorito boy wanted to ask you out?" Lauren asked in pure disbelieve.

"Dorito boy?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her.

"Yea, you know because he looks like a Dorito." Lauren answered, holding up her hands and forming a triangular shape. "Well you're welcome by the way... now you don't have to go out with him."

She grinned impishly at me leaving my stomach in knots. That smile always made me melt in my spot. "Maybe I wanted to go out with him." I said pouting at her. The smile on her face instantly disappeared and turned into a grimace.

"Oh... Really? With... him... I mean... ." Lauren began, stammering out the words, searching for the right thing to say. I bursted out laughing, watching her struggle to come up with another defense, not able to hold up the facade any longer.

"Oh... ha-ha very funny Camz... ." Lauren said, rolling her eyes and bumping her shoulder against mine.

"Hey, you know my mother always used to say: 'the older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana.'"

Lauren laughed at me shaking her head. "... Or a Dorito."

"Lauren!"

"What? Its true!" Lauren smirked, wrapping her arm around my shoulder again. "Come on. Dinah is already waiting."

I had no idea what was going on. All week guys were coming up to me and tried asking me out. I had been lucky to be saved every time, but I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to agree to an offer. I had a bad feeling that all this had something to do with Keaton. Damn him! I really needed to talk to him, this was just pure torture! They were coming up to me because they thought that I wanted to date someone, which was sort of true, but I already knew who I wanted to date, but that person was not available and neither was she interested in me in that way.

Plus that person was Keaton's girlfriend... Seriously, only I could get into a situation like that. It made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't want to be an asshole and deny everyone, because there were some really nice guys that came up to me that I just would never be interested in, but it takes a lot of guts to walk up to someone and ask them out and being rejected is not a lot of fun... and neither is being the one doing it. I really needed to talk to Keaton!

Suddenly my locker that I had just put my books in slammed shut and an older boy leaned against it, smirking at me. The first thing that I immediately noticed was his smug expression and his none existing lips. I raised an confused eyebrow at him, but he kept his smirk up, racking his eyes up and down my body, making me instantly feel even more uncomfortable.

"You're Camilla right?" he asked, coming unnecessarily close.

"Thats right."

"Perfect. I'm Matthew- Matthew Hussey. I heard ... you're looking for ... a real man." he began licking his 'lips' and my eyes almost bulged out of my eye-sockets. What was that even supposed to mean? And why was he making those weird pauses while talking?

"... Why don't you come over for dinner on Saturday night... and let me find out what... wets your appetite." he drawled out like he thought that he was the hottest thing on the market.

I blinked, wanting to burst out laughing. I stared at him in disbelieve, almost sure I must have misheard him.

"And what are you serving for desert?" I heard Laurens voice behind me and turned, watching her come up beside me, smirking at him. "Penicilin?"

He looked taken a back for a second but then secured the smile back on his face and smirked as he hadn't understood what Lauren had said to him.

"Ladies, ladies there is enough of me to go around." he went on cockily.

I watched as Laurens head nodded of the side and quickly snapped up again. "Oh, I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? I think I dozed of there for a second." Lauren sighed, blinking her eyes sleepily at him.

He raises an angry eyebrow at her, looking her up and down in dismay. "You think you're funny?"

"I think... I'm adorable!" Lauren scoffed and wrapped an protective arm around my shoulder like she had done the other times she had saved me from unwanted requests.

"Pfft... ." He shook his head, getting visibly angry at Lauren and puffing out his chest. "Do you know what I think?"

"No... do you?" Lauren asked tauntingly, staring at him defiantly and taking a step closer towards him. I suddenly realized that this was probably not gonna end well. I quickly wrapped my arm around her waist and started pulling her away from him.

"I'm sorry, but no thank you. I'm no interested."

He yelled something after us and I had to use all my strength to keep Lauren from running back and probably punching him in the face.

"This is like the fourth time you saved me this week! Seriously, please talk to Keaton I really cant keep doing this."

"What was up with that guy? He thinks just because he is a... ."

"Lauren... I don't care about him, but I really need you to talk to Keaton so this doesn't continue."

"Fine, I'll talk to him later... Seriously though, how are you still awake? I had to do a project with him in my first week and after literally 5 minutes he put me to sleep in the middle of history class. No joke! He could make a lot of money if he would record a CD for Insomniacs or something... he probably be a sell out..."

Lauren kept talking, but I was to caught up with the fact that her arm was still tightly wrapped around my shoulders. My hand was still resting on her waist and my head leaned slightly on her shoulder as I let her lead me to the parking lot. I really could get used to this feeling.

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When I arrived at home, I walked straight into the kitchen, hoping my mother had already cooked dinner. What I didn't expect was my mother sitting at the kitchen table with cup of coffee in front of her waiting for me.

"Hey Mama. Whats up?" I said somewhat warily, because this was never a good sign.

"Come take a seat, I want to talk to you about something." Sinu said, beginning the conversation in that way that parents do that is somehow benign and scary at the same time.

Taking in a deep breath, I braced myself with what was about to leave my mothers mouth and sat down on the chair opposite her. I watched her finger slowly run over the lid of her mug, probably going over the already well rehearsed scolding I was about to receive.

I could feel my heart pounding hard against my chest, even though I didn't really know what to expect I couldn't help but feel anxious.

"I want to talk to you about what happened Saturday morning. About you and ... that girl."

I swallow hard, feeling every muscle inside me tensing. "Uhm okay. W-hat about?" I managed to stutter out, running a hand through my hair, trying to relief some tension. What if she knew that I have a crush on her? What if she knew the girl's Lauren?

"Well first of all who is she? Whats her name?"

"I... uhm... she... uhm it's kinda complicated... ." I mumbled shifting uncomfortably in my chair and feeling the anxiety raise up inside of me.

"So she isn't a friend?"

"No!... I mean she is... just ... ." I tried, but my mama only raised her eyebrows at me in question. Not really knowing how to best answer her question I looked down at my hands. It was naive to believe my Mama or my Papá weren't going to interrogate me about 'the girl'. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath before releasing it again. "She is Lauren. It was Lauren."

"What was that?" She asked, leaning forward to better hear what I was mumbling.

"It was Lauren."

"You never talked about a Laur... Oooh! You mean... Lauren."

There was a long uncomfortable silence stretching between us, making me more anxious by the minute.

"Yes, that Lauren."

"Soo... You and Lauren are... ." She began, but then shook her head in thought. "What was she doing here? Did you invite her, because we weren't at home?"

"What? No! She just came over and wanted to apologize and ... ." I stopped unsure if I should tell her that Lauren was drunk, which could possibly get her into trouble. But on second thought my mother could read me like a book, so there was no point in lying.

"... She was a little drunk when she came here and I couldn't let her drive home and also I wasn't going to let her walk home like that either so I thought letting her stay over was the right thing to do. I didn't think it was going to be such a big deal."

"So the boyfriend was a lie?" She clarified, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I... Sort of... I mean, I don't think she had trouble with Keaton... No their fine." I told her, not sure what Laurens boyfriend had to do with this.

"Oh, so she has a boyfriend?"

Confused about why she was still so keen on the topic I only nodded my head, looking at the ground again.

"Okay... Well, how long has she been back?"

"I don't know the exact date, but definitely since school started again."

"You know, you will have to speak to your father about this." She said, nodding her head.

I continue to stare at the ground, also nodding my head, afraid to catch her gaze.

"He wont be happy."

"It wasn't Laurens fault... It... it was mine." I answered in Laurens defense embarrassed.

"Huh? How is that, Mija?"

"Just.. ugh! I messed up the phone-number." I answered shrugging, really not looking forward to telling my father about it.

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"Hey, I got your message." Dinah said, walking inside my room, closing the door behind herself. "Chancho, what the hell are you listening to?" 

"A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me."

Dinah only raised her eyebrows at me amused, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Is it working?"

I sighed loudly, turning on my side to look at her. "Not really, I keep worrying that I left the refrigerator door open."

"So, how did it go? What did he say?" Dinah said still looked very amused.

After my mother had told me that I needed to talk to my Papà about Lauren she had practically forced me into the kitchen with him after he had arrived from work and had forced me to confess on the spot. Needless to say as unprepared as I had been, he hadn't taken it very well.

"He told me to stay away from her, because according to him she has a bad influence on me." I sighed loudly again, sadly cuddling into my pillow. 

"What? Did you tell him that it wasn't her fault?" Dinah asked, coming up to me and taking a seat on my bed.

"Of course I did. And it took him some time to accept that it was partly my fault. But my mother made me tell him everything. Like literally everything. I told him that she was a little drunk and that that was the reason she had stayed over and that signed the deal for him. He just listed of things that he disliked about her like: that 'the girl' has a piercing, a tattoo, she drinks and she has a boyfriend- thats enough reason for him to dislike her and telling me to stay away, he doesn't want me to get any ideas you know."

"Yes, but he cant just expect you to ignore her. I mean he doesn't even really know her."

"I know that and he wouldn't do that. He would just be really disappointed with me if I... you know didn't listen and do as he said. He just wants the best for me." I sighed again, sitting up and leaning against Dinah, who instantly wrapped me in her arms pulling me closer. 

"Well next weekend is going to be interesting than." Dinah chuckled, rubbing comforting circles on my back.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I invited everyone over... Its your time hosting sleepover night!"

"What? At my place? Oh no! No way, Dinah!" I said, quickly leaning away from her, with horror in my eyes. "My mother will be there... she will know! She reads me like a book and when she sees me with Lauren, she'll know, she was already sort of suspicious of us! Dinah I cant! Can we please do it at your place... ."

"What do you mean she was already suspicious?"

"When she interrogated me earlier she kept on wanting to know about Laurens boyfriend it was really weird. She cant know! This is not happening!"

"I guess we'll find out next weekend." Dinah chuckled, not letting up.

"Dinah, please!"

"She probably already knows anyway." Dinah joked, smirking at me amused.

"Don't even joke about that!" I said outraged.  
I had a nagging feeling that this wasn't going to end well, -at all.


	11. Something to hide?

Lauren's POV

Todays softball practice ended a little later than usual. Tomrrow we would have our first game of the season and our coach wasn't 100 percent satisfied with our performances yet. When I had finally showered and finished getting dressed, the sun was already settling and the sky had taken on colorful hues of oranges and purples.

I got into my car and threw my bag into my backseat, shifting my car into drive, making my way over to Keaton's house. I had been angry with him all week, but today he had crossed the limit of my tolerations.

All week guys had come up to Camila and tried asking her out, but thankfully I was there and could turn most of them down for her. I knew it was making her uncomfortable and I also knew that Camila felt bad rejecting them, I on the other hand didn't. I was furious. Camila wasn't some thing Keaton or his friends should be playing with, she was my friend and not some girl who was in for some quick fun and he knew that. 

This mornings incident was the final straw against the camel's back. One of his friends from the lacrosse team had tried making a pass on Camila and thankfully Dinah had stepped in, because things had apparently turned nasty real quick. I had only heard about it because Kehlani had been going on about how Brad deserved a whooping after something that had happened in the cafeteria. Apparently after Camila had turned him down, he hadn't taken it very well and started acting out and thrown around untrue words. I was glad that Dinah had been there or else I wasn't sure how out of hand the situation could have gotten.

I felt really bad and I hoped that Camila wasn't hating me for the things that my stupid boyfriend did. It was infuriating me to watch all those guys walk up to Camila like she was some price to win. With every new guy that I watched walk up to her, I felt my anger increase. Why couldn't they tell that she just wasn't interested in them? 

When I arrived at his house I let myself inside, knowing his parents weren't at home tonight. I made my way into his room and slammed the door a little harder than was necessary. 

His head whipped around in shock to take in my presents. He was sitting at his desk, obviously playing some video game, but quickly paused it when he recognized that it was me who was disturbing him. He gave me a lopsided grin and pressed the pause button on his game.

"Hey beautiful. Whats up?" I was still so angry that it caused me almost physical pain not to roll my eyes at his response.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop sending those tools to Camila? I'm really getting tired of having to save her every time she walks into the cafeteria." 

His smile faltered at my angry response, but he was quick to shake it off and put the smirk back on his face. "I knew it would work. Did she finally find one? There's got to be one she likes right?" he asked, walking towards me, reaching out for my hands. 

I squinted my eyes at him. He was still smirking, trying to pull me into his embrace, but I quickly leaned away and sat down on the bed crossing my arms on front of my chest defiantly. 

"No Keaton, she hasn't. Those guys are horrible. I don't even know what you were thinking when you send Hussey after her... You could at least send her someone who is worthy of having her." I retorted angrily. 

"Yes, okay. I give you that. Hussey was probably a bit much, but in my defense he just overheard me and the guys talking about her and probably thought he'd try his luck." Keaton answered, walking in front of me, so he could stand in between my legs. He tried leaning in for a kiss, but I was to angry with him at the moment and quickly turned my face away from him. He gave my cheek a quick, wet kiss and instantly began frowning at my reaction. I heard him mutter something under his breath, as he sat back down in his chair.

"What do you mean with worthy anyway?" he asked, getting visibly annoyed, putting his headphones back around his neck and focused all his attention on his computer screen. 

"I mean, don't tell people to go up to her who are obviously only in for a quick thing. She told you she isn't looking for something like that."

"I just wanted to help. If she doesn't want to go out with them she doesn't have to, I'm not forcing her, am I?" He spat back, pressing the play button on his game aggressively.

I blinked at him. I really wanted to smack some sense into him right now. "She didn't even want your help, she was just being polite."

"Oh, Wow! Okay then... ."

"You think a pretty girl like Camila would need your help to get a guy?" I asked, feeling myself getting angrier at him.

"Whatever." he scoffed, shaking his head annoyed.

"Don't you get it? She is my friend. I want her to be happy and not come crying to me after 2 days, because some dude you send her fucked her over." I almost yelled at him, getting more emotional then I probably should. 

Keaton released a long sighed and paused his game again. "Do you really think I would want to send her someone that would just want to break her heart? I didn't go and tell Hussey to hit on her okay. And I thought Austin was her type, thats why I asked him." He answered more calmly this time. I watched his eyes turning softer, as he rolled closer towards me with his chair. 

"Asked him? What did you ask him? If he'd hit on Camila for you?"

"What?" Keaton asked, getting more irritated by the second. He reached out again, taking my hands into his own. "No, I asked him if he was still interested in her and that his chances might have improved. What exactly is your problem?" 

"Right now? Its you."

He blinked at me confused, leaning slightly away from me and pulling his hands back away from mine. "What is this really about? Is there something going in that I should know about?"

"What are you insinuating?"

"I'm not insinuating anything, I am merely asking whats going on. Why are you acting so weird? We literally have to house for ourselves for the next three hours and all you want to do is talk about Camila.. ." 

"Nothing is going on!" I almost yelled back at him, trying to keep the tears in, but ending up sniffling loudly. 

"I have to go." I said angrily, quickly wiping the tears from my eyes, as I hurried back outside to my car. I had no idea what had gotten into me, but something just rubbed me the wrong way about the whole Camila dating thing. 

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The sky had turned dark and the moon was shining brightly, when I had found myself in front of the Cabello household. I didn't know what had driven me to come here, but since I was already here, I decided to go check up on Camila. 

I hoped the girl didn't make me responsible for what had happened this morning in the cafeteria. But I knew even if she was mad at me, I wanted to make her feel better.

I quietly got out of my car and stealthily made my way around the house, sneaking into the Cabello's backyard. I really hoped that no one saw me, as I tried climbing up the familiar route I had taken a couple days ago.

Once I had overcome the first obstacle, I struggled to pull myself up onto the roof, my legs were left pedaling in the air, but somehow I manged to hook my knee over the edge and rolled myself into the shingles. I laid there for a second, trying to catch my breath. 

I had no idea how I had managed this accomplishment drunk without actually breaking my neck. After another moment I pushed myself up onto my feet, hugging the house walls and quietly tried to make my way over to Camila's window, careful not to slip up.

I reached out, wanting to knock on the brunettes window, only to notice that it was already open. I carefully slid one foot after the other, until I could climb into the window. Once i was inside her room, I was met with the brunette girl in pink PJ's standing in front of me with a raised bat in her hands, ready to swing.

"OH GOD! Don't! Its me! It's Lauren... ." I whisper-yelled at her, quickly holding up my arms shielding myself from the impending pain. 

"Shit! Lauren? I swear one of these days you will give me a heart attack!" she whisper-yelled back, clutching her chest in shock.

I slowly lowered my hands to look her over. "I'm sorry, was I interrupting your softball game?" I mocked her, looking at the bat in her hands, that was still raised in the air. 

She rolled her eyes at me, exhaling a slightly shaky breath, before dropping the baseball bat to the side. "Cant you use the front door like normal people?" 

"Scaring you is way more fun." I laughed, taking in her unimpressed expression. "Besides the last time I was here you lied to your parents and if I'm concluding correctly that was probably because your parents don't know that I'm back, do they?"

I didn't need her to confirm it, I already knew it was true. I had talked to Dinah about it and she had told me what her parents, especially Camz father thought of me. I really couldn't blame them, but they didn't know the whole story, but I really hoped that once they knew, that maybe we could get back on better terms. 

"Well, they do know... now." she answered shyly, looking at her feet. I instantly could tell that something made her feel uncomfortable about this conversation. I had always been able to tell when she felt nervous or distressed, but I wasn't sure if it was me or the things her parents had said about me that made her feel that way. 

"Really?" I asked. 

"Yes. Didn't I tell you to never do that again?" She said sounding angry, as she pointed at the window that I had just climbed in through.

"I thought you meant to never do it 'drunk' again." I smirked smugly, but Camila only shook her head at me, unsettling me slightly.

"Tell me. Could I really have risked the front door?" I asked, already knowing the answer to my own question.

I watched as her gaze shifted to her feet again. I smiled warmly at her, trying to tell her that it was okay, but she wouldn't catch my eyes. I decided to make my way towards her and pushed a strand of her brunette hair that had fallen out of place back behind her ear. "Thats what I thought."

"Why are you here? My parents will kill me if they find out you're here without their permission." she whispered like we were sharing a secret, looking up at me with those deep brown eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Why? I thought that only counts for boys, or is it because I'm such a 'badgirl'." I whispered back, reiterating the words Dinah had used when she had told me about what Camila's parents had said.

She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously and then slapped my arm hard. 

"Ouch!"

"Badgirl, my ass! What are you doing here Jauregui?" She asked bemused, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

"I wanted to check up on my girl, but all she does is abuse me." I answered, giving her my best puppy dog eyes and sticking out my bottom lip to pout at her.

Camila only shook her head, unable to keep the smile that she was trying so hard to suppress from her lips. "Oka... I'm sowwy."

"Too whittle, too wate!" 

"Lauren!" She exclaimed, punching my arm for a second time tonight. "I'm serious, you cant be here. My parents could burst through the door any second." She complained again, jumping a little up and down like a child would if you didn't buy them the candy they want.

"They wont." I assured her, running a hand through my dark, messy hair. Camila's eyes followed the movement and suddenly she began to giggle.

"What?" I asked, squinting my eyes at her suspiciously. Without answering me, she took another step towards me, leaning up on her tip toes and reached out her hand to pulled a couple of leafs from my tousled hair. 

"Did you roll around in a heap of leafs before coming here?" she asked chuckling with her face so close to mine that I forgot to breath for a second. 

"No, I thought it looked pretty." I said sarcastically. I took a step back and cleared my throat, wondering if the room had been this warm the entire time. "So, what were you doing before I climbed through your window?" 

"Just watching 'friends'" she said shrugging her shoulders and walking back to her bed. "Well, until I heard a noise and thought there was a burglar on my roof."

"Sorry to disappoint? I'm just glad you didn't swing that bat at me."

She only gave me a shy smile, but then furrowed her brows in thought. "So. You still haven't answered me, what are you doing here so late?" 

The question caught me slightly of guard. I didn't really know what I was doing here, only that I had wanted to see her. "I had a fight with Keaton." I said shrugging my shoulders, looking at the floor.

"Oh. Uhm do... uhm do you want to talk about it?" Camila asked, shifting uncomfortably on her feet. 

"Not really. Its fine. Oh, you also don't have to worry about him sending you more potential dates." I tried to laugh, but it came out more like strangled breath. 

"Thats one good thing then." She chuckled awkwardly, giving me a warm smile. I watched as she climbed back into her bed, slipping under her covers. 

"Can I sleep here tonight?" I asked tentatively, afraid that she was going to reject me.

"Uhm, I don't... ." she began to say, but then looked at her closed bedroom door, shacking her head. "Sure, but we have to be really quiet. When my parents find out they're probably going to whop our asses."

"Thanks."I smiled at her, taking of my jacket and hanging it on her chair. She lifted her blankets up for me and I quickly took of my jeans and slipped under the covers next to her. 

We were sitting slightly apart not touching, but I could feel the warmth from her body radiating off of her under the blanket. 

"You sure you don't want to talk about Keaton?" the brunette asked warily again, looking me over curiously. 

"Yes, I'm sure." I answered honestly, making myself comfortable under the blankets. We fell into an comfortable silenced and continued watching the episode of friends that she had put on.

I found that I could help my eyes from drifting over to the other girl. She was so adorable in her pink PJ's and the way she was quietly mouthing along all the lines of the show. She was probably not even aware that she was doing it. 

"What?" she asked after a moment, looking over at me and I wondered why she was so red in the face.

"Hmm?"

"Do I have something on my face? You keep staring." She said, sounding a little self conscious. I only smiled back at her and found that my mouth was quicker than my brain again.

"Come here." 

She looked curiously back at me and I held out my arm for her to lean in. I experienced a moment of panic when I saw her squinting at me suspiciously, but a sudden smile appeared on her features and she shuffled closer, leaning into my embrace and snuggled her face into my chest, wrapping her arm over my stomach, like we had done when we were little.

I found myself sighing contently, as I buried my face inside her hair smiling to myself. "I really missed you, Cabello."

She let out a small laugh, making me feel all warm inside. She turned her face towards mine, lifting on of her perfect eyebrows.

"Are you talking about me or my hair?" 

"Wow, that was almost funny." 

"Hey!" She chuckled again, slapping my arm. All of the sudden I could feel Camila lean in, her warm breath ghosting over my neck, before I could feel her soft lips pressing against my cheek, causing my whole body to momentarily tense up at our closeness. "It's okay to admit that you love my jokes... but I missed you too, Jauregui."

It took me a moment to notice that my eyes were closed, still relishing the warm feeling that her lips had left on my cheek. I quickly blinked them open again, only to come face to face with her deep, chocolate brown eyes in front of mine. My eyes flickered down to her lips and I could instantly feel my breath hitch, but quickly tried to cover it up with a cough. Camila thankfully hadn't seem to notice my flustered state. She shifted closer again and snuggled back into my chest, letting out a deep content sigh. 

It took a moment for my heart rate to go down again, but once it did, sleep was quick to claim me with a more than content smile on my face. 

Camila's POV

I heard my Mama's voice call out my name and sighed deeply, buring my face deeper into my pillow, hoping the lack of oxygen would help me pass out again. 

"Karla Camila!" She yelled again after another moment of silence. I sighed loudly, turning around in my bed, pulling the covers over my head hoping in vain that she wouldn't see me and let me sleep. 

This time however my door bursted open and a cheerful Sinu entered my room humming a melody that I couldn't recognize at the moment. A sudden panic took over my body and my eyes flew open when I remembered that Lauren had come over last night.

I reached out my arm, my fingers stretching out, seeking Lauren's warmth, but only finding a vacant, cold place next to me. Confused and only slightly relieved I lifted my head, but my mother had already taken a hold of my blanket and before I could stop her It was yanked off of my body unceremoniously.

"Get up now,Karla!" She said again, continuing her humming as she left my room. 

I let my gaze slowly go around the room, only to find that Lauren was nowhere to be seen. She must have left at some point without saying goodbye. I was glad that my mother hadn't caught us, but somehow the revelation that Lauren had just disappeared on me without a word left me hurt.

I growled annoyed and sat down on the edge of my bed, running a hand through my disheveled hair. I released a long breath, reaching out for my phone that was still ringing in alarm. I turned it off, noticing that I had a text message from the raven haired girl. A smile slowly stretched on my lips as I pressed the button and read it.

// "Mornin babe. Sorry that I left so early. I didn't want your mom to catch me ;)" // 

I instantly felt my heart skip a beat at the nickname, letting out an involuntary squeak. Lauren already had me dead on the floor when she had called me her girl yesterday, but this was on another level. 

I knew I was getting up my hopes over nothing, but I just couldn't help it. The smile stayed on my lips for what felt like all morning. Once I had gotten dressed I noticed a certain red varsity jacket still hanging on my chair. It was Laurens, she must have forgotten it. 

Remembering that they had the first game of the season later tonight I decided to put it on over my regular clothes and return it later, at lunch.

On my way out, I stopped for a second, inspecting myself in the mirror. I had to say that even though the jacket was slightly bigger, it fitted me perfectly. Smirking, I pulled it closer around my body, feeling instantly warmer inside. The distant scent of the green eyed girl traveled into my nose, with a slight note of cigarette smoke. Surprisingly the smell of cigarettes somehow didn't bother me as much as I had thought when it was mixed with Laurens. 

I could hear a honk from outside, letting me know that Dinah had arrived. I quickly yelled my goodbyes and made my way into her car, with a smile still plastered on my face.


	12. A lie guarded

Lauren's POV

I fucked up!

This morning I had woken up with Camila wrapped up in my arms and my face buried in her hair.

First, a smile had stretched on my lips, as I had watched the Cuban girl sleep peacefully in my embrace.

Second, I remembered my heart swelling at the sight in front of me. I had reached out and brushed a strand of dark hair from her face.

Third, it hadn't taken long for my mind to plant completely wrong and inexcusable thoughts in my head.

Fourth, I had realized what I was doing and quickly retreated away from the girl.

And fifth, I had completely freaked out and bolted out of her house without a second thought.

The biting cold of the early hours of the morning had settled inside my car and was battling with the welcome warmth of the heater that was blasting on high.  
I had wrapped my arms tightly around myself in an attempt to keep warm, running my hands up and down my cold, goosebump covered arms.  
To my dismay it took my car forever to heat up. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten to take my jacket with me during my little panic attack.

After another moment in my freezing car, I decided to drive by a IHOP to warm myself up with a nice, hot coffee and figured that I might as well pick up some 'makeup apology' breakfast for Keaton. Once I had everything I needed and had somewhat calmed down, I let the events of last night run through my mind again.

I couldn't believe that I had gone off on Keaton like that for no apparent reason. What he had done wasn't meant to be something vile or mean, he genuinely cared and the fact that I had just ran out on him because of that, made me feel horrible.

I send him a text, letting him know that I was sorry and that I would pick him up before school so we could talk. I had no idea what I had been thinking last night, less than why I had ended up at Camila's place. I mentally slapped myself for my stupidity.

Nonetheless, I also felt bad for leaving Camila without a warning, this morning. She had been so nice letting me spent the night. Camila always had this unexplainable power over me, regardless what I felt, or how bad my day was, when she was around I couldn't help but feel giddy. With her I always felt more like myself. I groaned and quickly send her an apology text as well.

What the hell was I going to do? I guess I had to make up for a lot.

To my surprise Keaton had been quick to accept my apology. I wasn't sure if the reason had been the breakfast I had brought, or the fact that after the game tonight, we would go to Harry's party and he was hoping to finally get some.

Regardless of his reasons, I was glad that he wasn't making a big deal out of it. Once we arrived at school, I got out of my car and it didn't take long for me to spot a certain Cuban girl.

I couldn't help the tingling, warm feeling inside my stomach when I spotted Camila walking into the school building. She was wearing my blue varsity jacket that had 'Jauregui' stitched into the back of it and damn did it look good on her.

A subconscious smile stretched on my lips at the fact that she was wearing my clothes. My thoughts didn't have much time to linger though, as I felt Keaton bumping his shoulder with mine, giving me a bright smile and making me instantly feel a strong pang of guilt. His strong hand grasped mine and he was quick to intertwine our fingers, bringing me back to the harsh reality that Camila and I were only friends and that was as good as it was ever going to get.

I kept the smile trained on my face, but inside I felt miserable. I liked Keaton, I had a good thing going with him, but would I really want to compromise what we have because of some stupid 'phase'? No, I'm not going to let the way my body reacts to this girl turn my life upside down. I was not going to be a slave to my hormones!

I knew what I was doing wasn't necessarily fair to Keaton, but for all intents and purposes I was really trying to make this relationship work out. I knew that I couldn't let these feelings I had for Camila get in the way of what Keaton and I had.

Granted, my feelings for Keaton weren't really strong, he had just been at the right place at the right time. But we worked well together, there was no denying it. We clicked and he was easy on the eyes and to be around, another plus was that my parents loved him.

It was still weird. I rarely dated back in California. I just never got the hang of it. I remember my friends being constantly on my ass for it, trying to figure out who I liked or found cute. It was almost exhausting how much they wanted to set me up. They literally had made me go out with who ever I said I found even slightly cute. I never understood why I would want to go out with someone only because I thought they were 'cute', how could 'cute' ever equate to what I had felt with Camila or even Alexa? Their answered had always been the same "don't worry... feelings develop over time".

Yet, Keaton and I had been dating for over 5 weeks and I did not remotely feel for him, what I felt for Camila. I had tried to believe I would eventually get there. I really did, but with every day that passed, my hope faded further away.

It was laughable, I was finally back in Miami and the first person I fall head over heals in love with, is the first girl I ever loved. Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe I had never really gotten over her. Maybe I was being punished. It was ridiculous, the more I didn't want these feelings the stronger they got. I hated them! These dumb feelings only meant trouble, confusion and most likely another ruined friendship, - losses that I only knew to well.

Unbeknownst to Camila, she had been the first person to introduced me to that warm tingling feeling in every part of my body and shown me what it was like to have a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. I remembered it, like it had happened yesterday.

It had been the first day of kindergarten and she had cried because Austin had taken her teddy away from her. The moment I had returned it to her, she had looked at me, wiping those big, sad tears from her red eyes and met mine. She had given me that special bright smile of hers and with that look she had gotten me bad. I had been hooked from that moment on and there was no rescue in sight.

I never chose to feel this way and I wished I could make those feelings go away. She was a girl! My mother had been clear on how wrong it was and I had understood and accepted that. But I couldn't help it, everything was diffrent when I lay in bed with Camila in my arms, when I heard her sweet laugh and saw her smile with that little crinkle in her nose that she seemed to reserve only for me, or the way her eyes light up when she tells a joke and you pretend it was funny, leaving me to wonder how something that can feel so right and perfect could be considered wrong and unnatural, while I'm laying in Keaton's arms and feel nothing, -none of these things that I feel when I'm with her.

Shouldn't I get to be happy with who ever I want? Could I ever be strong enough to defy my parents and accept the hate they surely would give me for loving someone of the same gender?

-'We all have feelings for our best friends, but that doesn't mean we should act on them' my mothers words echoed in the back of my mind.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - F L A S H B A C K - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 8th Grade - - - - - - - - - -

"Lauren Michelle, come here I need to talk to you." I heard my mothers voice call out from the kitchen.

Instantly my breath hitched, it was never a good sign when my mother called me by my full name. I took a deep breath in, bracing myself for the impending scolding I was surely about to receive. I made my way into the kitchen, spotting my mother sitting at the kitchen table with a serious look on her face.

She was nursing a cup of tea, that judging by the lack of steam had probably already gone cold. She was slowly steering the spoon in short circular motions, the metal creating a weird scratching sound against the cup. Our eyes met and I instantly noticed that her eyes looked red, but before I had enough time to wonder what it meant, she motioned for me to sit down.

I took in another deep breath, bracing myself with the impending conversation we were going to have. I sat down across from her, feeling like a suspect who had been called to the stands. I gulped and looked back at her, my palms already sweaty, as I was impatiently awaiting for her to tell me what all this was about.

"I want to talk to you about... uhm, your friend. Alexa." She said, causing my whole body to tense up. I could feel a shiver going through my body and my eyes widened upon hearing those words. I began shifting uncomfortably on my chair, looking anywhere but at my mother.

"Wh-what about her?" I tried asking innocently, but I knew I had failed horribly at keeping my composure.

She shook her head in disappointment, letting out a deep sigh, before looking back at me. I felt a shudder go through me, I never seen her eyes as coldly directed at me as they were now.

"Well, her parents called me this morning... about what you did." She said calmly, looking anything but. She began steering the spoon around in her cup again, before looking coldly back at me. "They said you molested Alexa, is that true?"

My mouth dropped open in disbelieve and if possible, my eyes went even wider than they were before. Molested? I had a crush on Alexa for the longest time and I think I was even falling in love with her, I would never do anything she wouldn't want.

Alexa had invited me to a sleepover over the weekend and we had ended up watching Disney movies. She had wanted to practice kissing with me, you know just in case she would meet her prince and had argued that -'just imagine you would meet him and how embarrassing would it be if you wouldn't know how to.'

Since I had the biggest crush on her, I wasn't going to pass up this kind of opportunity and had agreed. She was first to kiss me and obviously I kissed her back. We both had enjoyed it and decided to continue. We kissed until both of our lips were chapped and we were panting heavily. Both of us had wanted it and after we were done kissing she had even confessed that she liked me and said: 'I think I already met my prince'- meaning me! Embarrassingly it made my heart flutter to this day.

We had ended up cuddling all night and exchanged kisses every now and then. The next morning had been a little awkward and there was a weird distance between us, but I hadn't thought much of it.

When Monday had come around, she had completely ignored. On Tuesday she had vehemently tried to avoid me. On Wednesday I had tried confronting her about it and she had called me a freak, said that I was disgusting and told me to stay away from her and that she didn't want anything to do with someone like me. I didn't understand why she was doing this or what she meant by that. I had thought we liked each other. How could she turn on me this quickly, without me doing something wrong. She had crushed my heart with her bare hands and thrown it into the garbage disposal, -at least thats what it had felt like.

"W-what? No! I didn't! I would never do something that she wouldn't want." I answered outraged that my mother would even think such a vile thing of me.

"So you deny kissing her?" My mother asked and I tried my best to ignore her hopeful undertone.

"I-I mean, no... We kissed, but we both wanted it."

My mother let out a long shaky breath, shaking her head in pure disappointment. I saw her eyes slowly fill with tears and I wondered what exactly I had done that was so bad.

"She asked me to practice with her, so I agreed to kiss her." I tried to reason, feeling my own tears pool in my eyes.

Slowly my mother directed her red, angry eyes back at me. "So, are you saying that it was her who took advantage of you?"

I was quick to shake my head. "No, we both agreed to it. We both liked it."

"It doesn't matter anymore. You will not see her again! Alexa's parents already transferred her to a different school... ." My mother went on, but the rest fell on deaf ears. Alexa was transferring school, because of some stupid kisses? I couldn't stop the sobs that suddenly began wracking through my body. She left me? Just like that? How could she, after telling me that she liked me.

"It's okay, mija. It's obvious that you are getting to an age were you want to try certain things, but don't worry there will be boys lining up for you and... ."

"... But we both liked kissing each other, she told me that... ." I tried to insist, but my mother was quick to interrupt me. Clara jumped up from her chair, causing the legs of the chair to loudly scratch over the wooden floor, leaving white marks in their wake, as she began leaning forward over the table, almost towering over me.

"Well, only because you like it, doesn't mean you should!" She yelled at me and I cowered in my chair, feeling the fear slip into my bones. Her eyes were angry and red and I never been more scared in my life like I had been in this moment. It had something final about it, with no place left to breath.

Her eyes studied me carefully and after a long moment she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "That's all that damn televisions fault, isn't it! They only teach kids this horrendous stuff these days, without thinking of the consequences and the confusion they leave in those poor kids."

Her eyes turned softer this time and she walked up to me, resting her hand on my shoulder, it took everything in me not to flinch away.

"It's just a phase Lauren. I don't want you to do this stuff, do you understand. Don't you worry. One day you will find a handsome guy, who will sweep you off your feet." She reassured, but I wasn't sure if it was more meant to ensure me or herself.

"We will keep this from your father, who knows what he'll say and feel about this. Its our little secret okay, Lauren Michelle." She said in that tone of voice that left no room for argument, so I nodded my head in defeat.

But what if it wasn't going to be a 'handsome guy', but a 'beautiful girl' who would sweep me off my feet I wondered, but didn't dare ask.

What I had done must have been more than wrong, because I had never seen my mother act this way. I felt horrible for putting her through this, but I couldn't help but miss Alexa. The fact that I had lost her and that she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore left me sad, angry and broken. The next day, I wanted to confront her, but she wasn't there anymore, I never saw her again and she left me to endure all of this mess that she had caused by myself.

Since this day, I hated myself for even looking at girls the wrong way, or thinking something slightly inappropriatly. The voice of my mother had manifsted itself in the back of my mind, telling me:

-"Its only a phase..."

-"Only because you want, doesn't mean you should..."

-"We all have feelings for out best friends, doesnt mean we should act on them..."

Two weeks later I came home with my first boyfriend. I was sure I had never seen my mother this happy. I sucked it up and pretended to be happy, it made my parents happy, it was the right thing to do, right?

From that point on I got more aware of the gay couple surrounding us though. California was well known to be accepting and was one of the more open minded states, but I realized that my parents had consciously moved us into a more ''straight' populated area, because they wouldn't want to get associated with 'them'. But it was inevitable not to walk into a gay couple here and every time we did, I could hear the sneer coming form my mother and I never missed how she would always mutter under her breath.

-"Gross."

-"Cant they do that behind closed door, where I don't have to watch."

-"Ay dios.. there are kids here..."

-"Ugh, Disgusting"

-"Ew!"

It scared me. Every time I heard her say those things and saw people who genuinely were in love and enjoying themselves, I felt the hatred for myself grow. They had what I wanted, while I was sure I could never have that without losing my family, so I sucked it up and pretended to be something I most definitely was not.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I hated the fact that I was re-experiencing all these old feelings for Camila all over again. The worst part though, they seemed to be stronger now then before, at least from what I remembered. These feelings were slowly tearing me apart from the inside out and as much as I tried, there was no way to hide from the inside of my mind. 

Everything was destined to fail if I'd allow those feelings in and who even knew if Camila felt the same way about me. She was very 'touchy' with everyone, not just me. But what if she did? Would it end like it had with Alexa? Would she ignore me as well? Would she hate me because of it? Was I even ready to find out? Did I even want to find out? What if she would never want to see me after my confession again. Or what if she would never want to cuddle me or sleep in the same bed as me? With all these feelings there were to many variables to overcome and to think about. 

I wasn't even sure if Camila liked girls and if she did, who said that she would be interested in someone like me. Could I even give her what she deserved? Could I ever be enough? What would her parents say? What would my parents say? 

School went by in a slow blur with all these thoughts constantly invading my mind. I had decided to skip lunch and spent it in the library, not feeling like facing Camila and Keaton. I couldn't wait for the game to start, I just really needed a way to let out all the anger that I had started to bottle up inside and Softball seemed perfect for that. 

Back in California the only people who would come to watch us play softball were our closest friends and family members, the bleachers mostly stayed empty and we more played for ourselves and our families than for an actual audience, yet in Miami the bleachers were packed with students. I was sure I had never seen so many people at an high school softball game. It made me almost nervous having to play for such an large audience. 

The sun was already settling and the floodlights had been turned on, casting the field in an almost yellow glow. The lights were coming from 4 different directions, creating 4 different shadows of myself. 

We were during our warm ups when I spotted Normani, Shawn and Camila making their way up the metal stairs of the bleachers. All three of them were dressed in our school colors. Immediately I could feel my heart rate pick up and my stomach flipping at the fact that Camila was still wearing my varsity jacket. 

I smiled, but it faltered right at the moment I watched Camila tripping on her way up the stairs. My heart stopped beating for a second, afraid that she would tumble down the stairs and break something, but Shawn had acted quickly and wrapped a protective arm around her waist, preventing her from falling. I watched as they laughed and Camila reached out for Shawn's arm for safety. I don't know why, but it seriously annoyed me. 

"Ralph!" Dinah called out, followed by a ball hitting me right in the head. Annoyed I turned towards her, raising a questioning eyebrow at her. 

"Come on lauser, the game's about to begin." 

The other Team turned out to be pretty good, actually we were almost equal in strength. With so many people watching, our competitive spirit was raised and we really wanted to win this game. 

Before the last inning started, I let my eyes sweep over the bleacher for a last time, stopping at the 4 familiar people I had been watching quite a lot tonight, more specificly the cute girl with the bow in her hair, that was still wearing my varsity jacket. They were hard to see with the lights on both sides of the bleacher, but not impossible. They were loudly cheering on our team, even holding up a sign, that I was unable to read due to the shadows the floodlight was causing. 

The game was coming to an end and three of us were still on base. We only needed 2 more points to win the game. It was the last pitch and everything was up to Dinah now. One strike and we would loose the game, One hit and we would have a chance to win. Every eye was on the pitcher and we were getting ready to run. The moment we heard the thump of the wooden bat connecting with the ball we ran.

I ran like my life depended on it and once I had made it, I realized that Dinah had hit a damn home run. We waited for her to run into our base and immediately started to celebrate. We won the first game of the season! Overtaken by euphoria we all jumped Dinah and began hugging each other. Someone petted my back and Kehlani bump her shoulder against mine. 

"Look, there's a hotty coming your way." She smirked, nodding her head into the direction behind me, giving me a wink. 

Excitedly I turned around, coming face to face with Keaton. For some reason my heart dropped in disappointment. I had expected someone else. Thankfully there wasn't enough time for him to read my disappointment, as he swept me off my feet and whirled me around. 

"I told you, you guys would win." He laughed, letting me down to the ground again, putting an arm around my shoulder. He turned us towards Dinah and the rest of the team, giving them a thumbs up. Thats when I saw Camila giving Dinah a koala hug. Suddenly I felt a string of envy. What if I had hit that home run, would Camila have ran into my arms and given me a koala hug, I wondered. Instantly I could feel my mood drop, the smile fading from my face altogether. 

"Hey mopey whats up? We just won the first game of the season!" Kehlani said excitedly, trying to pull me to the rest of the team. 

I quickly stopped her and removed Keaton's arm from around my shoulder. "I'll meet you in a second, okay?" I said to Keaton, quickly making my way to the locker room. 

I needed room to breath and a moment for myself. I quickly took off my clothes and jumped into the showers. I let the lukewarm water run over my skin, trying to take in slow breaths, leaning my arms against the shower-wall with my head buried against them. My tears began mixing with the water as I desperately hoped that the rest of the team would celebrate just for a bit longer so I had some more time to recover. 

I sniffed and ran a hand through my wet hair. There was no win, trying to fight myself. I could never reveal the secret that's tearing me apart inside. I had tried so long to lock these sort of feelings away, but I knew that it was inevitable, one day they had to catch up with me. My memories had been forgotten in the middle of the war between my heart and my mind. The desire for this girl held me captive and there was only one way out, one that I did not plan on taking. 

I jumped, hearing the doors loudly clank open, announcing the arrival of the rest of my team. I quickly took in a deep breath, wiping my eyes and finishing of my shower. I was first to come out of the locker room, already finding Shawn, Camila and Normani talking to Keaton.

"Lauren! You guys won!" Camila yelled excitedly, once she spotted me and made a sprint towards me, hurling herself into my arms. My heart swelled and my breath got stuck on its way out as her body collided with mine. I quickly dropped my bag in order to hold Camila up by her waist. 

"Yea, thanks to Dinah." I muttered, hugging her back, not wanting to let go. 

"Don't let Dinah hear you say that." Camila chuckled, leaning back to look into my eyes. I smiled at her, feeling something in my stomach steer. "You were really good too, tough!" she quickly whispered in my ear smiling brightly.

I felt a blush creeping up my neck and shook my head at her. "Yeah, yeah... ."

"... and yes. Camila is absolutely coming with us!" I heard Normani say and both me and Camila let go and turned to the rest of the group. 

"Normani... ." Camila sighed, looking a little sad all of the sudden.

"Whats going on?" I asked a little confused. I looked from Camila to Normani wondering what they were talking about. 

"Mila hates parties, but Dinah's making all of us go to Harry's later." Shawn answered for the girls looking not so happy at the prospect as well. 

"Why? Come on Camzi! You need to come! It'll be fun." I said faster than my brain was able to catch up with the words coming out of my mouth. I really need to stop doing this.

"Its just not my thing." Camila answered, shuffling awkwardly on her feet. 

"Come on Mila. You cant leave me alone with them." Shawn pleaded.

"Its your own fault, Shawn! Why would you ever make a bet with Dinah?"

Shawn only sighed in defeat. "Come on Camz. We can hang out all night and make fun of people who cant dance." I tried convincing her. I knew I was just making the whole situation even worse for myself but I just couldn't help it. 

"Yea sure I agree now and then you guys leave me alone and I end up playing with the dog until you guys finally decide you have enough and want to go home.. ." Camila answered miserably. 

"I wouldn't do that." Shawn quickly interjected and I raised my eyebrow at her, pointing at Shawn. "See, he wouldn't do that."

She only rolled her eyes at me, but then nodded her head in confirmation. "Okay... whatever, but I'm making you guys personally responsible if I'm having a bad time."

 

It took Keaton and me longer than anticipated to get to Harry's party, but once we had arrived it wasn't hard to guess which house was Harry's. The music was loudly blasting through the whole street and there was only one house brightly lit with teenagers in the front yard wildly dancing and smoking.

We made our way inside the house, squeezing our way through half naked, sweaty bodies that were dancing and sucking faces all around us. The music was so loud, it literally rattled the floor. I walked into the kitchen, getting myself a beer and only then noticed that I seemed to have lost Keaton somewhere in the crowd, but decided to go look for Camila and the rest of the group first.

Most people were already pretty heavily intoxicated, slurring their words and grinding up on each others bodies in a way that would make a nun faint. My eyes cafully scanned over every head in the room and it wasn't easy finding them, but after a moment I noticed someone familiar.

I spotted Shawn's tall, lanky body standing on the edge of the dancing crowd and made my way towards them. He was awkwardly swaying from one foot to the other with his hands in his pockets next to Camila. Camila on the other hand was doing 'the sprinkler'.

I wasn't sure which one of them looked more hilarious. I stared at Camila and it only took a second for our eyes to meet. Her eyes instantly went wide and her face turned a bright shade of red. She quickly stopped dancing and made her way towards me. At this point I was full on laughing at Camila who took a hold of my wrist and pulled me a little of to the side.

"Oh god! Please tell me you didn't see that!" Camila yelled because of the loud music, still red faced.

"Do you mean how you were doing the sprinkler? Nah, definitely didn't see that." I answered feeling my eyes water with laughter, as I tried to steady myself with one hand on her shoulder.

"Oh god!" She repeated, hiding her face inside her hands in embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it, it was kind of cute." I answered, as my laughs were slowly dying down.

"Shut up." She giggled, pushing my shoulders lightly.

I could feel my heart skip a beat at the sound of her laugh and felt a thousand times better, knowing that I had caused it. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and lead her to one of the empty sofas on the side. I was left wondered for the hundredths time how it was possible for this girl to mange to shake my entire world upside down. Once we sat down on the sofa I offered her my beer, but she only shook her head.

"Sorry. I don't... uhm. I don't drink." the brunette answered a little embarrassed.

"Oh, okay. You don't have to apologize." I laughed , enjoying to see her face grow red again. "Do you want me to get you a coke or something?"

"No, but thanks... . So, this is how kids our age have fun?" Camila asked, causally glancing around the party, looking a little skeptical and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I hate parties! I never know what I'm supposed to do, you know."

"Well... you could dance with somebody, like those two over there." I joked, pointing with my beer bottle into the direction of a couple who seemed to be doing something very inappropriate for a dance floor.

Camila squinted her eyes at the couple in shock. "Oh god, are they... you know?" She asked, making a vague gesture with her hands.

"Honestly, I don't even want to know." I said laughing. I scanned the rest of the crowd, taking a sip from my beer. "But other than that, you could get drunk, or make out with somebody... ."

"Well, first of all I don't drink and second of all I'm definitely not making out with anyone tonight." She answered blushing again.

We were quiet for a minute and I watched her carefully. Damn I could look at her forever and never get tired of it. My eyes slowly ghosted over her attire and only now did I notice that she was still wearing my jacket. I looked down at her hands which suddenly began playing uncomfortably with the sleeves of her jacket.

"You're still wearing my jacket." I more stated than asked, feeling suddenly a lot hotter than before.

"Oh! Yea, uhm do you want it back? Sorry, I totally forgot to uhm, yea I'll just... ." She spoke, her words coming out in a rush as she got up to take it off. I smirked at her and quickly stopped her rambling by pulling her down onto the sofa again.

"No, its fine. It suits you really well. You can give it back to me whenever." I answered shrugging my shoulders and taking another sip from my beer, quickly hiding my own blush from her.

"Are you sure?" She asked with a bright smile, happily wrapping the jacket tighter around herself and leaning her shoulder against mine. Her soft brown eyes were blinking up at me and I could feel my stomach doing flips.

"Yes." I chuckled, feeling the warmth slowly run up my neck and into my cheeks.

"Thanks, Lo. Hey, can I ask you something?" She asked, blushing again. God why was she blushing so much?

"You just did." I joked, but nodded my head for her to go on.

"Can I uhm... Can I see your tattoo?" She tentatively asked, pointing at the back of my neck.

"Sure." I answered, turning my back towards her and pushing my hair to the side in order for her to see it better. "Its a dragonfly, I got it for my grandmother."

Unexpectedly Camila traced her fingers over the skin on my neck, causing a shiver to go through my whole body. I closed my eyes at the sensation, cursing myself because there was no way she hadn't noticed my reaction.

"Its really pretty. I like it." I heard Camila say. I turned back towards her and realized that she was staring at my lips.

"Thanks." I whispered, swallowing hard and cursing the waver in my voice. Camila continued staring at my lips and I was left wondering if she wanted to make me nervous, because if she was, she was succeeding. My whole body began shaking with nerves and I could swear I had just watched Camila licking her lips.

No Lauren! Don't! It was probably only the lights playing some trick on you.

To my relieve Camila shook her head and leaned back against the sofa, her eyes slowly sweeping over the dancing crowd. I awkwardly cleared my throat and took another sip from my beer, trying to find my composure again. What was this girl doing to me?

"Let me guess, this one's your birthday." She suddenly laughed, running her thumb up and down the 'XX VII' tattoo on my arm. I looked down at her fingers, feeling chills running down my back, only finding myself able to nod my head in confirmation.

"Lauren?" Camila asked, licking her lips. My breathing was getting heavier, as I felt her fingers running down my arm towards my hand. Her expressive dark, brown eyes were boring into mine and I started sweating profoundly, while my whole body relentlessly shook with nerves.

Unvoluntarily my eyes flickered from her laser stare down to our hands, which she was intertwining and I only managed to get out a lousy: "Hm?"

"I-I was uhm ... ." Camila started. Her voice was high but raspy like she had something in her throat.

"LAUUREN!"

"CAMILA!"

Our moment instantly came to an end and I quickly ripped my hand away from hers. An action I immediately regretted when I saw the hurt written all over her face, making me feel worse than a punch in the gut.

Dinah let herself fall onto the sofa in between us and wrapped an arm around each of our shoulders.

"If you guys are finished verbally copulating, we should get Camila drunk." Dinah slurred, obviously drunk of her ass.

"Ay Lauren! What do you call a sleepwalking nun?" Kehlani asked, dropping herself into my lap after she realized there was no space left on the sofa. She wrapped her arms around me, leaning closer and I instantly could smell the tequila on her breath.

I only shrugged my shoulders annoyed at the interruption and still in a sort of trance that held me captive as I tried to find my composure.

To my surprise Camila pointed her index finger at Kehlani and yelled. "Oh my god, A roamin catholic!"

I watched Kehlani's eyes grow wider and her eyes flickered from me to Camila and back. "I like that girl!" she stated looking proudly at Camila. I only shook my head at her, relieved that I probably only imagined the hurt look on Camila's face, judging by how she was laughing right now.

"How you doing, Camila? You having fun?" Dinah asked, while trying to find the right angle for a selfi.

I didn't know why, but my whole body was still shaking, so I quickly took the opportunity and pushed Kehlani off and got up. "Hey, I'm getting another beer, do you guys want anything?"

Apparently no one was listening, so I quickly made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door behind myself, taking in deep breaths, trying to stop my body from shivering. All my nerves seemed to be on edge and I had no idea why, so I sat down on the bathtub and took in multiple deep breath, trying to calm down.

What had Camila been wanting to tell me? No! I shouldn't be thinking about that! Where the hell was Keaton? I slowly wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans and took another deep breath before making my way outside again.

I picked up another beer bottle for myself and poured Camila a plastic cup with coke. When I had made my way halfway across the room, I spotted Camila sitting next to Liam, who was obviously flirting with her. I tightened the grip on my beer bottle, feeling the green emotion of envy creeping up my spine.

I was about to make my way over there, when I felt a pair of arms hugging me from behind and pulling me into a familiar body.

"Hey beautiful, wanna dance?" Keaton breathed into my ear. I quickly turned and hummed in agreement. I needed to forget Camila and he was the only one I hoped could archive that.

Camila's POV

Since I can remember I hated parties. I disliked everything about them, but that normally didn't stop Dinah and Normani from dragging me to one. They would usually ditch me at some point and the rest of the night would be spent miserably searching for food, or with me sitting somewhere bored in the corner waiting for the night to come to an end. 

Tonight wasn't any different, I had convinced Dinah and Normani to let me stay at home, but when Lauren asked, I found myself unable to say no. I should have known that it was never ever going to work out the way it had played out in my head. 

In my head I was already with Lauren on the couch in a heavy make out session, ugh! I really hated my mind always making up these ridiculous, very unlikely scenarios that left me aching even more for her. 

I knew it was only wishful thinking, especially when I spotted Keaton and Lauren dancing closely together across the room. I wanted to slap myself for agreeing to go to this stupid party. 

I found myself unable to keep my eyes away from the dancing couple, feeling my insides trembling uncomfortably at the sight. Dinah and Kehlani had left after Lauren had walked off, but thankfully Liam had sat down in their place, not leaving me all alone to entertain myself. 

Liam and I shared Music class together. I knew that he was a pretty good singer, but other than that we were complete strangers. Conversation seemed to come easy to him, as he joked a little, even making me smile once or twice. I guess he had caught on to how miserable I was feeling at the moment and was trying to make me feel a little better, yet he did not help the constriction that I was feeling in my chest. 

I was glad that he was doing most of the talking, as I was unable to catch most of the things he was saying and as much as I tried to listen to what he was saying, there was was only one thing occupying my mind and that was Lauren. 

I was utterly unable to keep my eyes from flickering over to the dancing couple, feeling like my head was filled with cotton. I hated having to see them like that, so close and unrestrained. My chest felt tight and the sadness inside made it hard for me to breath or focus on anything else but them and the more I continued to watch them together, the deeper the knife seemed to bury itself into my heart.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" Liam asked nonchalantly, sipping on his beer.

I cleared my throat and shook my head no, not trusting my voice not to crack. My gaze went back to Lauren and I was shocked to catch her staring right back at me, sending something warm and unfamiliar rushing through my veins. We held our gazes for a long moment, until Liam pulled me back into our previous conversation.

"I-I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked frozen with my heart in my throat. 

He only chuckled and shook his head at me. "Let me." he mumbled, leaning closer towards me, removing something from my cheek. I blinked at him several times.

"Eyelash." Liam clarified with a smile. 

"Oh, thanks." I forced a smile and my eyes went involuntarily back to Lauren, who to my horror was making out with Keaton. I watched them, feeling the bile rise up in my throat and my stomach twisting in uncomfortable ways. 

"Are you alright, Camila?" Liam asked concerned, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, obviously picking up on my drastic mood change. 

"I-I think I need to lay down or something." I mumbled, suddenly feeling a little light headed. I wanted to get up and leave this place for good, but I didn't trust my legs to carry me all the way out of here without me making a fool of myself. 

"I don't think you're gonna be invited." he suddenly joked, leaving me a little confused. 

I furrowed my brows at him, but he only smiled sympathetically back at me, as his eyes flickering to the two people I kept staring at. Shit!

"Since you keep watching them, I'm guessing you already have your eyes on someone, huh?" he chuckled knowingly. 

Embarrassed I let out a deep breath, shacking my head. "Just look at the way she is nuzzling into him... ." I said miserably, staring at them again only to catch Lauren staring right back at me, while in the middle of making out with Keaton. I felt my whole body freeze up. I stopped breathing, keeping the girls eye contact as I felt my heart beating unhealthily hard and fast, barely able to hear anything other than the blood rushing in my ears. Why the hell was she watching me? 

Our eyes stayed locked and I was almost mesmerized at the way her eyes were watching me, almost taunting me to do something. 

I felt Liam's hand squeeze my shoulder, ripping me out of my trance. "Damn, thats brutal." 

I couldn't find it in myself to respond to him, I only kept staring at Lauren, who was still staring right back at me while heavily making out with her damn boyfriend. The tension between us was getting ticker and I couldn't take it anymore. Everything was so confusing, what was she trying to tell me? I wanted to make sense of this, but I only ended up with nothing more than even more confusion. 

Their kisses were getting more frantic and I watched as Keaton took a hold of Laurens arm and began pulling her forcefully up the stairs. My stomach got sick, I couldn't take this anymore. I snapped for air as a warm tear began running down my cheek. I quickly pressed my eyes close, not wanting to cry in front of all these people. 

I felt my vision blur with tears as my hands shook with anger and sadness, that was until I felt Liam drawing out circles with his hands on my back. I didn't dare to look at him, but I realized that he was talking to somebody that wasn't me. All I knew was that I wanted out of this place, as far away as I could. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what Lauren and Keaton were about to do in the same house I was in.

I knew that I had no reason to feel hurt or jealous, because Lauren and I didn't have anything remotely more than friendship, but that thought alone made me want to suffocate. The thought of them upstairs was slowly killing me and I needed to leave. Liam was still talking to somebody, but I was unable to hear anything but the loud pounding of my heart. I got up and collided with somebody I hadn't realized was there. 

I tried to push my way around that person, only for them to take a hold of my wrist and pull me into them. I could instantly smell Shawn's perfume invading my senses and I never had been more relieved to have him as a friends as I was right now. 

"Can we please go somewhere else?" 

He quickly embraced me, pulling me into his chest and began leading me outside the house. My whole body felt like it was on autopilot as I followed Shawn to the car. It took everything in me to hold off my sobs as we made our way to wherever Shawn was taking us. 

The car ride was silent and there were so many things I wanted to say to him, but they just wouldn't come out. So I numbly sat next to him, desperately trying to keep my tears from spilling. 

Once we arrived at my home, Shawn had quickly walked over to my side and helped me out of the car. I didn't know what I was supposed to say to him, everything seemed to much and not enough, so I gave him a quick hug,

"Do you want me to come inside with you?" He asked, pushing a stand of hair behind my ear, but I only shook my head and quickly turned away from him. I was thankful for everything he had done, but everything seemed to much at this moment so I quickly made my way inside. 

I was careful to be quiet as I made my way upstairs into my room, praying I wouldnt wake my parents or worse my sister. 

I held my tears in until my head hit my pillow and the sobs instantly wracked through my body. All I what to do was scream the pain I was feeling into my pillow, but I know that I couldn't. With every tear that spilled out of my eyes, my pillow got wetter and there seemed to be no end in sight. 

I hated myself for falling for Lauren and I hated Lauren for making me feel this way.

Apparently my prayers had fallen on deaf ears. There was a knock on my door, but before I had time to answer it was already pushed open.

"Karla? Is that you?" 

I felt my heart sink even further, how the hell was I going to explain this to my mother. I stopped breathing, hoping she would just turn around and leave, but it had been impossible as another sob wracked through my body and I heard my mothers making her way over to my bed in three quick steps. 

"Mija? What happened?... Whats wrong?" My mother asked concerned, crawling into my bed and settling down next to me. I looked up, red faced, wiping the snot away before reaching out and hiding my face in her chest.

"Its alright, I got you, mija." she whispered, wrapping her arms around me protectively as she slowly rocked us back and forth. She stroked my wet hair away from my face and hummed a tune from Celia Cruz. If I hadn't been so upset I would have laughed at her choice of song. 

"Karla, can you please tell me what happened?" The concern in her voice made me feel beyond guilty. I knew I was acting over the top, but still it felt like my whole world was crushing in on me. 

"I don't want to talk about it." I sniffed, wiping the tears from my eyes. She kissed my head and pressed me back against her chest as we settled down comfortably on my bed.

Her hand was slowly caressing my hair as she continued her humming. I wondered what my mother would say if I confessed my feelings for Lauren right now.

"Mija? Did Lauren drop you off?"

My eyes went wide and I quickly leaned back, feeling all color drain from my face.

"What? No. Why are you asking?"

"I was just wondering why you're wearing her jacket." she simply stated, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

I released a shaky breath, realizing that indeed I was still wearing her jacket. With that realization another wave of tears began streaming down my cheeks. All I wanted to do was to take it off and rip it apart, like Lauren had just done with my heart, but then the faint scent of Laurens perfume and cigarette smoke that always seemed to cling to her invaded my senses and I felt like I was inhaling shards of glass.

"Mija, I know you don't want to talk about it right now, but can you at least give me an idea of what happened?" My mother asked again, sounding a little unsettled at this point.

I realized as bad as the situation was right now, now was a good time as ever to tell her about Lauren, so I took in a deep breath and gathered the rest of my strength.

"A-After the game we went to a friends house. A-And...there is this... uhm... there is this...gi" I sniffed, taking another deep breath in, preparing myself for what I was about to say.

"This crush?" My mother tried to help and I only stared back at her, slowly nodded my head yes. "And he wasn't interested?" 

"S-He... he was with somebody else... ." I sobbed, hating myself for the words that unexpectedly came out of my mouth. 

"Oh, mija!" She let out a long breath of relieve, bringing me into a tight embrace. "Well, who ever he is, he doesn't deserve you. Don't worry Karla, you are so young and I know everything seems like the end of the world right now, but don't worry you will meet someone else, who is a thousand times better than him."

Him? I thought as I let the sobs take over my body again, hating myself even more after I wasn't even able to confess my true feeling to my own mother. Why was it so hard for me to admit? All I needed to say was that I'm in love with Lauren, or that my crush is a she. My crush is a girl... My crush is a girl... its so easy... just. "I think I'm in love with a girl."

All of a sudden I could feel my mothers body tense up and the hand that was caressing my hair suddenly stilled. I sniffed, wiping my eyes again realizing that my Mamà was holding her breath. Hold up! Did I just say that outloud? 

 

 

Oh, wow. I have no idea where all the angst came from in this chapter, gee. But don't worry, the next chapters are going to be a little more uplifting.

Also this turned out to be longer than expected, I still hope you guys liked it. Thanks for reading!


	13. Pretenders

Lauren's POV

Camila was sitting on the sofa, watching me with an intensity in her brown eyes, that sent shivers down my back. Keaton was pressing himself closer to me, his hands more daringly exploring my body the more furious our make out session got, but I payed him no mind.

All my senses felt overloaded and I had no time to think of the consequences of my actions. The logical part of my mind just shut down, as I imagined to be with the Cuban sitting on the couch instead. All I saw was her, all I felt was Camila's soft lips on mine, her warm, swift hands roaming up my sides and not his. The mind is a funny thing, If you imagine something hard enough you can fool your body into believing it.

But then, everything happened so quickly that I was barely able to register what was going on. One minute I was making out with Camila and the next I was dragged up the stairs and shoved into an empty bedroom. Only when my calves hit the edge of the bed and I was pushed backwards, did I finally come back to my senses. Keaton on the other hand did not waist any more time and quickly moved on top of me.

"Keat... wai!" I breathed out, but was immediately silenced by his tongue that was shoved down my throat. I groaned in displeasure, tasting the beer and the cheap whiskey he had consumed on his tongue.

I could feel my insides panic, this wasn't what I wanted. I turned my head away from him to catch my breath and began pushing his shoulders, only giving him the opportunity to move his kisses down my neck.

I could feel him grind his body against mine and I felt my head spinning at the lighting speed everything was happening.

"Kea... Stop!" I almost shouted, roughly pushing his shoulders, when I felt his hands fumble with the button on my jeans.

I squirmed uncomfortably under him, feeling him slowly unzip my jeans and a sudden rush of adrenalin took over and I grabbed his wrists in a death grip, causing him to stop any further ministration he had in mind.

"Whats wrong beautiful?" He asked, slowly pecking the side of my face, waiting for my answer.

His eyes were unfocused and full with lust. I knew he was drunk and it only took a second for him to move his wrist out of my hold, to tug on the belt loops of my jeans, trying to pull them off.

"Waitwaitwait... wait." I breathed out again, quickly hiding my face behind my hands.

"What? Huh, whats wrong?" he groaned sounding almost annoyed? "Come on, I have been waiting for so long." He moved his hands up to my chest again, continuing to pepper my neck with kisses.

"I... just... Keaton, would you stop! Hold on!" I shouted exasperatedly this time, pushing him more forcefully than I had intended to. It seemed to sober him up somewhat, as he finally leaned up, to look me over.

"I-I cant... ." I mumbled, shaking my head, running a hand through my dark hair. He only stared at me with that look of disbelieve and hurt written all over his face.

He slowly lifted himself off and sat down on the edge of the bed, fumbling with his hands. All of the sudden I felt anxious and embarrassed. I quickly pushed my shirt back down to hide my exposed abdomen from his eyes, causing him to roll his eyes and shake his head at me.

I swallowed hard as I took in his hurt expression, that was until he got up and looked angrily back at me. "Seriously? Why?"

I stayed silent, not sure what I was supposed to say. What could I even say? That I couldn't do it because he wasn't her?

I looked away, trying to find the right response, but came up empty. After another moment of silence he let his hand run through his shaggy blond hair, looking more furious with me then ever.

"Whatever... just get me off then... I wont need long." He said, pulling down the zipper of his own jeans. My eyes quickly widened and I swiftly moved forward to stop him from actually pulling himself out. A sudden fear settled in my bones, one that I had not been familiar with. Everything about this felt wrong and I wanted to puke. What was he thinking?

I wanted to run out of this house and slap myself across the face for being so damn dumb. "W-what are you doing?"

"What do you mean what am I doing? Just you know... suck me... "

"No!" I was quick to interrupt him, feeling the bile at the back of my throat. How could I even let this get so far? What was I doing up here, with him? I should be downstairs and do whatever, just having fun, not this.

"What do you mean no? Fuck Lauren... this is like the 5th time you're giving me fucking blue balls... You know that shit hurts like hell... ." He huffed, throwing his hands up in the air exasperatedly.

"I... I... ." I responded intelligently, still unable to find the right words.

"You... you .... You what" He yelled, obviously mocking me. He was seriously pissing me off now, how could he not understand that I wasn't ready to do that... with him.

"Come on... at least put your mouth on it... You'll like it. I just want your beautiful lips... ."

I pushed myself up and off the bed, coming face to face with him. "No, goddammit Keaton! I dont want to."

"Its always the same fucking thing with you... first you act all into it and then you suddenly don't want to... I'm mean you wont even consider it... and when I ask you for a little head you act like I asked you to kill a puppy or something . You're supposed to be my freaking girlfriend, Lauren..."

I could not believe my ears at the moment. Did he seriously want to argue about this? I scrunched up my face in sudden disgust, how could I ever think I could fall in love with this person standing in front of me right now?

"... Why should I even consider giving you head, when you cant even go down on me?" I fired back. I didn't want him to do that either, but I knew for a fact that that wasn't something he ever wanted to do, or would even take in consideration of doing, it was the only thing that could stop this pointless argument.

"Because its gross... ." He answered with a shrug, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh... so that's gross? Don't you think its gross to put my mouth on that" I answered angrily, vaguely pointing at his crotch.

"Its more natural for girls to do it... I mean they do it all the time... ." He smirked, leaning in towards me. "Besides it doesn't do anything for you, but my friend will."

"You disgust me!"

I did not even recognize the guy standing in front of my right now. Disgusted I shook my head at him, not understanding what I ever saw in him.

"Come on... Dont be such a prude and just do it. ... Thats what a good girlfriend would do anyway."

I stared at him in shock, with my mouth hanging open. Did he really just say that? "Wow, okay." I scoffed, quickly closing the button on my pants and smoothing out my hair.

"How about you go find yourself a 'girlfriend' then who is willing to do that? Mhm?" I shouted angrily and made my way out of the room.

"Wait... Lauren where are you going?" He yelled after me, trying to take a hold of my wrist. I yanked my arm out of his reach and ran downstairs. Tears began streaming down my cheeks and I was glad that the bathroom was empty and I could get in without having people asking any questions.

I locked the door behind myself and steadied myself on the sink, trying to calm down. The adrenalin was slowly leaving my system, making my senses almost more alert then they were a second ago. My whole body was shaking with anger, that wanted, needed to be let out.

A second later, my fist collided with the wall and then again and again and again, until all the pressure was relieved and out of my system and I was finally able to breath more freely again. My body was still shaking with anger and nerves, but it was only a small shimmer at this point.

None of this was right. I knew Keaton had feeling for me and I was just with him to satisfy other people, but he still mattered to me. I looked down at the split skin of my knuckles, releasing another slow breath. None of this was fair. Keaton was probably beating himself up right about now because he was being an asshole, and rightly so, but all I wanted to do was run into Camila's arms and beg her to hold me. Everything about this was just so wrong.

I turned on the water of the sink, cleaning my knuckles and taking in a deep breath. I stared at my reflection, wiping the traces of my tears away and reapplying some makeup as to not be to obvious. I checked myself for one last time and then made my way outside the bathroom again.

I walked back to the couch I had seen Camila at last, but finding it now occupied by a different couple. I sighed heavily, running a hand through my hair. I had promised her that she was going to have fun tonight, just another promise I could add to the shelve of not upheld promises to her.

I made my way through the crowd, looking for the Cuban girl, but to my displeasure I couldn't find her anywhere and was left wondering where she could have gone. I hadn't been gone for that long.

"Hey, Loo." I heard someone say behind me and turned only to see Kehlani looking at me with a curious gaze. "Are you alright?"

I quickly nodded my head, not trusting my voice not to crack. Both of her eyebrows rose in doubt, as she walked towards me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leading me somewhere outside.

"Tell me what happened!"

"What? Nothing happened." I argued.

"Oh please, Lauren. There is not a thing about badly reapplied mascara that I don't know." Kehlani scoffed, pulling me down on an empty bench and brushing a strand of hair away from my face.

I cleared my throat, quickly looking away from her. "Do you know... uhm where Camila went? I kinda promised her that I wouldn't ditch her tonight, but I left with Keaton for just a minute and when I came back, I couldn't find her again." I asked, hoping that I sounded as nonchalant as I hoped.

She shrugged and looked to be in deep thought for a minute. "I'm not sure, but I think I saw her leave the party with Shawn a couple minutes ago. They looked pretty cozy together." Kehlani answered and honestly I would have preferred her to punch me in the face, then to hear her say those words.

"Oh." I mumbled, wiping my sweating hands on my jeans. "Well, at least Shawn could uphold his promise to her." I mumbled bitterly to myself, turning away from Kehlani so she wouldn't see the tear running down my cheek.

I could feel Kehlani's curious gaze back on me and I gulped, quickly trying to blink the rest of the tears away that were threating to spill for a second time tonight. I hated showing emotions in front of other people, but when it came to the topic of Camila it seemed to be something that was just inevitable.

"Oh, hey gurl, no don't worry, I didn't mean like cozy as in they were going to make out in the car or something... I think she wasn't feeling well and Shawn just took her home." Kehlani quickly rushed out, putting her arm over my shoulders.

"What?" I asked turning my head so quickly that I got dizzy for a second.

"Don't be sad, Lo. I don't even think Camila is interested in him in that way. Believe me he wont be the one stealing your girl." Kehlani laughed, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket and placing one hanging out of her mouth slightly, as she lit the end of it.

Wait! Did I really just hear her say that? I needed a moment to really process her words. Kehlani had always made these stupid insinuations about Camila and me, especially after my complete breakdown when she hadn't recognized me on my first day back, but she was only teasing me about this, right? She couldnt actually know of my real feelings towards the girl. She couldnt know! How would she even know... I had a boyfriend... No, I have a boyfriend. No, there was no way.

"Do you want one?" She asked, holding out the open pack towards me, exhaling deeply.

"W-why... why would I... No... Its not about Camila, I dont care that she left with Shawn." I lied, subtly wiping at my eyes and leaning my head on her shoulder. "I had a fight with Keaton... ."

"Oh, okay!" Kehlani said, sitting up a little straighter. I shifted, looking up at her and noticed that she looked slightly taken aback, as if she hadn't expected that answer. She took a deep puff and blew it out, wrapping her arm around me again, pulling me tighter into her embrace.

"I didn't know... I mean, what happened? Do I need to whoop his ass?"

I suddenly had this strong urge, I wanted to tell her so bad, I knew this girl would never in a million years think bad about me because of that, but as much as I wanted to I just couldn't. I thought back to what had happened once my mother had found out about Alexis.

'Only because you want to doest mean you should...' I heard my mothers voice echo in the back of my mind. What if she thought ill of me? What if K would turn on me, because I had feelings for a girl? I knew that she liked girls also... maybe everything would turn weird between us once she found out.

I shifted again and reached out, taking the cigarette from her.

"We all have feelings for out best friends, doesn't mean we should act on them..."

I brought it to my lips and also took a deep drag and then stared at the cigarette, thinking over my answer.

"Keaton and I made out earlier and you know one thing lead to another and before I knew what was happening he was pulling me up the stairs and next thing I knew we were on the bed and he wanted to... you know, do it... but I kinda told him that I didn't want to and he was pissed, I mean he was really pissed." I took another drawl of the cigarette and passed it back to Kehlani.

"Keaton? Are you serious? Well... fuck him." She scoffed angrily, rubbing her hand comfortingly down my arm. "He's not worthy anyway. And Lauren don't feel guilty about not wanting to have sex with him. Seriously he is an asshole if he made you feel pressured about that... he should know better. I mean you guys only been together for what? 2 months? What does he expect?"

"K, most girls sleep with their boyfriends after a couple of weeks... ." I answered guiltily, looking at my hands feeling a little embarrassed.

"Not High School girls... ." She laughed. "Even so, so what? You're not like most girls... Seriously don't feel bad about not wanting to fuck him right away... Honestly I still don't get why you're dating him anyway."

I buried my face deeper in her neck, breathing in her perfume and finding some comfort in it. Kehlani always had something comforting about herself, something that didn't make you feel like a complete idiot, but as much as I wanted to tell her about Camila, I just couldn't get the words out. My mouth opened and closed a couple times, but the words just would not come out. I was just overwhelmed with all these darn feelings, what could I even say?

"Its not that I feel bad about not wanting to have sex with him.... ."

Her brows furred and she leaned slightly away in order to get a better look at me. "Then why were you crying? You know you can talk to me right? About anything."

Shit, did I just got caught in my own lie? Ugh! I shook my head, looking at the ground. Her eyes were continuously studying me, making me only feel worse about not telling her the truth.

"What if... What if I never want to have sex with him?"

"I guess that he wont be happy to hear that." she answered with a chuckle, taking another drag from her cigarette. There was a long moment of silence between us, where she took several puffs, until she exhaled the longest breath yet and said:

"Its your decision, but Lo..." she began, sitting up a little straighter, clearing her throat awkwardly. "You always go on about how much you like him. Why don't you want to have sex with him? ...Cuz bitch, I know you ain't asexual." she laughed slightly, mashing the butt of the cigarette out on the bench's armrest and flicking it into a nearby hedge.

Because I'm in love with Camila; I want to scream in her face. She is the only person I want to sleep with and who I want to kiss and touch. She is the only one I think about late at night, when I'm alone, when the whole world is sleeping and no one's watching, or judging me. When I can be myself, when I can just be me without a mask, without hiding my real emotions, without having to pretend. She is the person my mind wanders to late at night, when my hands stray below my waist and bring me to my release, when I'm allowed to be myself because no ones is around, even if its just for an hour, even if its only in my head.

I shrug in response.

"Lo?" she slowly drawled out, turning towards me so she was full on facing me. "Don't take this the wrong way okay."

I narrowed my eyes at her and also sat up a little, afraid what the brown eyed girl was going to say. She slowly brought her hands together and looked me right in the eyes.

"You should be with someone you really want to be with... and not because you want to please your parents. I know all this is kinda scary and shit but you have to remember that you're living your life and not theirs..."

"W-what are you talking about? I love Keaton!" I quickly interrupted her, feeling a knot form inside my stomach. The lie was coming so easily off my lips that I almost wanted to cringe at it. I had been lying about this for so long, what did it matter now. I couldn't let her know.

"Lauren... come on, lets be real here for a sec.... " Kehlani went on and I instantly felt my sadness replaced by anxiety and fear of her knowing my secret. If she had figured it out, who else did?

"What?" I snapped, getting up from the bench to stare her down, feeling utterly outraged at her insinuation, that was sadly more than a little true. "You don't believe me? I love him... ."

"Lauren, please.... Sit down." Kehlani tried, reaching out for my hand, but I quickly pulled away from her.

"Why, so you can accuse me some more of not actually loving my boyfriend?"

Kehlani only rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue, sighing in quiet exasperation. She put her hands up, but continued to keep my gaze.

"Okay, fine then. I think its time I rip off that damn band-aid and give you some truth."

I narrowed my eyes at her, watching as she slowly got up as well and walked towards me, getting right up in my face.

"Stop leading on that poor boy, we all know that you don't have actual feelings for him, even though thats all you go on about. Although I'm not sure if its just us you're trying to convince or yourself, but regardless which it is, your failing horribly at both. Keaton is completely and utterly in love with you, so much so that he doesn't even see that you're completely hung up on Camila. He will be the one ending up hurt, while you will continue drooling over Camila without actually acting upon your feelings which are clearly reciprocated. Stop pulling everyone in your damn confusing game, cuz this shit wont end well if you continue it."

I want to slap her, scream at her that she is wrong and it takes everything in me not to reach out and slap my hand her across the face. Having the truth this brutally ripped out of you and spat in your face is more than uncomfortable, especially when it comes from your closest friend. I knew that she was right and she knew it as well.

"You're delusional. You don't know shit!" I spat, glaring at her as I took another step forward and roughly checked her shoulder on my way past her. I didn't get very far before the first tear began running down my cheek.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The rest of the weekend the thought of everyone knowing my secret hunted me and left me sleepless. What if everyone knew?

The moment I made eye contact with anybody I felt like I was striped naked, to my bare bones as they saw my deepest darkest secrets and everything else they wanted to know about me. I felt open and vulnerable and the fear settled hard and painfully in my insides. Had I been that bad at pretending? What do they see, when they look at me?

How had Kehlani been able to see that side of me, that I tried so hard to hide? Was it what I had said, or what I had done? What had she meant when she had said that Camila clearly reciprocated my feelings? Clearly she didn't. She rather sat with Liam and let him flirt with her, while I ... was making out with Keaton...

Ugh! What the hell was I doing? Kehlani was right, not that I would every admit it to her. She probably hated me now anyway. She was right, if only she knew how on point her accusations had been. But there was also that little fact that Camila had watched me and Keaton make out, while a very attractive guy was sitting next to her and seemed to be all over her, while all she did was pay attention to me. I'm going crazy, Camila didn't have feelings for me, she couldn't. Why else would she have left with Shawn if she had been interested in me?

Remember you went upstairs with Keaton, idiot?" I thought, mentally facepalming myself. Oh God! She never even wanted to go to the party, she only agreed after I practically begged her to come. I guess that could also be explained with the fact that we barely saw each other these days and she just enjoyed spending time with me... . All these thoughts buzzed about my head, like a hoard of angry wasps leaving me even more confused as before.

When Monday finally came around I was still ignoring Keaton, he had probably send me about a hundred text messages and voice mails apologizing for his behavior and that he knew how wrong and sorry he was. I had ignored all of them.

I had been anxious to see how Kehlani would act towards me now after our little disagreement, but was relieved to find out that nothing had changed between us. She greeted me at my locker, cracked some lame jokes and walked off with me to class.

On my way to class, I even had caught a glimpse of Camila, if only for a span of a second, but something had seemed a little off, for some reason she looked upset. The usually bright shining aura that seemed to always surround her, seemed none existent today.

I watched her, as she made her way to another class with her head hung low and her hands wrapped securely around the straps of her bag. I had contemplated walking up to her and question her about it, but the ringing of the warning bell had erased all these thoughts and I quickly hurried to my own class.

After my 3th period I saw Camila at her locker. She was still looking pretty upset. She was shuffling books around, looking for the right one. All my confused thoughts from earlier melted away at the sight of her and this time I didnt need to think twice about walking up to her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side. 

Her dark, brown eyes immediately gazed into mine and I couldn't help but smile down at her, as a familar warmth filled the inside of my stomach. She reciprocated my smile, but I could tell that it wasn't sincere, it didn't reach her eyes, making me instantly feel guilty and send my nerves into an electric frenzy. Was I the cause of her bad mood? 

"Hey, are you okay, Camz?" I asked a little taken a back.

She only answered by nodding her head. She looked away, closing the door of her locker and then turned, causing my arm to slip off of her shoulders.

"You sure?" I asked skeptically, trying to reach out for her hand. "Camz you... ."

"I'm sure, I just have a little headache is all." she shrugged, letting her hair fall into her face. She shuffling uncomfortably on her feet giving me the feeling that she rather be anywhere but here with me. "I have to go now, see you later." I watched as she hurried off and made her way into the opposite direction with her head still hung low, leaving me to wonder what the hell I had done wrong. 

The rest of the week, I tried to avoid Keaton, while Camila seemed to be doing the same thing to me. It just wasn't fair at all. What exactly had I done wrong? I knew that I shouldn't have left her at the party, but did I really deserve this? I just couldn't get my head around the fact why she was so upset with me. Why didn't she want to talk to me? 

After weeks of gentle touches and lingering glances, we seemed to have drifted back to be in different states and I didn't like it one bit. I knew I need to fix this, or the dark pit that was eating me up inside would only get worse. But it seemed to be impossible, even during lunch she was no where to be seen and after questioning Dinah, Normani and even Shawn I was still left with more questions then answers. 

On Thursday just before softball practice I went by the libraray to return my copy of 'Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird', that i had already kept longer than I had been supposed to, it was seriously overdue. What I hadn't expected was to find the Cuban girl sitting in between stacks of books all by herself. 

This was probably the last place she expected me to be right now, but this was probably also my only chance to talk to her before the weekend would come around. A glance at her was enough for me to know that softball was coming in second today. 

Camila was huddling over a thick leather bound textbook, as she was scribbling something into her notebook. She was leaning so close that I was sure her nose was touching the paper. Her dark brunette hair was slightly hanging in her face and her tongue was stuck between her lips as she was busy concentrating on the book in front of her. I made my way over to her. Sliding the chair next to her back in order to sit in it, only to have the brunette jerk up straight in her own chair with a surprised yelp. 

"Lauren?" She slowly breathed out, bringing her left hand up to her chest. "You scared me." She stated, looking me up and down. The look she was giving me told me that I had been the last person she had expected to see, or even wanted to see. Her cold eyes left my stomach in knots, making me wonder if it had been the right decision to walk up to her. How could little, sweet, innocent Camila make me feel this way? 

"Shouldn't you be at softball?" She asked coldly, not even bothering to acknowledge my presents any further, she clicked her pen and continued her writing.

"Probably." I shrugged. "And... Hello to you too." I chuckled slight, feeling uncomfortable all of the sudden. This was a mistake!

"I didn't mean.. I ... You..." Camila tried, releasing a long breath before shaking her head in defeat. "Aren't you missing practice? Cuz Dinah just left and she always makes sure not to be late and...."

"Do you want me to leave?" I interrupted her bluntly, raising my eyebrows at her. 

"No, its just... I know the coach makes all of you run 4 labs if you're late.. thats why Dinah is never late... And I know how much you hate running." She chuckled slightly, but I could tell it was forced. She continued her writing, not even bothering to look at me. I continued to silently stare at her, with my eyebrows raised. I could feel the uncomfortableness radiating off of her and I wondered what I could have done to make things this bad.

"What are you doing here, Lauren?" She asked defeated after long moment of silence, still not daring to catch my eyes. 

I watched her for another moment. Camila was staring down at her open book, probably looking for a way out of this conversation, but I wasn't having any of that, so I reached out and slammed her book shut, causing her to look at me annoyed.

"Uh, I was reading th... ."

"You have been avoiding me."

"What? No, thats not.. I... I wasn't... ." she tried to argue, but when she finally looked up at me and saw that I wasn't buying any of this she sighed in defeat and dropped her pen to the side. "Fine... yes I have been avoiding you."

"Why?"

"I don't know.. ." Camila mumbled, exhaling deeply and leaning back in her chair, keeping her eyes trained on the book in front of her. "Its complicated Lo." 

"Then explain it to me."

She released a long breath, running a hand through her hair, looking like she rather be anywhere but here, with me... . 

"Camz, obviously I did something wrong, can you tell me what I did, so I can fix this?" I asked with a frog in my throat, vaguely pointing my index finger between the two of us. 

Her chocolate brown eyes finally met mine and I couldn't help the tingle that ran down my spine. "No, Lo you didn't ... ."

"Is it because of the party? I know I told you I would spent the night with you and make it somewhat bearable, but I only left for like 10 minutes and after I came back downstairs you were gone and... ." 

"Wait... what? You came back for me?" the brunette asked in utter disbelieve, her eyes studying me carefully. 

"Yes, of course I did. I promised you didn't I?"

"But you went upstairs with Keaton." Camila argued, tilting her head slightly and immediately I could tell what she was implying with that statement. "I know it was more than 10 minutes... ." She said and I was sure that I could hear the hurt in her voice. 

I only shook my head. "No Camz, I mean... yes. We went upstairs, but we got into a fight and a couple minutes later I was back downstairs... looking for you."

"Oh... I didn't know."

"Yea, ... So, are we cool?" I asked looking at her closely. Camila pressed her eyes close for a second, nodding her head in confirmation." Yea, we're cool."

Not even sparing me a glance, Camila opened her textbook again, flicking through the pages and I knew we weren't cool at all. I sighed, closing her textbook again and gaining another 'are you serious?' look from the Cuban next to me. 

"We're not cool."

"We're not?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Obviously we're not." I explained, vaguely pointing my hand at her. "Whats going on Camz? You know you can talk to me right?"

"It's got nothing to do with you, I promise." She sighed and tried to get back to her textbook, but I press my hand down keeping it closed and she looked back at me exasperatedly.

"I thought you trust me." I sighed, retrieving my hand from her book and pushed myself up from the chair to walk away, only to have her pull me down again.

"Fine.. I... I kinda told my mama that.. Well I told her something." She breathed out, trying to find the right words. I put my hand on her knee and her eyes immediately look down at my hand and I wondered if I did something wrong, but then she reached out and placed her own on top of mine, caressing it with her thumb.

"I don't know it was really important to me, but after I told her, she acted like I had made the funniest joke ever and completely ignored me... ."

"What did you tell her?"

Her brown eyes snapped up to mine, as she studied my face for what felt like hours. "I told her that... that I ... well shit." she chuckled bitterly. 

"Just say it, rip it of like a band-ate."

"Thats easier said then done." she said, looking at our hands, playing with my fingers. "I told her that... I ... I don't know Lo, I can't say... I just, I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me?" I asked, leaning slightly away from her, trying to understand the meaning of her words. "Well... okay.... " I mumbled, pulling my hand out of her grasp, only for her to tighten her hold and causing me to look up at her again.

"I just... I don't think that it would be smart to tell you."

Was that supposed to make me feel better? I scoffed, looking away from her in disbelieve. 

"It's just, that I don't know how you would feel about it." she confessed, causing me to look back into her dark, emotional brown eyes.

"I guess we'll never find out, huh?"

"Fine... ." Camila said exasperatedly, taking in a deep breath before staring back at me. "Just know that I warned you... ."

Camila began rocking back and forth in her seat, mulling over her next words and wiping her free sweaty hand up and down her jeans. "I ... I told her that... shit. Okay.. I told her that I think that I... that I have a crush on..."

"LAUREN! God, I have been looking all over for you." I heard Keaton yell and turned only to see him red faced and panting, standing in the middle of the library.

Really? Now? I sighed exasperatedly.

"Can we please talk I ... ." Keaton went on and I could feel Camila swiftly push my hand away from her knee, I looked down, instantly feeling rejected. 

"No, Keaton get out of here I don't want to see you right n... Camila? What are you doing"

Camila had gotten up and was quickly packing everything up, avoiding my gaze again. "I'm sorry Lauren.. It was a stupid idea... I don't know what I was thinking."

"No Camila, wait, what.. ."

"I have to go... ." She quickly breathed out as she rushed past me and out of the library. I hurried after her, pushing Keaton out of my way, but once I got through the heavy doors of the library a tidal wave of students pushed and shoved themselves along through the hallway, completely swallowing Camila in it.

A crush on who? Why would her mother treat a crush like a joke? Why was she running away from me? Did she really not trust me with this?... Or could there be some truth in what Kehlani had said? Crap, I needed to confront Camila about this and if it was the last thing I would do.


	14. Wake up

Lauren was standing on the back deck, leaning against the railing and taking a long drag from her cigarette. She stared of into the woods, enjoying the silence that had settled outside, while the laughter and the music that was coming from inside the house was barely audible to her. She pressed her dark leather jacket closer to her body, shielding herself from the cold.

The wind was getting worse, whipping her hair around her face in a dark halo. She took her last hit of the cigarette, before stubbing it out with the bottom of her boot and headed back inside the warmth of the house.

Some people were still standing around in circles, talking animatedly to one another while most of the others had already passed out somewhere. Lauren did not recognize any of the people around, but out of the corner of her eyes she could make out Dinah leaning over one of the sofas. She was drawing something on Normani's face with a Sharpie while Ally was standing next to her, scolding her, but most definitely not stopping it from happening.

The raven haired girl smiled to herself, making her way upstairs. She had no idea where she was going, only guided by some unexplained force.

She opened the first door to her right and entered the dimply lit room. To her surprise she saw Camila sitting on top of the bed in the middle of the room. Her back was resting against the headboard and her legs were outstretched and crossed. Apparently Camila had not even acknowledged her entrance yet, completely lost in the book she was reading.

Lauren smirked to herself and closed the door a little louder than was necessary, causing the Cuban girl to look up.

"Watchya doin?" Lauren asked curiously, smirking at the girl on the bed.

"Laur? What are you doing up here?" Camila asked, smiling at the other girl and placing the book on the nightstand.

"Was bored." Lauren answered with a shrug, as she climbing on top of the bed and sat down cross legged opposite the brown eyed girl.

"Who would've thought the day would come, when Ms Lauren Jauregui would ditch a party to chill with lil' ol' me." Camila chuckled, leaning back against the headboard.

"Whats that supposed to mean? I'd take hanging out with you over any party, any time, any day." Lauren answered truthfully. Camila looked down at her hands that rested in her lap, letting her hair fall like a curtain down the side of her face, not wanting Lauren to see the toothy smile growing on her face, nor the bright blush on her cheeks.

"So, why are you hiding up here?" Lauren tried again, looking around the dimply lit room. The brunette followed the other girls gaze, before their eyes finally met again.

"I'm not hiding! Actually if there were more food and fewer people, this could be the perfect party." Camila chuckled, pushing the strand of hair back behind her ear, barely able to hide the smile still playing on her lips.

Lauren chuckled at the girls antics, while Camila maintained her eye contact, her smile dropping to a deeper, intimate smirk.

"But now that you're here, its even more perfect." Camila disclosed to Lauren, who was unable to suppress the tingle that ran down her spine, when she watched Camila lick her bottom lip, bitting it, then letting it go.

"I have been thinking about you... a lot." Lauren suddenly confessed out of the blue, causing the other Cubans cheeks to flare bright red.

"Uuh, Lo? How much did you drink?" Camila asked, a frown now forming on her delicate features.

"I mean... about what you said at the library." Lauren confessed, staring down at her own fingers that began playing with the blanket they were sitting on. Camila awkwardly cleared her throat, before shifting slightly and bringing up her legs to curl her arms around them.

"About what?" Camila asked hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable with where their conversation was headed.

Lauren narrowed her eyes at the other girl. Her question obvious to both of them. A spark of liquid courage took over Lauren's instincts as she slowly crawled up the bed and towards the Cuban girl. Camila's eyes carefully followed every move the raven haired girl made up until the point where she felt Laurens warm fingers curl around her calves. The girls strong hands proceeded to pull her down and along the mattress, until her whole body was laying outstretched on the bed and then Lauren began straddling her waist.

"L-Laur?" was all Camila managed to breath out in a whisper, as she gazed into the green eyes of the girl on top of her.

"Hmm?" Lauren hummed innocently, as her hands were slowly tracing up Camilas sides. The brunettes chest began thumping faster than the beat of the music that was coming from downstairs, faster than a drum line, faster then she had ever felt it before and when Lauren leaned even closer Camila could feel her heart give an insuppressible jolt.

"What are you doing?" Camila tried again, fluster still there but overshadowed by the hitch in her voice. Her clawed hands digging into the blanket she was lying atop, knuckles white from restraining herself from reaching out, her body trembling visibly.

"What you don't have the guts to do." Lauren whispered back and she felt the brunettes heart go from a quick beat to a nerve racking drum roll.

"You're drunk." Camila helplessly tried again, her eyes staring into Laurens green ones, her pupils full-blown with desire, subconsciously daring the other girl to do something, anything.

"...And you think to much." Lauren countered, voice hoarse as she bit her lower lip, resting her forehead against Camila's. Both their faces already red from the ghost of excitement rousing within their proximity.

It'd been so long since Lauren been kissed by a girl. She wanted this, she wanted this more than anything and so did Camila, even though Lauren could feel the inner turmoil in the girl under her. Lauren slowly lowered herself on top of the girl, until their bodies were flushed together. She rested her arms next to the brunettes head, her dark hair falling around their faces like a curtain, hiding them from the world surrounding them.

"You're not thinking clear..." Camila managed to mumble out again, trying with every fiber of her body not to take advantage of the drunk girl making advances on her, the girl she wanted more than anything else.

"My mind's never been clearer." Lauren rasped, slowly running her nose along Camila's jaw line, breathing heavily into the brunettes left ear.

Camila had a harder time resisting the girl on top of her, balling her hands into fists and tightly pressing her eyes close and biting her lower lip, until the green eyed beauty breathed out in a hot whisper: "I want you Camila."

From that moment on Camila's mind went straight to the gutter. With no self control left, she reached up and tangled her hands in Laurens hair, lurching herself forward, her mind exploding in a colorful burst when her lips collided with Laurens.

Nothing had ever felt this right. Lauren was glad they were laying atop a bed because she was sure the way her legs were tingling, nothing else would be able to hold her upright at the moment.

Their kiss was desperate, passionate, filled with unfulfilled desires and a deep, dark longing. Laurens hand wrapped softly around the brunettes face, caressing her cheekbones when they finally broke the lip-lock, mouth brushing, Lauren touched Camila's trembling lip with her thumb.

Lungs burning, hearts near exploding and minds running blank, Camilas face mirrored Laurens shit-eating grin. "I really hope you weren't about to confess that someone else is your crush, cuz that would make this situation real awkward." Lauren chuckled, running her thumb along Camilas lips.

Camila rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh, pushing a dark strand of hair that was tickling her face behind Laurens ear, before pulling her back down and capturing Laurens lips in another passionate kiss. 

After another moment Lauren pulled back, narrowing her eyes playfully at Camila, wanting to hear her say the words.

"Your friend's here." Camila whispered against her lips, causing Lauren to frown and lean back even further to get a better look at the brunette beneath her.

"What?"

"Lauren... Wake up."

A pillow smacked me square in the face, causing me to gasp in surprise as I opened my eyes in threat to find Taylor smirking down at me. 

I blinked at the brightness of the room, not understanding what was going on, I sat up and ran a hand through my messy dark hair. "Wh-What?"

"Jesus Lo. And here I thought you and Keaton were fighting. Guess I was wrong, huh." Taylor smirked down at me, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

With no clue about what was going on, I slowly assessed the room, coming to the realization that I wasn't at anyones party, but at home in my own living-room. I could still feel the adrenalin of my dream running through my veins, the images from seconds ago still swimming in front of my eyes and Camila's face right in front of mine, clear as day. I shook my head, rubbing my eyes in horror. 

I did not just have a wet dream of my best friend. I groaned, rubbing my eyes in hopes of getting the images out of the back of my eyelids. 

"Ralph! The hell you doin?" 

"She's having a wet dream of her boyfriend." Taylor drawled out suggestively.

I could feel my face burning a bright crimson and quickly took the pillow Taylor had woken me up with and threw it back at her, aiming for my sisters dumb, smirking face.

"No I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't. I bet you just moaned at the pretty unicorns you were dreaming of, huh?" Taylor answered sarcastically, easily catching the pillow with that damn knowing smile still on her lips.

"Lauser you're the worst liar in history... . But lucky for you we don't have time for this, get you ass ready cuz tonight's girls night." Dinah said, sinning the last part, before yanking my blanket away and pushing me towards the bathroom.

Oh god. Dinah was gonna tell the rest of the girls, wasn't she, ugh! I quickly brushed my hair and teeth and pulled on a clean black shirt with some fresh jeans before Dinah pushed me back to the car, while loudly singing Beyoncé Boss, -her before party routine. 

I couldn't believe that these god damn feelings were getting this out of hand. My mind had been racing over the conversation that Camila and I had shared in the library all Thursday and Friday. That was obviously the only reason for this dream. I was obviously just concerned for Camila. 

I just really wanted to know who Camila's crush is. I wanted to know so bad that she was literally invading my dreams. But What if there was some truth to my dream? What if it was true? What if Camila was crushing on me? Would it change anything? It would change everything!

I let out a long groan. This was only wishful thinking, Camila would never fall for someone like me and even if she did, I wasn't sure if I could go there again. What would my mother say if she would find out? What if Camila would disappear on my like Alexa had.

We were the first one's to arrive at Ally's place. The door was open and we just walked inside, finding Ally in the kitchen cooking something. 

Normani quickly turned up the music and gathered the alcohol from the car while I followed Dinahs lead and sat down at the table.

"Ally, what are you doing?" 

"I'm making omelets without the egg yolks to cut down on cholesterol, but then I'm left with all these yolks that I don't want to throw away... so I'm giving them to the homeless." Ally said, smiling when Dinah made a face.

"Fine, give them to the homeless. They'll have heart attacks, then they wont need homes. Ally your heart is in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain's at."

"She just had a little to much tequila." Troy said, swaggering into the kitchen and hugging his girlfriend from behind.

"Ow Hell naw! What are you doin here? Its girls night!" Dinah said, getting up, her eyes flickering playfully between Ally and Troy. 

"Someones gotta bring the yolks to the homeless." Troy snickered, while pecking Allys neck.

"I definitely ain't gonna be drinking that tequila that they've been drinking!" Normani said walking back inside, wiggling her index finger at the two lovebirds. 

"Where are the others" I asked subtly, wondering if Camila would be here tonight.

"I don't know. Shawn is picking up Camila and Kehlani and Ashley should arrive any minute... I hope."

"Shawn?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"Yea, he counts as a girl." Normani answered nonchalantly, while pulling Dinah up to booty pop to Beyoncé. 

I watched them with a smile on my face, thinking about how to best approach Camila about the conversation back in the library.


	15. Pizza, Dandelions and a Kiss?

Camila's POV

The 6 girls along with Troy were huddled around a bonfire, enjoying the rest of what looked like pizza as Shane and I were making our way into the backyard. 

"Guys, where have you been? We were about to send out a search party for the two of you." Ally yelled excitedly once she spotted us.

"We're sorry, Ally." I said, smiling at her apologetically. I couldn't help but let my eyes drift over the empty pizza boxes and in response my stomach let out a low grumble. If there was no more pizza left, I would legitimately cry. 

"Did you guys get lost or something?"

"No, we kinda just didn't realize how late it was." Shawn explained, his gaze also lingering on the empty pizza boxes, as he pulled me along to get a better look at them.

"So, what did the two of you get up to?" Ashley asked curiously, tilting her head to the side and raising a suggestive eyebrow.

I was determined to ignore her question and silently followed Shawn to the boxes that were littered around the bonfire. Shawn on the other hand didn't seemed to have picked up on the girls insinuation or had decided to just ignore it altogether. He shrugged his shoulders in response. "We were just jamming a bit."

Ashley scoffed, taking a sip from her beer before muttering under her breath. "I'm sure you were."

"Hey. Did you guys save us some of that?" I asked irritatedly, nodding my head into the direction of the empty boxes. 

"Huh? What?" Dinah asked, as her cheeks puffed out like a squirrels, while quickly making space for the last piece she was still holding in her hand, apparently afraid that I would steal it from her. 

"You didn't save me some..?" I asked pouting, giving her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Ooopsi! Sorry Chanch." Dinah said with a mouth full of pizza, while I stared sadly into another empty pizza box that Shawn had just opened. 

"We can order some more." Ally suggested and I could tell that she was feeling extremely upset that there was nothing left for us. I shrugged my shoulders and waved her off, not wanting her to feel bad. 

I resigned myself to the fate of only eating S'mores and chips for the rest of the evening, but in all honesty I could eat a hippo at the moment. 

"I got you." I heard Lauren's raspy voice say behind me and turned, only to watch her retrieve a plate with 3 whole slices of pizza behind her back. I stared into her beautiful emerald orbs and I swear I never loved the girl more than I did in that moment.

Actually hold that thought, she just winked at me. If I hadn't been so hungry I would probably be obsessing over that little fact, but at the moment my first priority was the pizza the raven haired girl was holding out for me, so I lovingly gazed at it.

"Gee, Camz. I think I forgot how much you actually love pizza." Lauren snickered and I quickly took the plate from her.

"Oh my god, I swear I could kiss you right now, Lo." I said, without thinking and began digging into the pizza. If I hadn't been so occupied with the deliciousness in front of me, I probably had seen that Lauren's face had transformed into a fiery bright crimson.

"Oh my god! This is so damn good!" I moaned loudly, looking at Shawn who was staring at the pizza slice in my hand wide eyed. Lauren cleared her throat awkwardly next to me and began shuffling, repositioning herself on the chair before looking apologetically at Shawn.

"Uuh, sorry Shawn. I kinda... I didn't... ."

Shawn swiftly interrupted her with a flick of his wrist. "Nah, don't worry about it. Its fine. Did you see the girls noodle arms? She needs it more than I do." He said, grabbing a bag of Chips.

"Don't worry, Lo. He already ate. His Mami made him Mac and Cheese before I arrived." I said smugly in between bites, causing Shawn to playfully roll his eyes at me. 

"Thats not a real meal though." Normani interjected.

"See." Shawn grinned, pointing with his index finger in Normani's direction. 

"Of course it is." Ashley argued.

"It doesn't matter, Camila is just selfish! She doesn't even consider feeding the poor." Shawn said sticking his bottom lip out. 

"I hope you don't mean yourself." Kehlani said laughing.

"Its okay, K. It doesn't matter what Shawn thinks... He is like a piece of furniture who has no feelings or opinions!"

Shawn only smiled, making his way towards me, before bringing his arms around my neck and pulling me into a headlock, tousling my hair. "Nonsense, my little hat-rack."

"Shawn! Stop!" I laughed, trying to push him away, which turned out to be almost impossible from the angle he was holding me. After he was sure my hair was a complete mess he pulled away smirking.

"That was rude!"

"You're rude."

I squinted my eyes at him, rearranging my hair. He only stuck out his tongue at me and I continued to chew open mouth so he could see the amazing pizza he would never get to eat, that was until I realized that Lauren was witnessing all this and quickly stopped. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The sky had turned a beautiful shade of orange and red, as the sun was beginning to set. After I had washed my hands I went back outside. I sat down in the grass, leaning my back against Dinah, who was talking to Lauren about their upcoming Softball game. 

Not really having any clues about the sport even though I went to all of Dinah's games I drowned them out. I plugged some dandelions and began putting my creative skills to good use. 

I was tying the last knot of my makeshift crown of dandelions, before I got up and held it out with both of my hands for Lauren to take. "My Lady, please accept this token of my affection." I said with a grand voice. 

"What? You would rather give that crown to Lauren then me?" Dinah asked indignantly, dramatically holding her hand over her heart.

"Well, you didn't save me from starvation, did ya?" I said accusingly, turning all my attention back to Lauren, bowing my head. "My Lady?"

Lauren smirked, doing curtsy and allowing me to place the crown on top of her head.

"How do I look?" She asked with a British accent and did a little twirl to let me see it from all sides.

"Dumb." Dinah responded, before I could even open my mouth. The raven haired girl stared at her with her bottom lip sticking out and honestly she had never looked cuter.

"Do you have any idea how much it hurts when you say stuff like that?"

"Nope. After I'm dead, drop me a note." Dinah stated, turning on her heels and flipping her hair in an unnaturally dramatic fashion, grinning cheekily, before walking away.

"Be nice! I know where you keep your Beyoncé CD's." I yelled after her, but she only flicked me off. 

"So, what now?" 

"Now? Now we are to be wed, duh!" I exclaimed, holding out my hand for the other girl to take. 

Lauren on the other hand looked a little taken a back, but then crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Doesn't this make you the dude in this relationship?"

"I guess... ." I shrugged, smirking at her.

"Cute. A dude with lots of Bows and dresses... thats real manly." Lauren said nodding her head in appreciation, as her eyes roamed not so subtly over my body. 

"Hey! If you ain't trying to wife me, you need to get off my line."

"You're the one that asked to marry me... ."

"Don't you get sassy with me now." I breathed out dramatically. "Makes me wonder why I ever married you."

"I don't feel the love here... ." Lauren giggled, gesturing with her hand between us. 

„Hey you two. Get in here, Dinah is making us play truth or dare." Shawn yelled, sounding slightly agitated.

I rolled my eyes scoffing at Lauren, who smirked and brought an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into her side, as we made our way inside.

"We're in the living room." Dinah yelled and once we were inside she gestured for us to sit down. 

"Camz asked for my hand in marriage." Lauren bragged, once she sat down next to Dinah.

"What?" Dinah asked, turning towards me, "How could you do this to me?"

"Don't worry! You can still be my side chick." I suggested, gaining death glares from both of the girls. 

"I see how it is." Dinah said dramatically, pretending to be upset.

I pouted and launched myself at Dinah, swallowing her upper body in a koala hug, which Dinah only reluctantly returned. 

Lauren crossed her arms defiantly, while Shawn opposite her 'Awwed' at us. Suddenly two new pairs of arms engulfed us and it took me a moment to realize that it was Ally who had also pulled Troy along into the hug.

"What the hell are y'all doing?" Normani asked, entering the living room, sounding perturbed. 

"We're having a group hug." Ally said, turning to smile at the other girl.

"Well, knock it off. The neighbors will get the wrong idea." Normani said, sitting herself down on the empty spot next to Lauren.

Laughing we all sat down in a circle around the empty wine bottle and since Dinah had chosen the game she was up first.

The glass bottle clinked against the wooden floor, before the head of it pointed at Ashley.

"Truth or Dare?" Dinah smirked.

"Truth." Ashley said, shrugging her shoulders and taking a sip from her beer.

"Who was your first kiss?" 

"Ugh! Really? Dinah, you know damn well who it was." She answered rolling her eyes annoyed. "Austin... ."

"Oh my god, its true!" Normani giggling at her and Ashley just flicked her off, before she spun the bottle and of course it landed on me.

"Truth." I said, going with the saver option.

"Are you a top or a bottom?" she asked, smirking while her eyes flickered over to Shawn.

"What the hell does that mean, if I'm a top or a bottom?" I asked confused as everyone around me began to giggle.

"You cant ask her that! She is way to innocent." Ally scolded, slapping Ashley on the arm and leaving me even more confused.

"You know what it means?" Dinah and Normani asked in unison, both looking shocked at the fact that the girl knew what it meant.

Ally grew completely red in the face, before crossing her arms in front of her chest defensively. "I know things... ." 

"Top means you're the dominant one, bottom is the submissive one... So what are you?" Ashley asked again, ignoring the rest of the girls.

"Gee, the girl hadn't even had her first kiss yet, leave her be." Normani defended me, once she saw my face grow bright red. I knew playing this game would never end well. "Just spin the bottle, Mila."

I spun the bottle and it landed on Ally. 

"Truth"

"Have you ever skinny dipped?" 

"No." she answered and spun the bottle again.

"Dare." Troy said immediately, smirking at her. 

"I dare you to kiss me." Ally said smirking and he immediately leaned in, while the rest of us rolled our eyes.

"Okay, Okay... can we get back to the game now?" Shawn said, looking more uncomfortable then the rest of us.

"Fine." Troy laughed, spinning the bottle which to all our dismays ended up on Ashley again. "Lets make this a little more interesting. Truth or Dare."

"Truth" she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"Why did Mk really break up with you?"

"Ugh! You know how fragile men's egos are... one little mistake like screaming out the wrong name and they go all to pieces." She said before grabbing the bottle out of his hands and spinning it again.

This time the bottle landed on Normani and she already threated Ashley's question.

"Truth."

"Whats one things that really bugs you about Dinah?"

Dinah's eyes immediately grew wide as she stared at the other girl.

"Well, there really is only one thing that bugs me." Normani said, uncomfortably scratching her neck and Dinah's mouth dropped open.

"Every time you're at my place, you always make the toilet seat bang. Like there are only women using that toilet, it never has to move. Why do you always make it bang?" 

"Well, excuse me. Why don't you get me a litterbox to keep next to the bed?" Dinah asked sarcastically. 

The game went on for a while, getting naughtier and inappropriate the more it ended up on Ashley.

"Truth." Dinah said, already threatening Ashley's question.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Yep." Dinah said, popping the p, before reaching out for the bottle again. 

"Wait. What?" I asked, looking at Normani, who didn't look as surprised as I had felt. "Who?"

"That Camila, is a secret."

"When?" I kept on asking, not believing my own ears. How could my best friend kiss another girl without telling me about it?

"I need to keep a little mystery, Chancho." she chuckled and only then I noticed that the bottle had ended up on Lauren. 

"Dare." I heard Lauren say and by the shrewd look on her face, I guessed she didn't want to risk the truth option with the current crowd.

"I dare you to, hmm ." Dinah thought for a moment and then her eyes lit up. "I dare you to give Mila her first kiss."

I was sure I had misheard that. She surely hadn't just said what I thought she had. 

"Lauren?" Dinah's voice snapped Lauren out of her reverie, I guess she had been as shocked as me.

"What?" 

"I dare you to kiss Mila."

"Like... on the lips?" Lauren asked in an almost whisper, causing everyone apart from myself to giggle. 

"Well, isn't that were people usually kiss each other?" Dinah asked sarcastically.

"O-okay... ." Lauren said, gulping visibly. "You're okay with this Camz?"

Still to caught up with the fact that Lauren was actually willing to kiss me, my brain felt like it was experiencing a blue screen of death. I could feel my stomach flutter at the mere thought of having her lips pressed against mine. I nodded dumbly and watched as Lauren crawled across the floor towards me.

I didn't move, or breath, I just watched wide eyed as Lauren was getting closer to me and once I could feel her breath against my face, I realized what was actually about to happen and panicked, quickly pulling away. 

"Ah, wait." I said, looking around and running a hand through my hair. "Hold up." I pulled the hair tie from my wrist and began tying up my hair.

"Jesus Mila. You're not about to launch a rocket... just kiss the girl." Ashley scoffed from somewhere, but with the blood rushing in my ears I barely heard her. 

"Ready?" Lauren asked again, getting close and I nodded, feeling extremely vulnerable all of the sudden. This was going to be my first kiss with Lauren! Actually this was going to be my first kiss period! Did I really want it to go down like this? It being part of a dare?

Just mere millisecond before Lauren's lips could brush mine, it took all of my willpower to pull away from her. I could feel panic taking over my body as I jumped up on both of my feet.

"I don't want to play this game anymore." I almost yelled, just before I bolted out of the room.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I was sitting on the bench, gazing up at the moon, while evaluating my life choices. This was my one and only chance to ever kiss Lauren and I had screwed it up. God I was so dumb! 

"Mila?"

I pressed my eyes close, not really wanting to talk to anybody, but Normani took a seat next to me, bumping her shoulder with mine.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." I breathed out, leaning my head on the other girls shoulder.

"Okay. Well, then I will do the talking." 

"I've been wondering whats been going on with you for a while, but ever since we went to Harry's party something feels different." Normani explained, reaching out for my hand. "You seem upset somehow and I hoped that you would talk about it once you were ready..." 

She fiddled with my hands, releasing a long breath. "And I know you talk more to Dinah lately and yes, that is partly my fault... ." 

"No Mani. I mean yes, I talk more to Dinah lately, but there is just so much going on. I didn't mean for you to feel left out."

Normani nodded, encouraging me to go on. "I-I told Dinah about this.. uhm thing. Everything is kind of about it..."

"Oookay." she drawled out the word and I knew that she would figure it out sooner or later anyway. I took a deep breath and turned slightly towards her, looking into her dark brown eyes. 

"I'm sorry for leaving you out. You're as much a part of my life as Dinah is and you know Mani, you're right. Ever since that party something has been different." I explained, releasing a long breath, bracing myself for what I was about to confess to her. 

"But there is something that you need to know first." I already felt the tight knot form inside my stomach, as I stared back at the concerned brown eyes opposite me. 

"I... I-I like girls, as in I want to be with them." I confessed and as soon as I saw Normani's eyes grow wide I felt like I had made a mistake. 

"How could you do this to me?" Normani suddenly asked, with furrowed brows.

"I ... I ... ."

Suddenly Normani broke out in laughter, slapping her knee, leaving me even more confused.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"You said it like it was news... ." The girl kept laughing, wiping at her eyes. "Mila, you fell down the gay tree and hit every branch on your way down."

I slapped her arm before shaking my head at her. "I really thought you hate me there for a second."

"I could never. I knew ever since you couldn't keep your eyes from Ms. McVeys cleavage." Normani chuckled, before pulling me into her side. 

"Oh god, you saw that too?" I asked, burring my face inside my hands in embarrassment.

"Honey, everyone saw that." Normani continued to laugh. "So, but what got you so depressed now?"

I pulled away from her again, kicking the grass slightly. "After the party I told my Mom, but I'm not sure how she took the news. After I said it she pretended like it had never happened... and ever since she is been a little more distant, but then she just acts like I had never said anything, like she could make it go away like that. I would have preferred her to scream or yell, but not this."

"Come here." the raven haired girl said, bringing me back into her side and stroking my hair. "Just give her a little time. Look how long it took for you to realize and accept it. Your Mom knows how long now? A couple days? Your mom loves you so much and she will come around eventually."

"It just feels like I cant talk to her anymore." 

"She'll come around and in the mean time you can always talk to us." 

"But its just so aggravating you know. Its like your sitting in a train and you're not sure whether or not it is moving and its making you feel all weird inside." 

All of the sudden I could hear footsteps behind us and we both turned to see Lauren awkwardly making her way towards us.

"Uhm, knock, knock?" Lauren asked uncomfortably and Normani bursted out laughing again.

"I thought only white people do that." 

"I-I... I don't know... What do you want me to say? I kinda panicked, okay. Camz can I talk to you?"

I gulped. Oh shit I had already forgotten that I basically bolted out of the room because Lauren was about to kiss me. I bet she thought I did it because of different reason. Ugh! I really wanted to slap myself.

Normani looked at me and I nodded, but before she left she gave Laurens arm a squeeze and then made her way back inside the house. 

"Hey!"

"Hey." I said, cringing at myself. Ugh why is it that I'm the Chandler of this friend group. I padded the seat next to me and Lauren sat down, quickly retrieving a cigarette from her jacket pocket. She put the cigarette in her mouth and lit it. 

"I cant believe you sung for Shawn." Lauren said out of the blue, blowing out the smoke into the air.

"What?"

"He told us when you guys arrived, remember? The Camila I knew would not even hum to a song when someone was around." Lauren explained with a smile.

"Oh." I said, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly. "I still kinda don't. And I didn't sing for him, I sang with him." 

"If that makes you feel better." Lauren laughed. "Will you ever sing for me?"

"Probably not." I chuckled and Lauren made a sad face. 

"Maybe one day." I suggested and Lauren nodded her head, taking another drag of her cigarette. I watched as her lips curled around the smoke, feeling a shiver run down my spine.

"I'm sorry about earlier." I said, shifting uncomfortably on the bench, but I needed to get it out.

"Its alright. I mean it would have been your first kiss after all. I figured you would rather have that with someone special." Lauren said shrugging her shoulders, but I could tell that something was off. 

Lauren you are my special person, I wanted to yell at her, but instead I gulped, looking away. I stayed silent for the longest time, while Lauren was staring off into the distance. After a while I watched her, mesmerized by the way the smoke left her body, until she caught me staring at her lips.

I chuckle awkwardly immediately going red in the face. "Do you want one?" Lauren asked, holding out the package of cigarettes, silently offering me one. 

"I'd rather share yours." I stated awkwardly and Lauren chuckled, holding it out for me to take.

I took it and stared at it for a moment, rolling it slightly between my fingers. I realized that I had no clue about what to do with it, so I stared back at Lauren who had both eyebrows raised at me in expectancy. 

"W-What do I do now?"

Lauren chuckled again, shaking her head slightly at me. "Just you know... suck on it and inhale."

That seemed easy enough, so I took a big hit, instantly feeling the smoke fill my mouth. I started coughing violently, while Lauren was cracking up next to me. "Oh my god, I...I think I'm... dying." I breathed out in between coughs.

"You asked for it." Lauren said, as tears of laughter began rolling down her cheeks.

"How can you do this to yourself?" I asked, once my coughs had subsided.

„You get used to it. You just have to learn to do it right."

"But I did exactly what you told me to do." I defended but Lauren only chuckled again. 

"Obviously." She answered pointing at me. "Here, let me try this."

Lauren turned to her side to fully face me and began pulling my arms towards her, until we were inches away from one another. 

"Just inhale it, okay." Lauren explained, taking a deep drag from the smoke and then her hand traveled up my side and towards my neck. She placed her hand on the back of my head, tugging me closer, and the closer Lauren got, the harder my heart began to beat. When she stopped, we were only a couple of inches away. We were so close that I could see the golden specks in her eyes and I swear my heart felt like it was about to give out. 

Unable to concentrate, I hesitated. I had completely forgotten Laurens instructions on inhaling the smoke and had stopped breathing altogether. After a moment Lauren leaned back chuckling again, shaking her head at me.

"You were supposed to inhale, not to hold your breath, Camz."

"Um, I-I." I stuttered out like a complete idiot. Her intoxicating smell high jacket my thoughts making me think unreasonably. I had this strong desire to pull her in and kiss her, it dared me to. "Do it again." I said in a honey and wine whisper and Lauren stared at me uncertain for a second. She obviously hadn't expected that. She shrugged her shoulders, taking another hit and leaned in. 

Lauren exhaled and this time I inhaled and once Lauren tried to pull away, I kept her close, reaching out for the collar of her jacket. "C-Camz?" Lauren stammered out this time.

There was a moment of suspended animation where we both just gazed into each others eyes and I hoped that she didn't notice the way my heart began to soar. 

I watched as her eyes carefully began studying my face, before they flicker to my lips and all I want to know was, what her red lips felt like against mine. 

"I dare you to." 

Her eyes flickered back to mine and I realized how screwed I really was. I didn't know what the hell I was thinking but then I felt Laurens hand cup my face and my body began shaking violently, as she pressed her lips against mine. 

A rush of exitment shot down my spineI and fireworks went of behind my closed lids. I let out an involuntary moan of pleasure, wrapping my arms around Laurens neck and bringing her impossibly closer.

Lauren was kissing me! How was this even real? My heart was beating so hard that I was sure that she could feel it aswell. I became overwhelmed with a wave of tingles that began running through me, making me weak in the knees.

Lauren was keeping the kiss slow and sweet, knowing that this was my first one. It was everything people write about and so much more. Lauren tasted like coming home after a long day in school, like the sun coming up after days of rain. But her slow pace was close to maddening and I clumsily tried taking the lead, opening my mouth a little wider for her, causing her to chuckle against my lips. In response her teeth pulled my bottom lip into her mouth and I wondered if this was what space tastes like, hot and vast and amazing.

After a moment Lauren pulled back, her fingers playing with the hem of my shirt, as I needed another second to process what had just happened. I opened my eyes to see that shade of green that could knock the air out of even the blindest of people.

"I cant believe that just happened." I panted, resting my forehead against Laurens. 

From that moment everything changed. Lauren and I had kissed. What did that mean? Was Lauren actually interested in me? Where would we go from here?

Lauren seemed to be speechless, she just stared at me like she couldn't believe that I existed and for a moment I began to panic, but then she pulled me in for another quick kiss and I melted right into her arms. 

"This isn't supposed to feel this right." I heard Lauren mumble against my lips and leaned back to get a better look at her. Her red lipstick was smudged at the edges of her mouth from the kissing and I could only imagine what my own face must look like. 

"What do you mean?" I asked tentatively. 

"Not important." she chuckled, pecking my lips once more, before staring back into my eyes.

"Dinah is going to have a field day when she finds out this happened." I began chuckling. 

Suddenly Lauren pulled away, holding me at an arms length. "No, Camz. Listen." She said, forcing me to look into her eyes. "You cant tell anybody about this!" 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next updates probably wont be as regular, since literally no one seems to be reading this anyway.


	16. Fool for love

**Camila's POV**

"Dinah is going to have a field day when she finds out this happened." I began chuckling.

Suddenly Lauren pulled away, holding me at an arms length. "Listen." She said, forcing me to look into her eyes. "You cant tell anybody about this!"

I feel suffocated. Suffocated by the green eyes pleadingly staring into mine, by the words that Lauren had just uttered and the implications of the statement that was hanging in the air.

A lump form inside my throat as I stared at the girl in front of me wide eyed. "W-what? W-why? I don't ... ." I manged to stutter out, before I felt my voice breaking along with my heart.

"Shit!" Lauren cursed at herself, getting up from the bench and began pacing back and fourth. "God! I'm such an idiot! Goddammit Lauren! You have a brain, right? Why not use it once in a while... God, what did I do? I'm so dumb!" I heard Lauren mumble to herself, as she never stopped her pacing, running a frantic hand through her dark, messy hair.

My body was shaking and I feared that I had just made the biggest mistake in my life, why had I let this happen?

"Lo, I-I don't understand." I mumbled painfully, shaking my head in confusion.

In a blink of an eye, the raven haired girl had hurried back to my side and let herself drop down on her knees. "Camila, you have to promise me, that you wont tell anybody about this, not even Dinah."

I watched as her eyes slowly began watering with tears. I wracked my brain, trying to come up with a reply, but I only came up blank. Lauren continued to pleadingly stare at me, tightly holding my wrists in her hands, begging for me to promise her something that I wasn't sure I could. What did it mean? Why had she kissed me if she regretted it so much now? Had it even meant anything at all?

I only had seen Lauren crying twice. The first time was at the airport and the second time was right now. I hated having to look at her right now, her face was only showing regret. -Regret of kissing me, and it took everything in myself to not to break down into tears myself. I opened my mouth again to respond, but I still came up empty.

Lauren finally seemed to understand that I was never going to give her that promise and quickly pushed herself back on to her feet and resumed her pacing. This time it was more frantic though. Her whole body had began to shake and she was now openly crying.

"I'm such an idiot, god... Why... Why me? I ... fuuuuck! What am I going to do... shit." Lauren kept sobbing, continuously running her hand through her hair. I could feel that she was having a slight panic attack, when she suddenly began to hyperventilate.

The next thing I knew I was next to her, holding her still, so she would look at me. "Lauren, breath okay!" I said trying to comfort her, surprising myself at how calm I actually sounded, since I was far from it.

"Please, Camila! Please, I beg you, please don't tell anybody. I cant do... ."

"Why did you kiss me if you don't... ." I tried asking, but then my voice broke again and I was forced to take in another deep breath, desperately trying to find my courage. I could feel each word slowly cutting me back open inside, but I needed to ask, I needed to know. "... If you don't like me like that."

I felt Laurens grip on my arm loosen and a second later she dropped to the ground, sobbing into her hands. "I'm so sorry Camz!"

Ignoring my own shattered heart, I knelt down in front of her and engulfed her in a hug. She continued to sob into my neck, while I was slowly running my hand up and down her back. We were sitting like this for quiet some time. I could already feel my joints ache from the position I was kneeling in and judging by the way Lauren kept shifting she must feel the same way.

"I'm sorry, Camz. I shouldn't have done that... ." Lauren began to sniff, entangling herself from my hold.

"I just don't understand Lauren. Why did you kiss me? I-I thought that... I thought that you might actually, you know, that you... ." I rambled on, not sure how to best articulate myself.

Lauren took a hold of my hands again, looking at me still teary eyed. "... because ever since I've been back, I wanted nothing more than to know what its like to kiss you." The green eyed beauty confessed, looking down at our now intertwined hands.

A bright smile spread across my face at her confession, knowing that Lauren did feel the same way. I reached up and cupped her cheeks, brushing my thumb over her red lips, before I began to lean back in.

Lauren immediately turned her face away from mine. "Don't." She rushed out in a whisper and almost instantly I could feel that familiar stinging in my chest again.

Awkwardly I cleared my throat, scratching the back of my neck. "W-whats wrong, Lo? I really want to kiss you too." I admitted, feeling more vulnerable then I have ever felt before. "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"

"No, Camz. It's more complicated then that." Lauren almost spat, before turning away from me.

"How is it complicated, Lo? I want to be with you and you... well... . Do you want to be with me?" I asked a little uncertain, holding my breath, afraid what Lauren was about to reveal.

"It doesn't matter what I want or what I feel, Camz. I just cant." Lauren yelled this time, throwing her arms up in the air in exasperation.

"Of course it does Lo. It is all that matters." I countered equally exasperated.

"I have been through this before okay... I know how this whole thing will end." Lauren spat at me, looking at me with hurt and angry eyes, like I was the whole reason for her suffering. "I'm not doing this again... I just cant."

I took a step back, swallowing back the lump in my throat, but this time I wasn't strong enough to keep the tears at bay. I shook my head in confusion. "With whom?"

Lauren shook her head, blinking away the tears that were gathering inside her eyes again.

"With Alexa. She... she uhm was a girl that I- I..." Lauren explained, slightly leaning forward so she could whisper the rest of her sentence. "That I liked. She-she kissed me and told me that she l-loved me and that I was the only person she wanted to be with and the next day... I never saw her again."

"I would never do this to you Lauren! You know that." I tried to reason, but she only shook her head, like she had already gone over every possible scenario in her head.

"But what if? I cant lose you too, Camz. I lost you before and I'm not ready to go through that again."

"You won't!"

"You don't know tha... ."

"Lauren, you cant make me pay for somebody else's sins. I'm not going to just disappear on you." I tried to explain, since Lauren seemed like she had already made up her mind on the whole thing. I took a step forward into Lauren's personal space and was relieved that she wasn't fleeing from me, but just carefully watched me with sad eyes. "Lo, I-I want to be with you. It's always been you."

Her sad green eyes were locked onto my own as if they were capable of boring into my soul. "I cant. I'm sorry Camz." Lauren almost whispered, shaking her head. She pulled away and apparently had decided to just make her way back into the house.

My heart was breaking for the second time tonight, but I couldn't just let the outcome of our conversation stay like this, so I took in another deep breath.

"Then why did you kiss me? What did you think was going to happen after? That I would just forget about it?" I asked, surprising myself a little at how angry that came out.

"I didn't think okay... I just... ." Lauren quickly tried to defend herself, but I quickly cut her off, not wanting to hear more of that 'I cant' bullshit.

"Well, yea. Obviously you didn't. Tell me one thing Lo. Do you like me? ... Like that?"

Lauren turned back towards me, running her hand through her hair, before staring off into space. She clenched her jaw before she answered bitterly; "Yes."

"Did you ever think about us? Being in a relationship?" I asked, bravely taking another step towards her.

"I don't see how... ." Lauren quickly tried to interject, shaking her head in annoyance.

"Just answer the damn question, Lo."

Lauren licked her lips and rolled her eyes before she looked at her feet, nodding her head in confirmation.

"Then why are you standing in the way of this being something real? Lauren, I... "

"Mother will never approve!" Lauren swiftly breathed out, like it was a moment of courage and then shook her head again, wiping at her eyes.

"Lauren?" I asked, breaking the deafening silence that had lingered for a moment. "Did-did you know that I liked you when you asked me, who my crush is that day in the library?"

Lauren shrugged her shoulders, a little confused at the conversation shift. "I wasn't interiorly sure. Why are you asking?"

"What did you expect to happen, once I would have confessed that I liked you."

"I don't know.. I didn't think... I was wondering, and that if it had been true that... " Lauren said, thinking for a moment before she looked away, blushing. "Maybe that... I don't know, its stupid really."

"No. Tell me. What did you think was going to happen?"

"No, Camz. Its stupid. Its really stupid." Lauren said shacking her head again. "Its not like you would ever agree to it anyway."

"Agree to what?" I asked slightly confused.

Lauren released a long breath, before pinching the bridge of her nose. "Well, I thought that you know, maybe that once I knew and you knew that I ... Well that we could... ." She trailed off, shaking her head once more before taking in a long breath, evaluating the rest of her answer. "That we could do it in secret."

I quired an eyebrow at her a little confused. "Do it in secret?"

"I know, like I said its stupid and it was a du... ."

"Explain."

Lauren stopped her rambling for a moment to just stare at me. "You know that we could date in secret without anybody knowing... but I know its stupid and I'm sorry for even... ."

"So it would just be the two of us? Dating without telling anybody? I'm totally okay with that." I answered, feeling the smile stretch on my face again.

"... no-not exactly." Lauren whispered, not catching my gaze.

I stayed silent, staring at Lauren, waiting for her to explain herself and after another moment of silence she cleared her throat. "I would still be dating Keaton, but really I would be dating you. We just wouldn't tell anybody."

"Ookay." I drawled out, thinking over my answer. "So we tell Keaton? But really, I don't think that he.. ."

"No! We tell no one! Keaton would only be my 'pretend relationship'. So people wont get any ideas."

Confused my eyebrows furrowed, when suddenly I understood what Lauren was proposing.

"So, you would be cheating on him... with me?" I asked, clearly uncomfortable with that thought, but Lauren only nodded her head in confirmation.

"I don't think that I can do that, Lo." I said, shaking my head slightly. "You have to decided. Its either Keaton or ... "

"Don't make me chose, Camz! It's either this or nothing."

I was left baffled. How could Lauren even think of proposing something like this?

"Do you even like him?" I scoffed, getting slightly angry at Lauren now.

"Thats not important. "

Angrily I crossed my arms in front of my chest. I couldn't understand why Lauren just couldn't be honest with herself. "What are you so afraid of? I promise you that this will be different! I wont just leave you."

"I'm not leaving Keaton, either we do it my way or we ... ."

"Lo, we can have a secret relationship. Really, anything you want, but I'm not comfortable dating you in secret while somebody else is also dating you, rubbing it constantly in my face that they can show you off but I cant." I tried to explain a little more calm this time but Lauren wasn't having any of it.

"Its the only way, Camz."

"Maybe for you, but not for me. Why cant you just... ."

"I just cant okay! My mother will find out. Don't you think she will ask questions? But with Keaton in the picture everything is different, she wont expect it."

"Your paranoid, Lauren."

"It'll only be until I start college, Camz. At least then I will have moved out and she cant throw me out on the street." Lauren answered sadly.

"Clara would never do that... ."

"Yes she would! You don't even know her anymore. She isn't the same woman." Lauren explained a little more angry again.

"Maybe so, but I know that Mike would never allow it."

"Look Camz, I'm not arguing about this with you. All my life I have been waisting my thoughts on how to do this shit... I wont change my mind now."

"Mila, Lauren? The heck are you still doing out there? Get in here, Ashley is making us watch 'the room' and I sure as hell not watching that movie alone with her." We heard Kehlani yell.

"We're coming." I yelled back angrily, before turning on my heels to make my way back, but suddenly Lauren's hand enclosed around my wrist, whirling my back around.

"So? W-what are you... Do you want.. ." She stammered out, shuffling uncomfortably on her feet.

"I'm sorry Lauren... I can be your secret, but either you're with me, or you're with Keaton... and thats your decision to make."

With those words, I entangled my wrists from her hold and made my way back inside the house. I quickly wiped at the tears that had fallen, hoping that it wasn't to obvious that I had been crying.

Once inside, I was glad that the living-room was mostly bathed in darkness, only illuminated by a small Ikea lamp in the corner and the light coming from the TV screen. I made my way over towards Dinah and snuggled up to her, hoping to receive some comforting cuddles after what had just gone down outside. She immediately wrapped me up in a tight hug.

"Sorry 'bout earlier, Mila. I screwed up. I thought maybe it would give you two a little push and... ."

I let out a bitter laugh, before shaking my head and silencing Dinah at once, "Don't worry about it Dinah."

After probably 10 minutes I heard the door being opened and watched as Lauren nonchalantly strolled into the room. I looked at her, trying to ignore the pain in my chest and the voice inside my head that was telling me that I'm an idiot. Lauren looked all put back together again and if it wouldn't have been for the little trail of salt her tears had left behind, no one would've guessed she had been crying her heart out minutes ago.

Suddenly there was a tension in the room that hadn't been there before. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I could feel Lauren's eyes on me. Every time I tried to catch her gaze she quickly looked back to the TV. The weird thing was, I was doing the same.

My eyes would just ever so often drift over to her and they would linger until Lauren would turn her gaze into my direction. We were chasing each others gazes like the moon was chasing the soon.

Somehow this behavior went on through the whole of the following week. The worst happened on Wednesday when we were force to eat lunch alone together. I had that weird feeling that Dinah and Normani had something to do with it.

Since that night Lauren and I barely talked, not if it could be avoided. I wasn't doing it to spite her, I was just hurt. Lauren had confessed to liking me too and I just couldn't wrap my mind about the fact that we both liked each other but couldn't be together for whatever reasoning Lauren had.

I wanted to talk to my mother so badly. I knew she would probably have a solution for me, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure how she would react, since she wasn't very fond of my disposition. I hadn't promise Lauren to keep that we had kissed to myself, but even when I had tried to tell Dinah about it, it wouldn't come out.

So when the week was finally coming to an end, I curled up in my room and watched the last season of Angel, but when Fred died and I was crying my eyes out I realized something.

Life is to short. Lauren might like me now, but maybe in a couple weeks she could realize that I was just some weird girl, maybe after a months of things being like they are right now, she would get over me, or she would realize that Keaton is the only one she wants. But right now, I had the chance of being with the girl I loved, even if it wasn't in the way I hoped. It was better than nothing, right?

There was one thing I could do though. I could try to make her fall for me in such a way, that she would realize that she doesn't need Keaton as her handbag. Even if it goes against my own principles and would probably get me into so much trouble that I could sing a song of all the consequences that would come with this decision, I was going to do it.

Without further ado, I put on my jacket and stole my fathers car keys, making my over to Laurens house. I knew it was a mistake to make such a rash decision, but I knew that if I waited any longer, I would chicken out.

I quickly parked the car and made my way to her home and knocked on the door. A young girl who had the same untamable dark hair Lauren had opened the door, looking a little irritated.

"Hi."

"Hey, uhm is Lauren home?" I asked a little uncomfortable, already feeling my courage dwindle.

"Yea, she is upstairs, 2nd room to the right." The girl smiled, opening the door a little wider for me to step inside.

I quickly thanked her making my way up the stairs. With each step my legs got heavier and once I was standing in front of her door, I took in a deep breath and knocked.

"What?" I heard Lauren yell annoyed, but instead of waiting I just stepped into her room, closing the door behind myself. I leaned my back against the door, coming face to face with a very confused and shocked looking Lauren.

"Camz... W-what are you doing ... ."

"I'll do it." I rushed out before I lost the last bit of courage inside my system. "If you still want to that is of course."

"Huh... ." Lauren just breathed out looking confused and really cute in her Pj's. "You want to... why now?"

I shook my head, closing the distance between us. "I'd rather share you with Keaton than not have you at all." I admitted.

Laurens scowl was instantly replaced with her signature smirk and not a second later she had closed the rest of the distance between us and pressed her lips to mine in a searing kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get the chapter out before today, I hope you liked it. I haven't been able to really proofed read this chapter so I really hope its not to bad. Also if you like reading Harry Potter fanfic and Camren you should check out - https://archiveofourown.org/works/16815211/chapters/39469363 - Anyway Happy Holidays.


	17. Panopticon

Shawn's POV

Last Thursday

"Can you see them?" Dinah asked, getting up to get a better look at the two girls that were currently occupying our usual lunch table.

"Dinah Jane, sit you ass down!" Normani chastised and pulled the Polynesian back down on her chair, quickly ducking her head. "They will see us!"

"Are they talking?" Dinah continued to ask, ignoring Normani, as she strained in her seat to get a better view.

"Nope." I breathed out shaking my head, averting my eyes to the table.

"What do you mean, no?" Normani asked, now getting up herself, to get a better look at the girls. "Why aren't they talking?"

"Why are things never going as planned?" Dinah huffed annoyed, now getting up as well and sneaking her way over to the girls. She stopped at the closest stone pillar and peeked around, closely followed by Normani. These girls were seriously ridiculous and I swear if Camila and Lauren weren't to busy keeping their eyes firmly planted on their food, they had already caught them staring.

"This is all your fault Dinah!"

"No its not, its yours. You allowed them to talk without supervision."

"You made them kiss... ." Normani quickly argued, leaning slightly away to glare at the blond. "... and even that, you fucked up."

"Well... I thought it would help... ."

"They were not ready yet..."

"Girls."

"What?" Both of them asked annoyed, looking back at me only for us to get interrupted by a another voice."

"Whats up, guys." Keaton said, looking a little bemused at the way Normani was draped over Dinahs back, as they snuck glances at the girls. "What are you looking at?"

Quickly they scrambled away from one another, causing Keaton to lift his eyebrows at them in question before turning his gaze on me.

"Don't ask." I chuckled, quickly taking a hold of Dinah and Normani's arms to drag them out of the cafeteria, before we actually would end up getting caught.

"Good job at laying low, you guys."

"Don't even start Shawny boy." Dinah said, wiggling her index finger at me.

"Maybe we should just ask her."

"Yea, because that worked out so well last time, where she broke down crying."

"Well, seeing as this plan worked so well... "

"I didn't see you come up with something better." Dinah said crossing her arms in front of her chest defensively.

Since the 'girls night' at Allys place, Camila and Lauren had been acting off. I vaguely remembered the night because I had drank some of Allys tequila mixed with beer, which had ended up being a terrible idea. But there were snippets I remembered. Dinah had dared Lauren to kiss Camila and when they were about to, Camila had ran off. She had completely freaked out over it and left a horrified and hurt Lauren behind.

Lauren had quickly tried to laugh it off, but I knew it had gotten to her and to be honest I would probably have felt the same way she did. I didn't particularly like Lauren, but that was only because I had gotten to know her through the girls stories. They made her out to be this awesome chick, who put the moon on the night sky, especially Camila. In Camila's eyes Lauren could do no wrong. I had learned that lesson very early on in our relationship. Talk badly about Lauren and you will end up with the silent treatment for a week.

I could never believe their stories because that girl had hurt all of them. And as far as I knew she had always been Camila's protector when they were little, best friends... and yet this girl had just blatantly forgotten about her, or regarded her like a piece of trash.

Okay maybe I'm a little bias and maybe I'm a little jealous of Lauren. She carries Camila's heart without even knowing it, without even caring and that alone made me dislike her. I would kiss the floor Camila walks on if she asked me too, but I knew Camila would never feel the same way, I'm not dumb. I see the way she looks at Lauren and it breaks me a little, every time I catch her doing so.

I think you could say that is why I notice everything about her. Just like that night when she walked back inside after her talk with Lauren. I knew she had cried. I saw it even though the room was only dimly lit. She had instantly snuggled her face into Dinah's chest, hiding her puffy red face from the rest of us.

And when Lauren had come back, she looked normal, there were no red eyes, or even a red face, she looked as always. Thats when I knew she had broken Camila's heart yet again. I didn't know what had actually gone down outside, but I had a pretty good idea.

I knew that I was more than right when Monday had come around and they wouldn't even as much as look at one another. Occasionally they would exchange some quick words, but they were kept to a minimum. Lauren looked miserable and kept stealing glances at the brunette, while Camila just looked sad and hurt. The whole week there was this strange tension that seemed to built up all around us when the girls ended up in a rather close proximity to one another.

Thats when Dinah and Normani came up with the brilliant idea of forcing them to talk, hence why we were currently standing in the middle of the hallway, arguing and extremely hungry.

"Lets give them until Monday, and if things haven't changed we just confront them at lunch."

"Things wont change over the weekend... lets do it tomorrow."

"No, are you crazy Dinah, you know Keaton eats with us on Fridays... ." I quickly interjected, knowing that no one will spill anything if he'd be there.

"Right... " Dinah drawled, squinting her eyes at me. "Monday it is."

Present day

Dinah, Normani and I were sitting in the cafeteria, at our table, anxiously waiting for the two Cuban girls to arrive. We had gone over how to confront them atleast 10 times by now. My palms had began to sweat and it was only getting worse with every minute we were waiting for them.

"Ugh! My hair looks ratchet." Normani complained, fixing her hair in a small mirror she was holding up, -she always does this when she's nervous.

"Whats new, Mani?" Dinah responded, picking around in her food, smirking to herself, while Normani began glaring at her incredulously.

"Excuse me?"

"You are excused." Dinah chuckled, winking at the other girl. Normani only rolled her eyes in response, clicking her tongue.

"Whats taking them so long? They usually are the first ones seated." I said annoyed, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. I really just needed to get this over with.

"I don't know." Normani sighed, shrugging her shoulders in response. She looked around the cafeteria again, shutting her mirror close and stuffing it back into her bag.

"Mila only said that she needed to use the bathroom real quick, but its been almost ten minutes now."

"Shawn? Did you tell Mila?" Normani suddenly sighed annoyed, glaring at me.

"What?" I asked shocked that she would think that. "No, of course not. I want to get to the bottom of this as much as you guys."

We both slumped down in our chairs, watching as the time slowly ticked away. "This is stupid. Every time we plan a thing, it goes haywire."

"Hey girls." We heard Lauren say somewhere behind us, making all of our heads snap into her direction.

"What the hell happened to you?" Dinah asked, raking her eyes up and down Laurens disarrayed attire. Lauren looked like she been through a storm. She seemed out of breath and her hair was a mess. Taking in the rest of her attire, I noticed some of the buttons of her flannel not matching up with their holes.

"Ugh... I was... I mean... what do you mean.... " The newly arrived girl asked, self-consciously straightening out her clothes.

"Hey guys." Camila's yelled sweetly, causing all our heads to turn the other way into her direction. She was holding a banana with a bottle of water and her hair looked almost as disheveled as Laurens.

"What did I miss?" Camila asked, sitting down next to Dinah, without a care in the world.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Camila's eyes suddenly grew wide, before she leaned over to Dinah and whispered not so quietly. "In the bathroom?"

Dinah only stared at her, until she realized what Camila was trying to tell her. Her eyes went wide in understanding and she quickly nodded, clearing her throat.

An awkward silence seemed to wash over our table as we all looked down at the food in front of us. The three of us knew, that there was no point to do our intervention now, we only had 5 more minutes left and in no way in hell would we let those two get away.

Normani and I made eye contact and we both nodded our head in understanding that we would do this thing tomorrow during lunch.

What we didn't expected was that both of them would not show up again. Camila and Lauren still seemed unable to look each other in the eye and now they seemed to purposely skip lunch, in order to not have to spent time together. This was getting more ridiculous day by day. On Wednesday we ended up searching them. We had split up and gone looking for them, but once we met up near the gym, neither one of us had found even one of the girls we had been looking for.

"What the hell, where are they?" Dinah asked almost annoyed, shaking her head in disbelieve.

"They must know we were planning something and... ."

The metal doors to the locker rooms noisily slammed open, revealing the two girls we had been looking all over for.

All our eyes went wide as we stared at the two girls and they stared back at us in obvious surprise. They looked like they had gotten into a fight, maybe this was even worse then we had thought.

"H-Hey guys... ." Camila stuttered out awkwardly, tugging at the hem of her shirt.

"What the hell were you doing in the locker room?" Dinah asked, with her hands on her hips, eying the two of them suspiciously.

"Uhm... we... ah-we, uhm... ." was Lauren intelligent response, as she wildly gestured with her hands, looking at Camila for help.

I raised my eyebrows expectantly staring at Camila, while Normani began crossing her arms and tapping her foot, waiting for their explanation.

"I needed deodorant and asked if Lauren had some... thats obviously the reason why we were in the locker room.. because I needed deodorant.. for my armpits.. because... I needed deodorant... ."

"Yes." Lauren agreed, nodding her head vigorously in confirmation. "Deodorant!"

I furrowed my brows, exchanging confused looks with the girls, not understanding what was going on.

"Uhm, I'm hungry.. and we haven't had lunch yet... because I couldn't find the Deodorant... so we should probably... ." Lauren said awkwardly, gesturing with her hands into the direction of the cafeteria.

"Yes, I'm starving." Camila confirmed, clapping her hands together, before pulling Lauren along and towards the lunchroom.

"Uhm... what the hell just happened?" Normani asked confused, looking at Dinah and me perplexed, as we watched the 2 girls head for our lunch table.

"Either they were sucking faces in there, or they had a fight." Dinah concluded, pointing at the locker room.

"Or Mila just needed Deodorant." Both the girls heads slowly turned towards me, with raised eyebrows. "What? You're a next level of delusional, if you think they made out in there... ."

"I guess he has a point." Normani agreed with a sigh, uncrossing her arms. "I mean Lauren does have a boyfriend... ."

Dinah reluctantly agreed, also releasing a long deep sigh. "I guess."

Camila's POV

Lauren was the only thing occupying my mind, so much so that I completely failed to realize that my maths class was already over. I quickly grabbed my books and made my way over to my locker with my thoughts sill lingering on the green eyed girls luscious full, red lips moving against mine.

Have you ever liked someone so much, that you just cant stop thinking about them? Every hour of the day its like -What are they doing right now? Are they thinking about me as well? What was the last thing they ate? Have they gotten enough sleep? I wonder what they are thinking about right now... . And when they're close you can barely breath, everything they do is just overwhelming and cute. They slightly touch you and you don't even know what hits you. You get all warm and fuzzy inside and your head feels like its stuck in the clouds and you get them chills that rake through your whole body?

Laurens arms always been the one place that felt like home. I knew she was my grain in the sea of sand since I was little and I didn't even know the meaning of these words. My papa once told me that the first time you fall in love changes you forever and no matter how hard you try, the feeling just never really goes away. So I knew that I had no choice and on Saturday, I had faced my fears head on. I had been shaking from fear of rejection, afraid that Lauren had changed her mind, but those fears flew straight out of the window once Lauren had closed the distance between us and had pressed her lips to mine.

I still could barely believe my luck. Lauren actually liked me back. Me! The awkward nerd, who rather sat at home and watched Harry Potter with her sister then go out to party. Me, the girl who apparently makes the worst jokes, the dork who constantly trips over her own feet. Me, who is awkward and weird, the one that everyone overlooks because she's not pretty enough, or has enough in the breast department, yet Lauren likes me.

I was almost at my locker, when I suddenly felt fingers wrap around my wrist, pulling me into the next janitors closet. I accidentally dropped my books and they clattered loudly to the floor.

"What took you so long?" Lauren groaned, before she closed the distance between us, wrapping her arms around my waist to pull me closer.

"Lauren?" I breathed out, with a smile on my lips, instinctively wrapping my arms around her neck. "Long time no see."

She only smiled in response, making my heart flutter. Shaking her head slightly at me, she closed the distance between us and kissed me softly. I sighed against her lips in contentment, closing my eyes. Her lips were moving sweetly over mine, as if they were made of thin sheets of glass that she would break if she moved to quickly. Only Lauren could make me feel butterflies in my stomach. Like when you're at the peak of a roller coaster and you're suddenly dropped down the hill, only twenty times better.

I had to admit, in the beginning I had my doubt about this "secret relationships" thing. I didn't like that Lauren was dating Keaton on the side, but deep down I knew she didn't have any serious feelings towards him. I had to believe it, otherwise the amount of pain I possibly had gotten myself into, would be unimaginable. Also then there was just Lauren, her scent was like my own personal drug. I was an addict, completely and utterly hooked. Her kisses were driving me insane and doing things to my body that I had never even dreamed of feeling and even when I didn't like to admit it, it was exciting to be her secret.

We had almost gotten caught on Wednesday, but the feeling of being with this girl and the thrill of getting caught, was slowly getting addicting.

It seemed like this whole week, Dopamine and Adrenalin were constantly flooding through my system, keeping me hooked and excited. The thrill of them finding us, knowing that Lauren belonged to me, was exciting to me, but to Lauren it was a constant risk of an anxiety attack.

She was rapidly growing more afraid that the girls could find out about us and became more smart about the choices were we would make out and in what kind of state we would leave that place. I on the other hand could have cared less. I wanted them to know, so I let her walk around with her hair disarrayed and her shirt wrongly buttoned up, knowing that I was responsible for it.

I was just about to tangle my fingers in the back of her hair, when our lips parted and Lauren leaned her forehead on mine, gently.

"Don't. You always leave me disheveled as fuck."

I slowly blinked my eyes open, keeping my gaze fixed on her lips, chuckling. "I though you're of limits on Fridays."

"What can I say? I just couldn't resist." Lauren smirked, pulling me impossibly closer. "You have no idea what you do to me, when you're wearing my softball jacket."

I could feel Laurens hands slowly roam over my back, as she began to pepper my neck with kisses. I rolled my lower lip under my front teeth, enjoying the way her lips caressed my skin. "Hmm, I might have an idea."

I felt Lauren sigh against my neck. "Ugh, I don't want to go to lunch." She suddenly complained, resting her chin on my shoulder, as her fingers began to play with the loops of my belt.

"It's your rules... ." I giggled, only gaining a groan in response.

"I hate my rules." She sighed again, her warm breath tickling my neck, causing a shudder to go through my body. "Ugh! Fine. You leave first and I follow after 3 minutes."

Lauren was about to pull away, but I kept her close. "...Or... ." I drawled, moving my hand up to the back of her neck to pull her back in, so we were nose to nose. "We stay and... ."

"Camzi you know we cant." Lauren began complaining, shifting her body back and fourth like an impatient child. She pecked my pouting lips one last time before she entangled herself from my arms and picked up my books.

"Please go." She chuckled, letting her eyes roam appreciatively over my body one last time. I knew as soon as we would leave this closet everything would go back to hiding. I wasn't allowed to touch her, to kiss her and she was back at being 'in love' with Keaton.

I watched as her hand was slowly turning the door handle. If she was going to go back to Keaton, I needed to make sure she knew that I was the better choice. I darted forward, clawing at her jacket and unintentionally shoving Lauren hard against the door behind her, gaining a small sound of approval from the raven haired beauty. Before Lauren had time to react to anything else I pulled her into another toe curling kiss.

I slipped my tongue into the green eyed girls waiting mouth and Lauren all to eagerly accepted its entrance, trailing her own around in the inside of mine in a haste. I could feel Lauren moan against my lips, but only a second later I felt her hands on my waist pushing me away. "Jesus, Camz." She panted red faced, biting her lip.

"That was so not fair." She breathed, trying to find her composure again. "Fine.. I leave first. Don't forget to wait a minute or so before coming to lunch." And with those words she quickly rearranged her hair, before she pecked my cheek and hurried out of the closet.

I contemplated skipping lunch, not wanting to see Lauren act all lovey dovey with Keaton, but since I was way to hungry I dismissed the thought and quickly got my food and made my way over to our lunch table. To my dismay I found Keaton talking to Shawn with his arm draped over Lauren shoulders- like she belonged to him. I felt her eyes warningly on mine when I sat down but I just decided on ignoring her, not able to look at them acting all couply with each other.

"Hey Walz. You're kinda late for lunch." Dinah said, eying me with a look that made me feel like she knew what I had been up to.

My mood instantly dropped when I watched Keaton pull Lauren further into his side, like he was proving a point. I only shrugged my shoulders at Dinah's question, keeping my eyes on my lunch.

The rest of the girls were talking excitedly about a party on the weekend and I looked at Shawn who rolled his eyes annoyed and I smiled at him. I felt eyes burning into my side and turned my head to catch Laurens gaze. A small smile graced her lips, sending my nerves into an electric frenzy. How does she always do that? But just as quickly as the gaze came, it had disappeared. Lauren had submerged herself back into their conversation.

I carefully listened, as Keaton talked about the party on Friday and that he was excited to go, but when I saw Lauren nod her head in approval, something inside my stomach steered unpleasantly. I withdrew myself from the conversation happening around me, to preoccupied to keep my thoughts from going to places they did not belong. Somehow that had ended being inevitable though, when Keaton got up to leave and pulled Lauren in for a kiss.

I thought I had been prepared for a moment like that, but oh boy i really wasn't. I didn't expect for it to hurt this much. I felt the bile at the back of my throat, as I watched his tongue slip into her mouth. I swallowed hard, dropping my fork in order to steady myself on the desk. I felt suffocated. Suffocated by Dinah and Shawn's stares. Suffocated by Lauren who so easily accepted him and by Keaton who was so blatantly displayed the power I wished I could have.

I tried to ignore the sting in my chest, pressing my eyes close, but seconds later I find myself running off, subtly enough though for nobody to ask questions. I felt the tears coming and tried to keep them at bay, sucking in a shaky breath.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was almost 9pm, when I found myself sitting on the floor of my room, strumming my guitar. I noticed movement out of the corner of my eyes, but I wasn't even surprised when I saw that it was Lauren, who once again was climbing through my window.

"Hey Camz." She said, waving her hand awkwardly as she slowly approached me. I suddenly felt self-conscious. Had she heard me singing? I could feel my heart flutter, but something inside my stomach still steered unpleasantly.

"Hey Lauren" I breathed in an almost whisper as I looked down at my guitar. I knew that Lauren knew that she had hurt me when she had made out with Keaton in front of me, but I also knew that I had signed myself up for this. I had agreed to it, so I really didn't have the right to act all jealous, did I? 

"I'm sorry." Lauren breathed out, sitting herself down opposite me, but I kept my eyes firmly trained on my instrument, only nodding my head.

"You play?" She asked, gesturing with her hands to the guitar I was holding in my lap.

I licked my lips and nodded my head again, clearing my throat."Shawn thought me."

I saw as her jaw clenched tightly, but then her eyes softened and she smiled. "Can you play something for me?"

I nodded, twisting the nobs at the top, before rearranging the guitar on my lap, slowly strumming the cords. 

I watched as Lauren slowly nodded her head, when she suddenly shifted, crossing her legs. "Can you play a little slower."

I nodded my head again, strumming the guitar a little slower when I heard Lauren slowly hum. 

"You're just to good to be true.  
Cant take my eyes off of you.  
You'd be like heaven to touch.  
I wanna hold you so much.  
And I thank God I'm alive.  
You're just too good to be true.  
Can't take my eyes off of you." 

Lauren began singing and I wasn't sure if she just was having fun or tried to tell me something. I watched her in awe as I adjusted my pace to hers.

"Pardon the way that I stare.  
There's nothing else to compare.  
The sight of you leaves me weak.  
There are no words left to speak.  
But if you feel like I feel.  
Please let me ... uhm... know that it's real... uuh." 

Lauren sang, unsure of the next line, when I joined in. 

"... I philosophy. Possibly speak tongues, Beat drums, Abyssinian, street Baptist. Rap this in fine linen, from the beginning. My practice extending across the atlas. I began this flipping... ."

I stopped rapping when I saw Lauren stare at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. "W-what? Did I sound that bad?" I asked horrified that I had let myself get carried away and quickly hid my face in my hands. 

"No.. ah, not at all, but you were singing the wrong song." Lauren laughed, reaching across to pull my hands away from my face. "And damn, I didn't know you could rap."

I felt my face flush red and I looked anywhere but at the green eyes in front of me. "Oh, ow yea you're right. Well, that makes me feel stupid. "

"I thought it was cute." Lauren flirted, pushing a strand of brunette hair from my face. 

"What are you doing here, Lo?" I found myself asking out loud, finally looking her in the eyes. 

"I wanted to make sure your okay and to say that I'm sorry that I let it happen in front of you. Also, I'm sorry for climbing in through the window again, but I'm a little scared of your parents." Lauren admitted, her face also flushing red. 

I smiled at her and put my guitar to the side to stand up. The raven haired beauty looked up at me confused, but I hesitantly held out my hand. "Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

A smile instantly stretched on her lips and she nodded her head, taking my hand. I lead her back to my bed and once she was inside I climbed in next to her, cuddling into her side. My head was resting on her chest, as I listened to her unusually fast hearbeat. She wrapped her arm around my waist and tightly held onto me, like a drowning man to a life preserver. 

"I meant it, you know." She whisped against my scalp, when I had almost drifted over the verge of sleep. "I think the songs was pretty fitting to describe what i feel for you."

Sinu's POV

I was just done cleaning the kitchen when I saw that black car parked outside again. I had seen it a couple of times now and it only seemed to be there in the evening or at night. Not thinking much of it, I was about to make my way into the living room when I almost tripped over Karlas shoes. Annoyed I picked them up and threw them outside. This girl needs to learn to clean up after herself. 

I made my way into the living room, giving my husband a peck on his cheek, before picking up the varies amounts of shirts and positively criminal amount of candy wrappers that were thrown everywhere. I love my daughter but she really isn't clean, at all. Who wants a wife who cant even throw her damn candy wrappers into the trashcan?

I let out an annoyed huff, taking the pile of her clothes and made my way upstairs. I guessed that she was probably still awake watching that 'friends' show. I didn't bother knocking and pushed her door open to drop the pile of cloths unceremoniously in her room. I was just about to scold her for her uncleanliness, when I spotted her sleeping in her bed, -but she wasn't alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I definitly am planning on finishing this story, but like I said I wont be able to update as regularly since I have a huge project to take care of at work, that literally takes away all of my time, but as long as I see people enjoying and liking the story I'll make sure to keep the updates sort of "somewhat" regularly.


	18. Sneakin' around

**Sinu's POV**

The pile of gathered clothes slipped from my hold, as my gaze focused on the two girls peacefully sleeping on the bed in a tangle of hair and limbs. I was taken aback for a second, as my eyes scanned over the couple, but it really shouldn't have been a surprise to see Camila and Lauren snuggled up together.

Of course Lauren's here and of course Camila wouldn't listen to anything when it came to her childhood best friend.

Camila was sprawled out almost completely on top of Lauren, clinging onto her like she could disappear any second again, while Lauren was purged on the edge of the bed with little to no space. For a second I saw them in front of me as the best friends they once were. Crazy kids with crazy fantasies and to much time on their hands and no care in the world. But now, they weren't kids anymore.

One of Laurens arms was tightly wrapped around Camilas back, keeping her in place, while her pale, left leg dangled loosely over the edge of the bed. My gaze shifted a little further up, to Laurens other hand which was laying on the uppermost part of my daughters leg, her small fingers were spread loosely like the petals of an open flower. It may be a little bit to intimate, a tableau that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with, yet Camila had always been this close with her friends. I'm sure that Lauren could easily been replaced by Dinah, Normani or maybe even Shawn.

Shawn's a really nice guy, one I hoped my daughter would one day see as more than a friend. He's handsome and respectful, someone I know could be good for her. He'd been in love with her since the first day they had met. A blind man could see it, yet my daughter seemed to be blissfully ignorant about that fact.

A fresh breeze of air came in through the open window, causing me to shake my head at the girls. Lauren must have climbed in through the window, because she most definitely did not come in through the front door. I froze for a second, watching as Lauren began to move.

I watched as she smacked her lips together, nuzzling her face deeper into my daughters hair, while pressing Camila even closer to her body. I suddenly felt like I was intruding in an intimate moment and quickly kicked the pile of clothes to the side and left the room, quietly closing the door behind me.

It really shouldn't be a shock to see them sneaking around behind our backs, even as kids these two had always been inseparable and somehow they always found their way back to one another. I guess magnets would've been harder to keep apart.

But another feeling settled inside my stomach, just like that persisting voice inside my head, that told me that there was more to it. I had ignored it for the longest time, as long as there were no indications that my thoughts could be correct I had tried to push it away, to bury it. I had feared the worst when we had caught the girls in bed together, but that feeling had quickly faded once Karla had confirmed that Lauren actually had a boyfriend. I wanted to ignore my daughters nervousness and her gazing starry eyes directed at Lauren, but only a couple of weeks ago, had Karla confirmed those suspicions. Things had been weird between us ever since and I wasn't sure how I could fix it.

I made my way back downstairs, making sure to tell Alejandro that Camila was fast asleep so he wouldn't feel the need check up on her before going to bed. I wasn't sure how he would react if he found out that a certain green eyed girl was currently sleeping in bed with his oldest daughters and that, probably not for the second time since she has been back. I knew I should have mentioned something to Ale and Camila, but part of me was glad that the raven haired girl was back.

It was impossible to ignore the fact that ever since Lauren came back into Karlas live, shes been happier. Her smile is just a little more brighter and her spirit seemed lighter, she seemed more content, like she finally had been able to let go of a decade old burden she'd been carrying around.

The next morning, I found myself waiting in the kitchen, waiting for the black car to disappear before I made my way upstairs to wake Karla up.

**Lauren's POV**

I was almost on top of the roof, when I heard music blasting from Camilas room. I smirked to myself, hearing Camila loudly sing along to some Ed Sheeran song.

I was glad that Keaton had suggested to meet at the party so he could get blasted with his friends first and I'd get to spent some more time with 'the girls'. Thankfully I easily been able to convince Dinah that I'd pick up Camila, so they wouldn't have to bother making a detour.

I peered through the open window and immediately a grin began grazing my face. I watched Camila hopping around, pulling on a pair of denim jeans, while trying to manage several other things at once. She finally managed to slip her jeans over her underwear and then walked over to the dresser to brush her long, dark hair. She mercilessly brushed through the knots that quickly gave away and then turned back to the closet. She filtered through varies shirts, settling on a white crop top that had 'stussy' written on the front and slipped it over her head all the while dancing, turning and walking back to her desk. Suddenly she stopped, staring back at me wide eyed with mortification.

"How long... When did you- ? I... Oh my god." She groaned, burring her face inside her hands, before realizing that most of her abdomen was still on display and proceeded to quickly pull her top down. The smirk never left my face as I climbed in through the window and closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her in for a hug.

"How long?" Camila asked shyly, hiding her red face in my neck.

I chuckled, hooking my fingers through Camilas pants loops, giving it a small tug. "Hmm... just before these were on."

Camila quickly leaned away from me, punching my arm with her flat hand, her face growing four shades of red. "Owwie." I chuckled, letting go of Camila to dramatically rub my arm.

"You could have at least warned me... Wait! What are... Why are you here?" Camila asked, suddenly confused.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you not want me here?" I asked, holding up my arms defensively, before pouting and turning back to the window. "Fine princess... Here I thought I'd pick you up instead of Dinah, but hey... if you don't want me here... I'll just leave you to... ."

"No.. nononono.... ." Camila giggled, running after me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and jumping up, to wrap her legs around my waist. "Don't you dare leave me."

My mouth involuntarily turned into an even more amused smirk, as I bounced, to adjust my grip on her. "Wouldn't dream of it." I laughed, just before she finally closed the distance and pressed her lips against mine. I deepened the kiss, adjusting my grip on Camilas butt and muffling her moan with my tongue. I could feel her fingers tangle with the back of my hair, before tugging slightly on it. Only a second later did she pull away, her lips bruised and eyes unfocused as she tilted her head to the side, pouting. "I still need to get ready... ."

"Hmmh, okay ... yea." I nodded my head, before sitting her down on her desk and placing open mouth kisses along Camila's neck, making her gasp and tangle her fingers back into my hair, keeping me close.

"Lauren!" Camila gasped, her head falling back into a silent groan. "Shit. Lauren, they... uhm gonna ask question if we don't leave soon." Camila half heartedly tried, but tightened her grip. I pressed another kiss into the hollow of her shoulder, as my hands skimmed under the brunettes shirt, touching warm skin and causing Camila to instantly shiver.

After a moment Camila pulled back, shacking her head and falling out of her daze. "I really need to get ready." She said, wiggling free from my hold to get up from the desk to pull on her sneakers.

**Camila's POV**

"You look gorgeous by the way." Lauren said nonchalantly, glancing over towards me, before shifting her eyes to the road again, chuckling. "I forgot to tell you earlier... I was a little... distracted."

I brushed my thumb up and down Laurens hand, leaning over and pecking the green eyed girl on the right cheek. "I'm sorry, but have you seen yourself? You're even more gorgeous. Plus with those smokey eyes... guuurl... you can take me home any time..."

"Stap it." Lauren laughed, as her ears turned red, -a reaction that left me more than satisfied.

"Seriously though, I look at you and its like- Boom, Planet green eyes attack you... ."

"Camila... " Lauren groaned, dragging out the i. "You.. just uh... you need uhm... ."

"What?" I chuckled.

"Just stop being cute... your messing with my mental filter." Lauren mumbled embarrassed, before driving into the parking space, shifting the car into park and turning her body towards me. I watched as she looked passed me, her eyes doing a quick scan of the area before she gently reached out and placed her thumb and index finger on my chin, pulling me forward into a deep meaningful kiss.

I was a little surprised at her action, since we were parking in a very public spot just a couple houses away from the party, but the moment Laurens teeth sank into my bottom lip, I couldn't seem to care anymore. Within seconds my fingers found their way into her hair.

A familiar warmth spread through my stomach, but only a second later Lauren began pulling away again and a second later I understood why as a group of people passed by the car.

"Sorry." She breathed out awkwardly, keeping her eyes firmly planted on my lips.

"Don't be. I liked it." I reassured her, caressing her cheek before taking in a deep breath. "So lets do this."

We both got out of the car and made our way over to the party. I walked next to her, occasionally letting our hands brush. I was pleasantly surprised when she let her fingers glide into mine, intertwining them.

The party was already in full swing. Most people were outside dancing by the pool or huddled in circle animatedly talking and smoking.

"Hello, Camren!" A girl drawled, wrapping her arm around Laurens shoulder. I watched as she brushed her dark hair out of her face and realized that it was Kehlani. Her eyes were already lidded and unsteady and only a second later did her eyes land on our intertwined hands.

"Oh shit! Are you guys finally dating? Is it off-i-c-ial?" Kehlani gasped excitedly, slurring the last word. I felt the sudden tension coming off of Lauren in waves, as she went into an instant panic mode and quickly dropped my hand, scowling at Kehlani with deep seated worry in her eyes.  
I knew that it was an action out of anxiety, but it still stung.

I smiled back at Kehlani, determined to ignore the small sting. "You know, K. I try and try but Lolo loves another." I joked, lightly pushing Lauren by her shoulders, causing her to release a breath of relief.

I watched as Kehlani pushed herself away from Lauren, wrapping her now free arm around my shoulder and pulling me into her side, pressing her lips to my ear in an hopeless attempt to whisper. "Yea... she sure is flaca... With you." She said, emphasizing her words by pushing her index finger into my chest. "But don't tell her I said that." she drawled loudly, before pushing herself away from me, giving Lauren's head a quick pat and then dived back into the crowd of dancing bodies.

I could feel Laurens eyes on me, knowing that she thought she had upset me with her action, but I returned her worried eyes with a bright smile.

"I should go find Keaton." She said clearing her throat awkwardly.

I nodded in response, looking down at her feet. She reached out and squeezed my wrist in reassurance, before walking off. I watched her walk away before I made my way through the crowd to Dinah, Normani, Ally and the rest of our friends.

Most parts of the night were spent with watching Lauren from afar. I was more than relived that she was acting very passively towards Keaton and dodged most of his kissing attempts. I was scrolling through tumblr, hoping the party would come to a quick end, when I felt someone take a seat next to me.

"Wow, you really do hate parties, don't ya?" Liam said, smirking as he looked at my phone screen. Liam and I weren't exactly friends, but we also weren't strangers. We would smile at each other when we met in the hallway or acknowledge each other in music class with regular 'whats up's' but that was mostly it.

"Its alright." I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders, causing him to chuckle.

"You're a horrible liar." he said, taking a sip from his beer, before nodding his head into Laurens direction. "How's it going so far?"

My head whipped into his direction and my eyes went wide at what he said. "I-What?"

"You know, first I thought you were jealous of Lauren because Stromberg liked her- well, that was until I saw the way you two acted and it hit me. And now... I really feel so dumb, it's literally written all over your face every time you look at her." he said, waving his hand in circular motions in front of my face.

"Liam, you cant tell anyone." I said, panicking at his words.

"Don't worry, Mila." He chuckled, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me playfully into his side. "In fact... I'm helping you."

I frowned, staring up at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Before he could answer my question, my eyes met Laurens angry green ones. "Someone's jelly." Liam chuckled obviously amused, causing me to roll my eyes at him. Lauren was clenching her jaw so tightly that I was surprised that her teeth hadn't broken into tiny pieces yet. "Stop... Liam."

"I'm helping you guys out here... Aw, Look. Here she comes... ." he snickered, while I brushed his arms from my shoulder.

"Liam! You're such an... ."

"Hey Camzi, what are you guys talkin' bout?" She asked, not so subtly leaning on the table in between Liam and I, before wrapping a possessive arm around my waist and pulling me into her side and away from the boy.

"Oh you know... We were just talking about how much we both love music. We're actually thinking of doing a song together." Liam said, winking at me.

I wanted to slap him across the face, had he really just lied to her in an attempt to make her jealous. I rolled my eyes, subtly shaking my head at him, trying to tell him to stop, knowing that Lauren was not seeing though his ridiculous attempt, instead she completely fell for it. All of Laurens focus seemed to be on the boy and her glare was getting more deadly by the second.

"Liam, I don't... ." I tried, clearing my throat.

"What do you think Lauren? Don't you think Mila and I would make a great couple? I would even go as far as saying that we more than harmonize voice vice." Liam went on, completely ignoring the death glare he was receiving.

The tension between the three of us was swiftly increasing. Liam was blatantly taunting Lauren and she was still complete falling for it. Liam kept his gaze on me, while Lauren was staring daggers into him. Seeing the pure, concentrated jealousy in Lauren's eyes was like my own personal brand of cocaine and feeling Lo's possessive touch on my skin was absolutely addicting, but even though I loved it, I knew it wasn't fair to Lo.

"Don't ice cubes basically swimming around in a pool of their own blood?" I found myself dumbly asking in an attempt to cut the tension. Liam's brows furrowed in confusion, while Lauren threw her head back in laughter.

"How do you go from the topic of making a song together to ice cubes swimming in their own pool of blood?" Liam asked a little confused.

I awkwardly shrugged, but was mostly focused on the way Lauren was tipping her head backwards in laughter. God I could listen to her laugh all day.

A set of newcomers came rushing through the front door causing all our attention to shift toward them. The jocks were running through the basement, picking up random people and threw them outside in the pool. One of the boys pulled Liam along with them. They also tried pulling Lauren along, but she swiftly got rid of them. After the basement was almost completely cleared, for the first time this evening, I was left alone with Lauren... well almost alone with Lauren. There were a couple people still hanging around inside, but most of them were standing around the pizzas and red cups with alcohol.

I could suddenly feel Laurens warm hand wrap around mine. I looked up at her smiling brightly, catching her staring at my lips.

"I believe you still owe me a drink."

"Oh! I do? And why is that?" Lauren asked, licking her lips, her gaze never faltering.

"Sí, cuz I dropped mine, staring at you." I smirked, enjoying the way her cheeks turned red.

"Ugh!" Thats so cheesy." She smirked, turning her face away, so I wouldn't see her blushing. "Come on you little flirt."

I let her lead me over towards the pizza, where she poured a cup with half coke and half Bacardi, before she handed it to me. "I'm sorry that I spent most of the night with Keaton, but I think I filled him up with enough alcohol that he leaves us alone for the rest of the night." Lauren snickered, her gaze drifting outside where Keaton and his friend were playing Beer Pong against Dinah and Normani, as she picked up a piece of pizza.

Unsure of what to reply, I also picked up a piece of pizza and began eating it. We enjoyed the moment of silence, just enjoying each others company and the loud pop music playing in the back.

"You've got a little... " Lauren began, sliding closer and wiping away a glob of pizza from my lips. She slipped her dirty finger between her lips, grinning and causing a flutter of butterflies in my stomach, that threatened to burst free.

"Lauren... ." I breathed, my voice sounding raspy and low. I quickly looked around the room, afraid that someone might have seen, but it didn't seem to matter to the other girl, as she took a hold of my wrist and pulled me along to the sofa that was facing away from the window and the people at the pool.

We sat down, completely lost in our gazes, but hyper-aware of the other people still in the room. I don't know when my fingers climbed up Laurens leg, but they were laying flatly against her thigh, just above the knee now, as I drew out random patterns with my thumb.

I could tell that Lauren was breathing heavier with each second that passed. The tension between us was getting bigger, but I knew I had to hold it together, I couldn't afford to lose control. This type of attraction that I had for Lauren... its the first time I felt something so strong for anyone.

When the green eyed girl noticed me staring at her lips, a grin began gracing her own and I couldn't help staring at her teeth, trying not to remember how they had felt, digging into my bottom lip. I tried taking a sip of my red cup in an attempt to focus again, on something, on anything but it didn't help.

And then it happened, leaving me in complete and utter shock.

The couch squeaked loudly as Lauren leaned forward and took the red cup out of my hands, placing it on the table, before she wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer and onto her lap, causing me to let out a noise of surprise. I want to tell Lauren that people could see, but before my mouth was able to catch up with my brain, Laurens lips were already on mine and I instantly melted into her and my worries went flying out the window.

I felt her long fingers flit across my face, my shoulders and then my arms. It took me a moment to regain control, but in seconds my fingers were buried in her hair and I could feel the raven haired girl grinning against my lips.

Suddenly the realization of where we were came back into the for front of my mind and my eyes open wide as I push Lauren away slightly.

"They could see us." I stated breathlessly, taking a quick look around, only now notice that the rest of the room was vacant.

"No they wont." Lauren smiled, slipping her hands under my knees and lifting both of my legs up so they're resting over her lap. Without thinking, I swiftly wrapped them around Lauren and leaned away. She kept chasing my lips, causing us to fall backwards and my back to hit the sofa cushions, as I dragged the other girl along, giggling.

I didn't have much time to think of the position we were in, when Lauren fingers slid under my shirt and up my sides and I knew the surging of my heart had little to do with the alcohol that I had consumed and everything to do with Lauren.

Lauren slowly licked her way up to my ear and I wasn't sure what breathing was anymore. "They cant see us anymore." Lauren whispered reassuringly, her voice turned husky and seductive, as her warm breath tickled my ear and a reflexive shudder overcame my whole body at her words.

Lauren's tongue started pressing eagerly at my lips and I opened my mouth, welcoming her. Not letting the opportunity slip, I played with her belt loops, skimming over towards the backside of her jeans to rest my hands firmly on her ass.

Suddenly we were both startled from the swell of noise coming closer from outside. My body felt warm and fuzzy and my legs were tingling. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to move fast enough before someone could see the position we were in.

Lauren seemed unperturbed though, as she continued her slow trail of bites and kisses down my neck. Feelings brave, I let my hand slowly trail its way up Laurens body until I cupped a hand around one of Lauren's firm breasts and began kneading it slowly.

Apparently Lauren hadn't expected that. Her hips jerked down abruptly and she let out a low moan, almost enough to make her lose her balance. Her face flushed red and she sat up, breathing heavily and obviously ignoring the way I whined at the sudden distance between us, but unlike Lauren I did little to hide the train of my thoughts. I stared fascinatedly at her half exposed abdomen, wondering what she would do if I'd... .

"Shit, Camz." Lauren groaned.

We both heard the glass door to the backyard slide open and two people came stumbling inside the room. I immediately could feel Laurens body tense in alert and I knew we were fucked if they came any closer.

"LooksLauser." Dinah drawled out. She was slumped over Allys tiny frame, barely able to keep her eyes open.

"Hey Lauren, I'm taking this one home..." Ally mumbled, barely able to keep a drunk and sleepy Dinah Jane upright. "... Have you seen Mila? I'm guessing she'd love to leave this party."

I watched amused as Laurens eyes widened in horror and she almost aggressively shook her head.

"Nope, haven't seen her... in here... I mean... I'm the only one here... duh!" She answered in such an high pitched voice that I almost wanted to face palm myself.

"Uh, okay... Well, uh could you maybe take her home later then? I kinda don't want to return after I put this one to bed... ." Ally asked, pointing at Dinah who was trying to bite Ally's pointing index finger.

"Yea, sure... I'll do that... ." Lauren tried answering as I smirked to myself and began sliding my fingers under her shirt and began trailing them up towards her chest again. Her whole body shivered and her hands immediately shot down to mine, holding them down against my sides, stopping any further exploration.

"Good night Ally." Lauren almost yelled at a more than a little confused Ally. Thankfully Ally didn't question Laurens acting though and made her way out of the front door.

The minute Ally and Dinah were out of the room Lauren let out an exasperated, yet relieved breath. "I hate you so much." Lauren began giggling, before letting herself drop down and resting her forehead on my chest.

Thankfully their little run-in with Ally hadn't put a damper on Laurens mood. She was giggling into my chest before she lovely patted my boob and then said:"Lets go. I'm sure as hell not getting caught on this damn sofa."

"Where are we going?" I asked, as Lauren pushed herself upright and got off the sofa, holding out her hand for me.

I smirked and let her pull me up and she instantly wrapped her arm around my shoulders, pulling me in. "We are leaving. I'm just texting Keaton really quick to let him know I'm giving you a ride home."

When we arrived back at my home, I remembered that my father was away on a business trip and my mother was out partying with Dinah's mom and Sofi was spending the night with a friend.

I reached out and took a hold of Laurens hand, causing her to look at me questioningly.

"Can you stay? I don't want to be alone."

Lauren nodded, smiling like she had hoped I'd ask her that exact question. I brought our intertwined hands to my lips and gave her fingers a quick kiss.

With my free hand I fumbled for my keys and once I had them I opened the door and then gestured for Lauren to enter first.

"M'Lady first." I said and once Lauren shook her head at me and walked through the door. I slapped her ass playfully and engulfed her with a hug from behind, nuzzling my face into her neck, as my lips skimmed over her pale skin.

"Babe... ." Lauren whispered, as her legs went a little weak. She took in a deep breath and turned around in my hold, wrapping her arms over my shoulders.

Lauren smelled like temptation. She was staring right into my eyes and I could see every detail of her flawless face, the smoothly applied red lipstick and the perfectly-applied shadow in the creases of her emerald, merciless eyes.  
My thoughts were cut off with the press of the emerald eyes girls lips.

My hands trailed up her arms and skimmed towards the collar of her jacket. I took a hold of it and switched our positions, pressing the taller girl up against the front door. She let out a surprised gasp, as her hands almost immediately found my butt, holding me closer.

My heart was beating so hard that I was sure Lauren could feel it. Deepening the kiss, Lauren tilted her head to the side and opened her lips wider, pressing them harder on mine. The tip of her tongue parted my lips to gain access to my mouth and in that very moment, I went weak in the knees, overwhelmed by everything that was Lauren.

She was here with me instead of that stupid party with him. Keaton. The dark stain on the white sheet of our paper.

The lust and passion was quickly taking me over. It had been sleeping, waiting and though unwanted unbidden it stirred open and took over.

Waves of tingles ran through me, as I pressed my body up against Laurens. My skin felt like it was burning under Laurens touch and when she tangled her fingers into my long hair I moaned and Lauren easily swallowed the sound. I pushed Laurens jacket off her shoulders, running my hands down bare arms as they were exposed.

"God, Lauren... ." I shuddered intensely, as I felt her hands kneading my breasts and my knees finally gave out, but Lauren was quick to grab my waist with one hand, switching out positions, so I was pressed against the door.

Feelings Laurens hot hands still on my waist I took the opportunity and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, as she lifted me up and sat me down on the nearest table.

I kept my legs tightly wrapped around Laurens middle, making sure to keep her close. My heart was still beating maniacally in my chest. Hyper aware of every touch from the goddess in front of me, my skin was burning. Laurens hands were skimming along the skin under my shirt, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Needing the offending material exposed off, I helped Lauren to take off my crop top, before I took a hold of her shirt, when suddenly a cold breeze of air hit my now bare stomach.

"Ay, dios!" Sinu shrieked.

Lauren instinctively took a step back, almost causing me to fall off the table, as we stared wide eyed at mi mamá who had just gotten home.

"Get off my daughter!" She began yelling angry, before she shrugged off her chanclas and threateningly held them up in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know... I kinda don't have an explanation for this other than sleep deprecation ... does any of this make sense? I guess this kinda escalated....  
> Anyway... drama is insured


	19. Turning Point Part 1

**Camila's POV**

"Get off my daughter!" Sinu began yelling angrily, before she shrugged off her chanclas and threateningly held them up in the air.

The next seconds passed like a blur. Laurens warm hands left a hot tingle behind were they had been touching my skin moments ago. I took in a long, deep breath watching wide eyed and almost paralyzed, as my mother hit Lauren multiple times with her chanclas and threw her out of the house.

Once the door was slammed shut, the weight of the situation dawned on me. I watched the half panicked, half angry eyes of my mama being directed at me. Was everything over now? What would happen next? Would I never get to see Lauren again? My thoughts did not have much time to linger. My mama picked up my shirt from the floor and threw it towards me in her rage. "In the kitchen.... Now!" She angrily demanded, before slamming the front door shut.

This was it. I was sure of it. Death by angry Cuban mom. I gulped, swiftly slipping the shirt over my head, before gathering my thoughts and taking a quick look in the mirror. My face was smeared with Laurens lipstick and my hair was a mess. Feeling the red in my cheeks grow only hotter at the fact of what my mother had just witnessed, I rubbed at the smeared lipstick and attempted to smooth out my hair a little. After buttoning my jeans I anxiously made my way into the kitchen, threatening the worst.

My Mama was pacing back and forth, muttering something under her breath in Spanish, but I couldn't make out the words. Guiltily I sat down at the table, looking down at it in embarrassment, waiting for her to calm down.

Sinu opened the cupboard and retrieved herself a bottle of my fathers tequila. She pured herself a glass, before taking a huge sip and silently sat down opposite from me.

She continued to just stare at her drink for what felt like hours until she finally released a long exasperated breath and finally looked at me.

"Sooo.... You and Lauren... Lauren. And. You."

I tried looking up at her, but the cold grasp of anxiety took a hold of my insides. Fear of the possibility that I could either loose Lauren or my family, creeped itself inside my mind as sobs of threat racked through my body. For to long had I tried to hide my feelings, for to long had I tried to avoid my Mama after my confession and finally a weight was lifted of my shoulders, there was no more running, no more hiding, just the plain, old, hard truth.

Hot tears were streaming down my face, but only a second later I could feel the warm embrace from my Mama and moments later I was sitting in her lap, sobbing into her chest, while balling my eyes out.

She cradled me in her arms, kissing the top of my head once my sobs began to calming down. "Mija... ?"

I wiped the tears from my eyes, looking up at her, while she brushed away a loose strand of hair that had fallen into my face.

"I want the doors to be open when Jauregui is here... there also wont be any random visits without me knowing about them..." Sinu began rambling, as she continued to stroke my hair. "Also I'm sorry I hit her with my slippers, but if I see that girl touch you again like that, she won't get away that easily. So touching for you two is off limits in any enclosed space were there is a bed, a couch, no people or a floor... actually I don't care anywhere, no touching like that again!"

I chuckled in relief and leaned away to get a better look at my mother, who seemed to go through the worst possible scenarios in her head. "Why? Its not like she could get me pregnant."

The death glare I was suddenly receiving shut me up almost immediately. "Sorry."

"Mmhmm! Don't even start... ." She said, shaking her head in disapproval. "So, tell me. How long is this been going on? Its only been 4 weeks when you came home crying because you thought your 'crush' didn't like you."

Release washed over me at the realization that my mother was trying to be okay, even if she still seemed to try to get her head around it. Happy that I had finally someone I could confide in, without the possibility of her telling Clara or anybody else finding out, all my feelings that I had been keeping secret began bubbling out of me like a bottle of a fizzy drink with a half tuned lid.

"I've been in love with her ever since I first laid eyes on her. Mami I love her so much it physically hurts when I cant be with her and I literally cant believe that she likes me back. She's so gorgeous and she has the most beautiful emerald eyes in the whole world... I mean you've seen her... and the best thing, her arms feel like a warm summers day and her... to much?" I rambled, seeing the overwhelmed look on my mothers face.

"No." She chuckled, as she let go of me and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Its just... I just have to get used to it, is all. I'm happy for you Mija."

I instantly embraced her again, hugging her tightly. "Thank you."

Once we pulled apart again, Sinu spoke up. "There is one thing, though."

I gulped, nodding my head indicating for her to go on.

"Lets keep this between us for now. I don't think your Papá would react to Lauren in a positive way and I don't want Sofi to know about it... at least for now, okay?"

I nodded my head, not sure how else to respond. I wanted to shout to the whole world that Lauren was my girlfriend... that she had chosen me, but I also knew that the less people knew about us, the safer it was for us. I knew the moment Clara would suspect a thing, Lauren would pull away, so for now I would comply.

I felt a vibration coming from my phone and when I looked at it, I saw multiple text from Lauren.

 **Lauren** : 'Please tell me your okay!'

 **Lauren** : 'Just promise not to disappear on me.'

 **Lauren** : 'Babe?'

 **Lauren** : 'I'm freaking the fuck out...'

 **Lauren** : 'I fucked up so bad, didn't I?'

"Let me guess... your girlfriend." My mother asked teasingly.

I nodded, feeling the smile on my face grow. "Can I... ."

"Go... but keep your hands to yourself." Sinu chuckled, pointing a threatening finger at me.

 **To Lauren** : "Pick me up?"

"Thanks, Mami." I said, making my way outside, knowing that Lauren was probably only around the corner.

Just as I had expected Laurens car appeared just moments later and came to a stop in front of my house, but before Lauren had a chance to get out, I hurried over to her car and slipped inside.

Lauren was full on facing me. Her face was still smeared with lipstick, but her eyes were red now, she had obviously been crying, expecting the worst.

"What happened?" She questioned breathlessly, immediately reaching out for my hand.

I let her intertwine our fingers, before I shook my head. " Don't worry, everything's fine." I reassured her. "Lets go to the beach."

Reluctantly Lauren agreed, obviously not wanting to push the subject, she shifted her car into drive.

* * *

 

I let the warm sand glide through my fingers, as I stared up at the sunset. I could tell, Lauren was still anxious. Her worried green eyes were boring into my side, she was still holding back the question that was burning on the tip of her tongue.

"Lauren... Stop worrying. I'm not going to leave you." I chuckled after a moment, finally catching the green eyed girls gaze.

"You've been quiet the whole drive, how can I not worry?" Lauren confessed, quickly looking the other way.

"My Mom is trying to be okay with it. She wants me to tell her when you're coming over though, Oh and also no closed doors, she wants to make sure that she doesn't walk in on us doing inappropriate things again." I chuckled, resting my hand on top of Laurens thigh.

"Oh, god!" Lauren groaned in embarrassment.

"... also, she uhm... ." I said, clearing my throat uncomfortably. "She doesn't want me to tell Sofi and my Dad, she thinks that... Well, its no secret that he doesn't like you." I finished, feeling my self get upset at the thought.

I looked away from the green eyed beauty. I brought my legs up to my chest, suddenly feeling the cold ocean air blow over my skin, causing me to shiver.

"Heeyy." Lauren said softly, bringing an arm around me, before shifting and taking a seat behind me in the sand. She wrapped me up in a hug from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder, slowly swaying us to the side. She pecked my neck, before bringing me even closer against her chest. "I'll make sure he likes me okay... And believe me, once I'm finished with him, he'll beg me to date you." She chuckled, her warm breath ghosted over my neck, causing a pleasant shiver to go down my spine and through my body.

I leaned my head back against her chest, resting my hands over hers, that were holding me tightly against her. "You better."

We sat there silently for a while, enjoying each others company while watching the last minutes of the sun set.

Suddenly I felt Laurens lips curve into a smile against my neck, I turned my head slightly to get a look at her. "What?"

"Do you remember your first week in kindergarten?" Lauren asked, chuckling slightly. Unbeknownst to Lauren the sound brought butterflies to my stomach.

"Barely. Why?"

"Remember when Austin made fun of the way you ran and Dinah beat the living shit out of him for it." Lauren full on laughed now, resting the side of her head against mine.

"No, but I remember you beating Austin up so I could have my Teddy back." I smirked, turning my head to peck her temple. "Always being my white knight... ."

"Says the one who took the blame when I smeared the word 'fart' all over the walls in the common room, even though your mother had to explain to you in Spanish what the word even meant.... Like everyone knew it was me."

I almost snorted, remembering the day clear as ever now. I had even given Lauren a piggyback so she also could vandalize the upper parts of the wall, because it made her happy.

"... I also remember you crying because of that damn yellow crayon you broke. You were so upset thinking your mother would be mad at you for breaking your new toy."

"I remember you blaming Dinah for it when my Mom asked me about it... ." I chuckled turning my upper body slightly so I could get a better look at the raven haired girl behind me.

"And she totally bought it!" Lauren chuckled again, pressing me closer to her chest again. She pecked the top of my head before staring out at the sun set again.

"Oh my god, do you remember that one time Dinah dared you to steal Mrs. Adams car keys?" I asked Lauren, who seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.

"I'm not sure." She chuckled sweetly, making my heart melt.

"You roped me into distracting her, while you stole the keys out of her bag. Remember, I pretended that I had fallen down on the stairs?"

"Oh, wait! Yes, I do remember! And after I got the keys Dinah dared Mani to drive us to McDonald! ...The good old days..."

"Good? We only got down the street, before Mani drove the car into a mailbox. Mani's mom was so mad. She wasn't allowed to have sleepovers with us for two months!" I recalled for Lauren, who was smirking at the memory.

"Do you think Dinah had a bad influence on us?" Lauren joked light heatedly, smiling against my neck.

"No, Dinah was the little sister I didn't have back then." I smirked, turning my upper body around in Lauren embrace, before pushing her down against the sand and resting my body flatly on top of her.

Lauren only smiled up at me, raising her eyebrows in question.

"You know what... ?"

"Hmmh?"

"Your lips look kinda lonely. Maybe they would like to meet mine?" I tried to flirt, enjoying the way Laurens smile began to stretch on her lips, as she turned her face away from mine, rolling her eyes.

"Come on. Dame un beso." I laughed, pointing at my lips with my index finger while puckering my lips at her.

Lauren chuckled up at me, before leaning up and capturing my lips in a quick kiss before resting her head back down against the sand.

"More." I pouted at her, puckering my lips again, causing her to chuckle and roll her eyes."

"You're so needy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only part one, I'm almost finished with my Projekt so I will probably be able to update more frequently again... depending if anybody still cares about the story of course ;) good day


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